Love lessons hard to stomach

Love lessons hard to stomach

I wish someone told me at some point: ‘Maybe it is a good time to visit your family.’ There was no one there to tell me that. There was no one to remind me, to encourage me, to make that decision for me. Perhaps we were all too comfortable with WhatsApp chats and occasional phone-calls. All too comfortable with not needing to clean up the house before the guests arrive, make time for each other. We are heavy together at times, true, but we are also good managers of each other’s moods if we choose to be.

I chatted to a friend recently online. I was almost breathlessly listing all the troubles that do not belong to my dream life and that are not possible to escape from. With every point listed, I felt that I was adding a stone to her basket, making her life as heavy as mine. I felt she listened through reading the messages in our chat but I had an impression that I was making her body posture bend, just as mine was bending at the time. I felt horrible for being so needy and then I thought maybe she thinks differently about it all. Maybe… she has a bag in front of her and all my stones end up in that bag and then perhaps she will use them to create borders for flowers in her real or imagined garden. Perhaps she will make something useful out of my pain. Perhaps every point listed needs support to be enlisted.

I am feeling quite lonely now and strangely I have this urgent need to care for the world, feeling that I messed up big time on a few seminal life tasks in the last ten years and I’d like not to be doing it forever. Regrets pour out of me through holes in my head and chest and where the holes are I have a vision of green grasses growing. When I was little I used to help my dad with guarding our cherry orchard. Every so often I would sit down in the very early morning hours and I would watch the dew on the grass blades and their shimmering in the morning rising sun. I remember thinking then that there is no hope for me as there is no job that would pay me for looking at the light piercing through water. Children know little about the job market, don’t they?

Above my desk, on a shelf, I have a mug depicting the hedgehog character from Beatrix Potter’s story, Mrs Tiggy-Winkle, illustrating also a piece of cake on a plate, a tea cup, a butterfly, a ladybird and twig and her in the garden with a bird perched next to her apron. She looks at the cake invitingly with an expression saying: ‘I hope you will like it, my dear’. Next to it there is an old battery (which my husband tells me off for using because he correctly thinks the rechargeable ones are much more environmental, he knows his stuff) and a small electric candle that shimmers when I put it on. The candle is reassuring, albeit it is not a real one. I can’t stop the temptation of being cynical about world advancements. I think I am missing the poets of Grasmere, the guys that would say no to developments and preserve grass fields so that we could do the job of the poets, writers, politicians, film-makers, recovering androids, whatever. Who wouldn’t like to be the good android on the cards of human history? One that gives the air back to people.

I like Beatrix Potter a lot but this inviting expression ‘I hope you will like it, my dear’ is not necessarily what I need right now given that in the last 7 years I put on weight over 30 kilograms of precious mass mostly because I changed my lifestyle a lot and moved my bottom into a car seat fed up with pushing the pram. I haven’t made reasonable adjustments taking into account the needs of the body and the needs of bossy kids. At some stage I also worked in a very challenging school witnessing a lot of misbehaviour and violence at times. I remember I was so stressed after work that I would stop in front of Tesco, buy a huge pack of Pringles and I would eat it all in one sitting in a car even before I entered the house. My stress levels at the time where beyond what I could handle even after having completed a course in Stress Management and I was working with a former football coach and someone who trained in boxing. The unpredictability of violence – this I could not stomach and neither could he.

My health collapsed then and I saw that there are limits to every training and every theory and every good intention. I wasn’t the right person for those kids, but who was? Do they ultimately need to see for themselves that they are going in a wrong direction?

That said, I think there is some ridiculousness about the way we judge kids, about the way we name what we are doing. For example, back there at the school, the long lessons for kids with difficulties in attention were changed into 20 minute tasks and then a break, but then you read any guide on good lecturing and this is exactly what it recommends, for anyone who attends a lecture to keep the students engaged, so how come one measure is labelled as students engagement and the other one as a strategy to manage disruptive behaviour. Ultimately, it is the same thing and a brain to feed at regular intervals. Wouldn’t business leaders call it the Pomodoro technique? Is it possible that we are all unruly kids with a tendency for violent behaviour if we are kept in cages for too long, be it the cage of boredom, deprivation or permanent interference?

I thought I was on a staircase to heaven back then, trying to handle as many social issues as I possibly could tackle at the time and now I am more conscious of looking for steps that could really make a difference. I am limited in scope.

That said, when we try to stay on that staircase and we put our foot on a wrong step and our leg is sinking, does it do it to get burnt or to heal? Are there any other substances in material science that do not have the same effect on the body as concrete? Mud baths, perhaps? Sometimes the step is this. The mud bath that puts our feet in recovery. That heals the legs to make things safer.

The radio reported this morning of the Pope’s operation and that it was successful and he is recovering. Illnesses are dissatisfying companions, that perhaps remind us that we should be taking our wishes into account while we are still living and breathing. {By the way, if you are working in an office, have you also noticed that the word ‘operations’ is one of the triggers for your colleagues and employees and yet we use it for our admin offices. An anxiety trigger that perhaps is worth noticing when things get a bit stuck at work.}

I think that’s it from me today. Just remember to keep on cuddling your kids, those inner ones and those nearby. Love to all, A.

And my prayer for today.

God, with clenched teeth I rest today.

May I remain silent about how much I love you or fear you. Just in case…

The voice cruises towards you…

I can feel it too.

But you are on your own timeline.

Thank God.

By for now,

Alicja Pyszka-Franceschini

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Thank you for your response. ✨

A wiser choice to make

A wiser choice to make

I travelled to my country of origin for a funeral. A family member died.

An ice-cube formed inside me and there is no one to argue with about this turn of events.

And the screaming about it also feels wrong at this stage.

But I feel I need to talk about it as otherwise my internal timeline or calendar will start ripping and I would have gaps in memory rather than the lived experience so let me talk about it in a manner that is as shallow and as deep as I possibly can at this stage.

I do not want to have memory losses.

I want to own my timeline.

So let me speak…

Ironically, my daughter is sitting right next to me right now and is watching You Tube shorts on endangered animals. These losses we can still prevent.

I flew from Birmingham to Warsaw Modlin in Poland. A friend accommodated me, gave me a warm meal and a warm breakfast, took me to a florist in the morning and dropped me to the little village near Warsaw where the funeral took place and where my family was waiting.

The night before the funeral I wrote a message to the President of Warsaw enumerating all the good things my auntie and her husband did for the city of Warsaw hoping that a bench with a plaque on with their surname would never make her and her husband vanish from memory and then I deleted the message remembering that my aunty liked being a private person, so she would probably not appreciate me butting in in that way. She liked the Moon more than park benches and I do not quite know how to honour her interest in it yet.

Grief hardly ever makes us holy. We know that. It pulls our teeth out making us restless and faithless as denial wraps around a belief like a frost around an unsealed shoe. It is trying to be pally where honesty would be more appropriate: I have taken from you your beloved and I am not willing to return them to you in any other form than a chain of complex emotions that you would need to learn to handle by not acknowledging that you do have a heart.

Life is giving me a workshop in distress tolerance.

Cheers.

Thank you.

It seems to be my staple at the moment.

My kid had altercation with another student on a bus. Now, I am taking him to school in the morning. The daily early morning car chat is what we both need, it seems to me. The teenage world is not easy to enter or navigate. I feel at times I do not have the necessary graces to guide my son through it.

I decided to be a friend to myself though and I signed up for a short online course in Creative Writing run by Falmouth University. It is delivered by Jamie Popowich and I feel very supported by his delivery and demeanor so far. I like his energy. I know that this is me being a good friend to myself and I also know that being a very good friend would mean doing filming or cinematography course too but I have not figured out the way forward with this yet. Things are not getting any cheaper year by year and I am not getting any younger so I figured that it is the right time for me to cover that gap in learning. I did my first degree in English, Spanish and American Studies but I always felt very deprived of the creative writing edge that would come with Creative Writing degree.

But maybe everything gives us an edge. Just the fact of being on the edge of our own life experiences makes our edge uniquely edgy.

Turning sour now.

Too much salt.

It’s been a week too hard to handle, in all honesty. And I wish I could cry but my left eye duct is blocked so even that in not possible now.

I’m turning sour now, where caring would be a wiser choice to make.

Stay or move in grace.

Lots of love, A.

Below Grief and Anger, drawn by me.

What do you choose? A self-aware writer.

What is your primary sense?

What do you choose to do?

Do you choose to see?

Do you choose to hear?

Do you choose to taste?

Or do you choose to touch?

Do you choose to smell?

Do you choose to use your sixth sense, i.e. use your intuition?

What verbs are hardly ever present in your personal language?

Do you choose to know?

Or do you choose to inquire?

Do you choose to compare?

Do you choose to remind yourself of something?

Do you choose to be embraced?

As a writer, what are you more likely to note down: a fungus disease, a rough stone or a maturing fruit?

What are you sensitive to?

Senses are our privileges and our occlusions.

And what does speed do to them?

Note to self from 2015, as relevant now as back then. :)

Why do we do what we do?

Cloud formations

forever stretched by paper

cloudy

imprecise

care without a blank space

is neither supreme nor wise

Text and photographs: Alicja Pyszka-Franceschini, 2026

Welcome back after holiday, Darlings. How was your Summer?

Postcards from Whitby

Have a restful Summer holiday, dear Readers. I’ll be back in two weeks time. x Alicja

Images by Alicja Pyszka-Franceschini, 2026. Without an explicit permission of the author nothing can be done with them. x

To get in touch, please leave a comment under the post. All comments are reviewed by me first before they are made public. Thank you. x

Photographing children without showing their faces

I promised you a while ago a post with examples of photographs in which I do not show my children’s face or I partially hide it. Many parents prefer not to show their children’s faces and yet they would like to somewhat embrace that part of their life and publicly be happy with it. Here are a few examples of photographs that you can take if this is your preference. They are fairly self-explanatory. All photos taken below are of my family.

Example 1

Parental embrace.

Example 2

Obstructed by water.

Example 3

Head down with a hat that hides the face.

Example 4

Low light reading.

Example 5

Hiding in laundry baskets, laundry bags. Make sure that the face is low enough. In this photo my son’s face shows a little bit.

Example 6

‘Show me your hands!’ type of photo. This could be with a dough or play dough or paint whatever your child is playing with at the given moment.

Example 7

Show a landscape feature not your child. Make the child look away from the camera.

Example 8

Teenager in action at sea. The shoes always fly away there…

Example 9

Give them a funny hat to wear.

Example 10

You can hide them in one of those… This one was taken at Heights of Abraham, Matlock Bath, Derbyshire.

Example 11

Create silhouettes with a visible object in hand.

Example 12

Put yourself with a child into a shadowy corner the background is lit.

Example 13

Create close-ups while being on the side of your child.

Example 14

Take a photo in an outfit

Example 15

Run with her barefoot on grass.

Example 16

Create a layered image that uses a rule of third. Hide your child’s face partially in the middle or in the corners of the layers.

Example 17

Observe what you are giving to them and photograph the exchange.

Example 18

Help them engage in sensory play or simply playing with Lego Duplo and allow them to stay focused while you take a few snaps close to the window.

Example 19

Visit a nearby farm, perhaps.

Here are my Dad’s beehives that he created for himself to be busy with during his retirement. My daughter is not allergic to bee products and it was safe to be there for her. The beehives are quite far away from her. The purple of the flowers, i.e. the meadow, creates a lovely composition. Also, her simple hairstyle is an attractive feature in the photo.

Enjoy playing and having fun together.

I am a little tired today to be honest as my daughter has had shingles over the last 10 days and she has just returned to school. We did a lot of reading together though. We read through all hard cover books we had available in the house I think. I will tell you more about it in the next post with some of my reflections on children and photography.

I am looking forward to seeing your images. Which one are you hoping to take?

Have a regenerating weekend.

Speak soon.

Ordinary technological cosy homelife

‘Mum, when I was smaller I was so happy playing with my brother but then the computer came and everything changed.’ My daughter complained at the dinner table.

Complaint noted. It takes time and effort to redress issues and create healthy love patterns, doesn’t it? The modern mum is a facilitator of those patterns and a pioneer too as she deals with issues unknown to her own mother and so there are no recipe books on this yet. How well do you think we are all doing here in this regard? Where could we find solutions?

Walking is probably the most natural facilitator for conversations and being together. I’d like to do a series of photographic posts on the importance of walking for the individual and for family life but then I am afraid that the series will finish like this (see the photo below) and I will not address the problem by blogging about it. :) I often wonder what problems can we realistically solve by blogging about them and I am not trying to criticize myself for blogging. This I think would be somewhat cruel to the part in me that likes to reach out to people in that manner but a lonely writer in an AI world feels more and more abandoned and threatened by the things that technology grabs from them without perceived and/or real returns.

I’ll leave the topic open as I feel the discussion is endless.

Till next time. x

Dissolving

If you have found a bottle, what message would be inside?

What do you need to read right now?

Text and photos: Alicja Pyszka-Franceschini

How did you manage to have a boy and a girl? Is it worth knowing this?

Unfortunately, I never learnt to play the guitar. Neither did my son. He chose hockey instead. Lots of people ask me how did we go about having a boy and a girl and in all honesty we did not leave it entirely to chance. Instead I read this book and applied the knowledge and this is how it was handled. The book is called Taking Charge of Your Fertility and it is written by Toni Weschler. I bought it via Amazon but I read the one with this Taking Charge of Your Fertility (Used) | Toni Weschler | 9780060881900 | Awesome Books. I know this is an unusual post but I also know that there is a lot of pain that surrounds the topic so I hope the pain can be eased or a solution found here.

Maybe it is a message worth spreading.

But of course, I cannot guarantee the results.

Love to all,

Alicja

Fragile strengths

I regularly write in response to something; be it a song, a paragraph in a book or any other text.

Last Sunday, a priest from Ukraine sent me his sermon to listen to via WhatsApp. I had an immediate response to his work and I wrote this almost immediately after listening to his words.

I thought it is worth sharing it with you and I would be thrilled if you could write your feedback on this piece both in terms of your emotional response as well as my writing craft.

Were you also inspired by sermons in your childhood? It is a huge step into psychological integration when we absorb the wisdoms of our religions, I think.

Here’s the text:

I assume today that you need to hear that you are capable of mature reflection, that it’s good to long for reason and normality, that it’s good to give yourself a little oxygen.

I assume today that you haven’t sinned.

That you came here today to free yourself for a moment from the burdens of the day.

Welcome then. I’m glad you came, I’m glad to see you.

Don’t lose yourself in guilt. Understand the weight of your decisions, but don’t lose yourself in guilt.

I assume today that you have not sinned.

Let the pain in your limbs fade. You are here. I appreciate you.

Do not lose yourself in guilt.

That’s it. I hope this helps. x

Text and photography: Alicja Pyszka-Franceschini, 2026. All rights reserved.

More than a line. But I guess there is an improvement.

My daughter is seven now. She makes us laugh with her honest observations.

”Mum, when I run at the highest speed at the treadmill, my socks come off.”

My son is nearly 14. His school is on strike tomorrow and after tomorrow so we’ll have some time together organizing the garden.

I came to some very honest realisations today which kind of scared me somewhat but perhaps my life is meant to be a cautionary tale and maybe at times we ought to be those. So in the spirit of care for us all, I thought I will point it out the glitch in internal software that we all might carry.

My self-realisations are as follows:

I resolve the problem of having a career by not having it.

I resolve the problem of writing a book by not writing it.

I resolve the problem of ………. by not doing it.

This attitude is of course not visible in all my life choices and developmental areas but I do have it in some areas and where I have it, it shows.

That said..

I think that good mental health starts from first principle: ‘Deny nothing.’ As soon as we start denying knowing or feeling something (be it our need, our experience, our want, our achivements, our loves, our strengths), our psyche misaligns. I think it’s good to hear oneself.

Hear yourself.

Lots of love, A.

One line. One life improvement. On insomnia.

I resolved my problem of falling to sleep by reading books written with a dense and super small font.

Could this help you too?

An image that helps me breathe

It might be a bit counter-intuitive to share a photo of a frosty landscape here in the middle of Spring in the northern hemisphere, but I have been wanting to write about it for a while now primarily because it is in my opinion one of the images that allows the viewers to breathe. I took it near Repton, in South Derbyshire on a frosty morning during a week when the local river flooded and the fields were glistening with water reflections. The bended trees are interesting features of the landscape and it appeals to me how they are strongly supported by the ground and its unshakable structure. My support towards these kind of images come from the fact that they repeat the relief experience whenever one looks at the image and associate it with a welcome break. Being brought up in Poland, I find frost refreshing and altering and seeing this image again and again helps me refresh and also regain alertness. Is it the same for you?

Image and text: Alicja Pyszka-Franceschini

Do you have any photographs in your surroundings that do the same to you? That help you breathe?

Whitby Landscape in Photographs

Photographing landscape is not always easy. To take some of the shots above I was slipping on the rocks, sliding on the seaweed. I was terrified about my backbone as these rocks are pretty solid, I can assure you. But then I giggled with the kids too. I was as wobbly on those rocks as the kids’ teeth that they had lost a few days before our stay. The seagulls were not pestering us as much as they normally would in the Summer. The town was quiet. We bought some thermal clothing (the underlayers) for the kids so that they could enjoy outdoor in colder weather. They did. And our holiday improved from that point onwards and opportunities for photographic adventures too. I hope you are finding time to rest. Have a good and warm Sunday, Alicja x

Unreal

We’ve been living a strange life recently.  

That of escapism to some extent. 

Where everything is real but in fact unreal for me. 

The online world is amazing but only as far as it actually sees you. But it rarely does. It sees the outputs of our work, perhaps, our ingenuities, but it doesn’t look one in the eye or take our child from our hands when the arms are exhausted from holding them.  I have been a bit grumpy lately, as you probably sense from this post, I feel that to some extent I embody my own grandmother who at times would talk to herself while going to the cellar to fetch some jars and would complain about the state of the world or about all the wrong decisions that according to her one of us had taken.  She would complain about the jars too, that they stand too high and she cannot reach them. Or that we move too quickly or eat too quickly and she cannot keep up.  She wanted to keep up but she couldn’t.  I cannot keep up either. I wonder what she complains about nowadays? Wherever she is now. Maybe she doesn’t complain at all. Maybe up there she rides a bike.  :)

I wonder though at times what would enable us to keep up, or perhaps it is really insane at times to demand from people that they would be enabled. Feels wrong at times, doesn’t it?

Or are we just resisting change?

They

When angels sing, they love better.

Photo and Thought: Alicja Pyszka-Franceschini

Colour combinations

It’s been around Easter when we played around with my daughter with painting plates, melting bee’s wax and dropping shadows on different textures. We enjoyed it all and making different arrangements with different colour combinations. It was a playful and joyful time together.

I feel my internal batteries are a bit discharged today as the week days were long and intense but I hope you will find the photographs energizing and inspiring. Can you spot a bunny in the last photo?

Till next time.

Have a nice weekend!

Alicja

Photos and text: Alicja Pyszka-Franceschini

Light and Day

To forgive is to be sharp.

Alicja Pyszka-Franceschini

Breaking something might reveal what’s behind it. Light unobstructed by matter.

-Alicja Pyszka-Franceschini

Photographs and thoughts: Alicja Pyszka-Franceschini, 2025

Motivational poem

When poetry was moved

Through windows unknown to self

I sat with you

To break it through

The gossip

You told me that life was hard

You told me that it feels weak

When the pavement was as solid as a stone

And the floor neatly cleaned

And the sadness poured through dust

Collected by a vacuum cleaner

And revealed grace as strong as a believer

In the past that just had enough

And the future that held treasure

of golden pencils

fired through time.

Keep going.

x

Poem and photography: Alicja Pyszka-Franceschini, 2025. All rights reserved.

A developing thought

Receiving Presents: Does It Matter What’s Inside?

Ash Wednesday: Reflections


Photo: ‘Tissue’ by Alicja Pyszka-Franceschini, 2024.

There is a famous painting by Andrea Mantegna called by many as The Dead Christ (see here). It is a striking picture. It shows Christ’s body laid down on a bed after the crucifixion. The painting uses foreshortened perspective as a compositional technique.

Christ’s body appears shorter than it really was. It is squashed almost to an unnatural size. Both of his palms are curved and fingers bent like claws. His pain is noticeable although He does not feel pain any more. The foreshortening of perspective is aching to foreshortened life, of course. I have no doubt about that. However, there is an aura to the painting of something forgotten too. Of someone lacking foresight or full sight. The painter did not have it. Neither do we as spectators. From Christ’s body posture, though, we infer that he was as much in psychological pain as he was physically suffering. Would his posture be different if he took less blame? Was Jesus tormented to mercy*? How did He experience this torment? And why on Earth did He do it?

On one level or another Jesus knew that making his soul of steel, would be ill-advised. 

Making our souls of steel
is ill-advised.

Jesus, it seems to me, was after nonconstructive criticism. He focused on stupidity, biased and prejudiced thinking. He sought out the injustices done to him and others through others. 

As we seek those done to us
and by ourselves less so

But why has Jesus gone through the hurt-optimization procedure? I can guess that it would be to build up his capacity for something. Could it have been forgiveness?

It sounds insane, doesn’t it?

*I read the phrase ‘a torment of mercy’ in one of the books by Adam Philips, I think it was On Getting Better. I apologize to the author for a lack of appropriate reference.

The post is a short version of a draft of an essay in progress by Alicja Pyszka-Franceschini, 2024-2025. All rights reserved. Copying without an written approval of the author prohibited.

Gratitude for rest against all odds

Our car of 15 years showed three flashing lights on the dashboard while we travelled to Whitby last Sunday. It displayed them during Summer too when we were driving to Poland from the UK. We got it repaired but the same problem showed. ‘We’ll give it a rest when we get to Whitby. It will cool down and we’ll be able to drive back.’ my husband said. His prediction was right. We returned home safely. One thing to be rather grateful for today.

We travelled to Whitby for air. To feel the sand between our fingers and water on our feet. And to eat fish, of course, an irreplaceable custom of every food lover. We headed towards the beach when we saw a crowd of people returning towards the car park. We seemed to be the only family that walked in the opposite direction. ‘Was everything fine?’ I wondered examining the opened restaurants, stalls, coffee shops and calmly floating boats and yachts. The surrounding was reassuring and the lobsters and crabs painted on restaurant walls seemed to nudge us towards the beach. Who wouldn’t like to see where the crabs live after all?

We rushed to get at least an hour of the golden light at the beach. We passed the crab-fishing family, a man inviting us for a sea trip, new marine centre and just before we reached the beach we had to pause to urgently drop 50p coins into a designated place for overstretched bladders. A relief worth paying for. :)

We collected ourselves and all the 6 bags that we had with us for all the eventualities of the beach life. Just before the stairs we stopped at the viewing platform to see the sea and the beach but the beach was not there to be seen. The frothy waves were licking the sea walls and all the way to the cliff. A spring high tide took over the whole beach. Disappointment was hard to swallow and yet there we were exposed to the sea air, energised by the colours of the sky, caressed by the breeze. Enough to be grateful for. Not to mention the ice-cream and the dinner and a chat with a fisherman… but more on this at a different time.

Take cake. x

Alicja

The purpose of the past/ Cel przeszłości

Photograph: Alicja Pyszka-Franceschini, 2025

Is it possible to improve in life without being grateful for the past and what it taught us? Could we make progress in life without seeing the positives in our personal journeys? Could we be artistic, creative, productive if we do not appreciate what we have or what has passed? If we are angry that the flowers have died, could we appreciate their textures, their patterns, their beauty highlighted by time? They were. They existed. They contributed. If we decide to engage with the past or the passing of time in a creative manner, the effect is usually gratifying. Could it be otherwise?

Czy można poprawić sobie życie bez odczuwania wdzięczności za przeszłość i za to czego nas nauczyła? Czy możemy robić postępy w życiu, nie dostrzegając pozytywów w naszych osobistych podróżach? Czy możemy być artystyczni, kreatywni, produktywni, jeśli nie doceniamy tego, co mamy lub tego, co minęło? Jeśli jesteśmy źli, że kwiaty umarły, czy możemy docenić ich faktury, ich wzory, ich piękno podkreślone przez czas? Były. Istniły. Przyczyniły się do piękna. Jeśli zdecydujemy się na twórcze zajęcie się przeszłością lub wpływem przemijania, efekt będzie zazwyczaj satysfakcjonujący. Czy by mogło być inaczej?

About a boy who could not feel happiness

Once upon a time, there was a boy who could not feel happiness when other people were joyful. He always responded with a minimizing commentary or disapproving face. He saw others smiling, chatting, playing and appreciating a warm cup of tea and a free biscuit on a table but he could not reciprocate. with a smile. His eyes were always stern, lip corners dropped, body posture irritated. ‘How can they be so happy?’ he was wondering all the time. ‘How can they be so happy when so little is done?’

He was very puzzled but fortunately quite capable of self-reflection too.

‘Am I envious of joy?’ He thought to himself appealing to his inner wisdom but could not satisfy himself with an honest answer.

Tired from his own thoughts and worries, he went to a nearby park where an elderly lady was sitting on a bench feeding birds with seeds. She was smiling and talking to the birds. She was happy. The boy got irritated again. ‘How can she be happy just like that? Feeding birds?’ And then he got curious as he recognized the feeling. ‘Miss, could I feed the birds with you?’ he asked.

‘Of course.’ She answered passing him a bag of seeds. He started smiling but then as soon as he felt his own smile he got irritated with himself for smiling.

‘Miss, why am I angry with myself for smiling.’

‘I think it is something to do with your inner mirrors. It is because of your adult inner mirrors.’

‘Are they broken?’

‘Did you notice?’

Story and photography: Alicja Pyszka-Franceschini, 2025. Copying without the explicit permission from the author is not permitted.


			


	



			
				


	

		
Thankful Time/ Wdzięczny Czas (English/Polish Post)

			


	

		








In smart work there is less joy than in a game of tag
and time is running out
for children and adults alike
into the hustle and bustle of memories.

Who caught whom?
No one asks about the tag
But everyone writes a report
On the questions they asked
And answers they received
Only relevant to self
It seems

But to receive an answer
Is to make a promise of gratitude.

No one knows
Few understand 

Has the person who asked got lost earlier?
Or did they ask in time?
To be grateful?
Or to be done?
Choose.
– Alicja Pyszka-Franceschini















Additional good read for this week:





This article has caught my attention this week. Very interesting read. This is the Key to Achieving ‘Time Affluence’ (click to read). 










Poem and photography by Alicja Pyszka-Franceschini, 2025. Copying without an explicit and written permission from the author is not allowed.










Po Polsku







W mądrej pracy jest mniej radości niż w grze w berka,
a dzieciom i dorosłym czas ucieka tak samo 
w zgiełk wspomnień.

Kto kogo złapał? Nikt nie pyta,
Ale każdy pisze raport
Z pytań, które zadał
I odpowiedzi, które otrzymał.
Dotyczących tylko siebie 
Wydawać by się mogło.
Ale otrzymać odpowiedź
To złożyć obietnicę wdzięczności.

Nikt nie wie.
Niewielu rozumie.

Czy osoba, która zapytała, zgubiła się wcześniej? 
Czy zapytała w porę?

Być wdzięcznym?
Czy po prostu mieć wszystko zrobione?
Wybierz.





Wiersz Alicji Pyszki-Franceschini, 2025.







Ten artykuł przykuł moją uwagę w tym tygodniu. Bardzo interesujący!





Artykuł w magazynie Forbes zatytułowany “To jest klucz do osiągnięcia ‘Bogactwa Czasu'” (kliknij w link tutaj) 





Do następnego razu. x





Material Copyrighted by Alicja Pyszka-Franceschini, 2025. Copying without an explicit and written permission from the author is not allowed.






			


	



			
				


	

		
What are photographs for?

			


	

		





























Do you remember the song by Ed Sheeran called Photograph? The official music video consists of photographs and video cuts. These are from his early childhood and his early music career. I love the simplicity of it all and the sheer joy of watching a growing child, his first steps, his running around and the shrieks of a toddler finding his voice. It is so moving. The decor of his family’s house that is sealed in time. The hands of the family members that carefully assist him in making his first steps, in music or drawing, busking and then all the Happy Birthday’s sung together to celebrate the child. Call me sentimental, but that song makes me cry. It is all moving and all beautiful. I am very inspired by the song and the video. It inspires me to rediscover my own family archive. These are the good times.





Photos taken in Derby (UK), in Poland and in Derby Museum and Art Gallery. 





Link to Ed Sheeran’s Song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nSDgHBxUbVQ





All images: Alicja Pyszka-Franceschini. All rights reserved.






			


	



			
				


	

		
Thankful Tuesday: The days we live for./ Wdzięczny wtorek. Dni, dla których żyjemy. (Bilingual English-Polish post)

		
	

		


	

		











Hello Dear Reader,

How have you been lately? 

It's somewhat hectic here. We have children's activities, paperwork, house maintenance projects, broken mobiles, travels, birthday parties and attempts at reviving our personal archives and histories. Everyday life has kept us on our toes and it is not a bad thing. This week I asked my six year old daughter what she is grateful for. Appreciation strengthens children's minds as much as it strengthens ours. She eagerly listed several things. She mentioned dinner time and that she is thankful for Wednesdays, Thursdays, Saturdays, and Sundays. She also appreciates PE and a friend who makes her laugh.

She elaborated that she is grateful for Wednesdays because a funny lady comes to her class. She makes them laugh. They do pretend play and practice dancing with YouTube at school. She likes Thursdays because there is a drama club. She can move and sing a lot. For Saturdays, because there is a Polish school. She plays with her friend there and she likes her a lot. She is happy about Sundays because there is a mass for children at the church. There is tea and coffee afterwards. She can run around and play with many different children. In short, she is happy with her childhood and enjoys acting and friends.

 It had always been my dream to start a multilingual theater. I even started making small attempts at it. But lockdown happened and plans and preoccupations changed. That said, every so often, I captured our attempts at pretend play and we had a lot of fun. The children were delighted. I am so happy I captured some of those moments.

Back to the drama, isn't it satisfying to express yourself by playing a person with a different culture or character, to go a little beyond the comfort of your own psyche? To live many lives using different languages, accents and body movements? To understand problems that do not belong to us and to feel the joy of the achievements for which other people have trained? 

And then to love our Wednesdays, Thursdays, Saturday and Sundays... and be grateful for them just a bit more than for our Mondays. What could we do to repair their reputation? Surely, a lot of good happens on those days too. 

And Fridays, she kept quiet about them. I wonder why?

What's in your busy schedule that you are grateful for right now? 

Text and Photography:  Alicja Pyszka-Franceschini, 2025. 

Copying or reproducing the material without the explicit permission from the author is prohibited. 


Polish Translation

Witaj Drogi Czytelniku,

Jak się ostatnio miewasz? 

U nas jest trochę gorączkowo. Mamy zajęcia dla dzieci, papierkową robotę, projekty związane z utrzymaniem domu, podróże, urodziny, zepsute telefony komórkowe i próby ożywienia naszych osobistych archiwów i historii. Codzienność trzyma nas w napięciu, co nie jest wcale takie złe. W tym tygodniu zapytałam moją sześcioletnią córkę za co jest wdzięczna. Docenianie wzmacnia umysły dzieci tak samo, jak nasze. Skwapliwie wymieniła kilka rzeczy. Wspomniała o porze obiadowej i o tym, że jest wdzięczna za środy, czwartki, soboty i niedziele. Ceni sobie też WF i przyjaciela, który ją rozśmiesza.

Wyjaśniła, że jest wdzięczna za środy, ponieważ do jej klasy przychodzi zabawna pani. Rozśmiesza ich. Udają, bawią się i ćwiczą taniec z YouTube w szkole. Lubi czwartki, bo ma kółko teatralne. Potrafi się dużo ruszać i śpiewać. Za soboty, bo jest polska szkoła. Bawi się tam ze swoją koleżanką i bardzo ją lubi. Cieszy się z niedziel, bo w kościele jest msza dla dzieci. Potem jest herbata i kawa. Potrafi biegać i bawić się z wieloma różnymi dziećmi. W skrócie, cieszy się dzieciństwem, a najbardziej wszelkimi próbami teatralnymi i przyjaciółmi.

Zawsze marzyłam o założeniu wielojęzycznego teatru i zaczęłam nawet podejmować małe próby, ale nastąpił lockdown i mi również plany i zainteresowania się zmieniły. Bawiła się z dziećmi czasem w teatr w domu, kiedy były mniejsze i podczas lockdownu. Dzieci były zachwycone. Tak się cieszę, gdy myślę o tych momentach, że ich kilka złapałam.

Wracając do dramatu, czyż nie jest satysfakcjonujące móc wyrazić siebie grając osobę o innej kulturze lub innym charakterze, troszeczkę wyjść poza komfort własnej psychiki? Przeżyć wiele żyć, posługując się różnymi językami, akcentami i ruchami ciała? Zrozumieć problemy, które do nas nie należą, i poczuć radość z osiągnięć, do których trenowali inni ludzie. A potem pokochać nasze środy, czwartki, soboty i niedziele... i być za nie wdzięcznym trochę bardziej niż za poniedziałki. A tak swoją drogą, to co możemy zrobić, aby poprawić im reputację? Z pewnością w tych dniach też dzieje się wiele dobrego. 

Co dzieje się w Twoim napiętym harmonogramie, za co jesteś teraz wdzięczny? 

Tekst i zdjęcia: Alicja Pyszka-Franceschini, 2025

















			


	



			
				


	

		
Take me beyond forgiveness / Zabierz mnie poza przebaczenie (bilingual English-Polish post)

		
	

		


	

		














Take me beyond forgiveness
.





POEM







Take me beyond forgiveness
Where love ends all quarrels
And gratitude replenishes hands
Tired of work
For nothing
So it seems…

Take me beyond forgiveness
Where I understand the concept
of a nutrient
without doubting its worth or value
and I clean
and I eat
wisdom for breakfast
and love for dinner.
With you.







QUESTION TO PONDER





If you were to take yourself beyond forgiveness, where would you take yourself?





Who is ‘you’ for you?





What would be on your wisdom plate?















Acknowledgment: I first saw poetry combined with questions in the book 21 Spotkań. These questions lead to individual insight. Click here to see. It was written by Maciej Bennewicz and Katarzyna Zaremba. Both psychologists create poetic dialogues and work with metaphors that aid individual growth and self-understanding. The more humble I become, the more I grow in the appreciation of this approach. 





May is a mental health awareness month and I would like to strengthen us all using my talents today in a similar manner. I learnt yesterday that a friend of mine died being only 48. She loved travelling and this blog too. I wish I had still a chance to eat a dinner with her. Travel. Keep on living.  x





By engaging in this exercise you are practising these mental skills:





    

  • self-compassion
    • 




  • self-awareness
    • 




  • inner peace.
    • 






So if you were to take yourself beyond forgiveness, where would you take yourself?





Enjoy it. 





POLISH TRANSLATION










WIERSZ







Zabierz mnie poza przebaczenie
Gdzie miłość kończy wszelkie kłótnie
A wdzięczność wypełnia dłonie
Zmęczone pracą
Za darmo
Na to wygląda…





Zabierz mnie poza przebaczenie
Gdzie rozumiem pojęcie
składnika odżywczego
nie wątpiąc w jego znaczenie i wartość
I już teraz sprzątam
i jem
Mądrość na śniadanie
i miłość do obiadu.
Z Tobą.







PYTANIE DO ROZWAŻENIA





Gdybyś miał/miała zabrać siebie poza przebaczenie, dokąd zabrałabyś siebie?





Co by było dla Ciebie mądrością na śniadanie?





Z kim jadłabyś obiad?





Podziękowanie: Po raz pierwszy zetknęłam się z poezją połączoną z pytaniami w książce “21 spotkań”. Te pytania prowadzą do wglądu we właną sprawczość. Kliknij tutaj, aby zopoznać się z książką. Autorami tekstu są Maciej Bennewicz i Katarzyna Zaremba. Obaj psychologowie tworzą poetyckie dialogi i pracują z metaforami, które pomagają w indywidualnym rozwoju i zrozumieniu siebie. Bardzo doceniam to podejście. 





Maj jest miesiącem zwiększania świadomości na temat zdrowia psychicznego i chciałbym nas wszystkich wzmocnić, używając moich talentów w podobny sposób. Wczoraj dowiedziałem się, że moja przyjaciółka zmarła mając zaledwie 48 lat. Uwielbiała podróże i ten blog. Chciałbym mieć jeszcze szansę zjeść z nią obiad lub kolację. ”Podróżujcie. Żyjcie dalej.” powiedziałaby dziś. x





Angażując się w to ćwiczenie, ćwiczysz poniższe umiejętności:





    

  • współczucie dla siebie
    • 




  • samoświadomość
    • 




  • wewnętrzny spokój.
    • 






Warto?





Więc: Gdybyś miał/miała zabrać siebie poza przebaczenie, dokąd zabrałabyś siebie?

			


	



			
				


	

		
Abstract from ice (modified and updated)

			


	

		











































































Once upon a time we had a rabbit. The rabbit died over a year ago just on New Year’s Eve. We took the rabbit tray outside, it was in our garden collecting rain water and algae. It was a big cage, capacious. When the big freeze came over the last week all that water with algae froze creating interesting patterns and compositions. I chopped the ice with an old bread tin. It was also filled with heavy ice. Our son lifted it off the tray. He placed it next to his knee to show how tall and thick it was, impressive in size. I photographed the blocks of ice while they were still floating among the icy water and when son was holding the ice. 







The algae surrounded them. I then post-processed the photos in Lightroom. My favourite abstract composition is below.
















I wonder what you think of it all?





Let me know.





x





And yesterday while walking, I met this little being. I think its eye is in the abstract. 










Writing and photography: Alicja Pyszka-Franceschini, 2025, Home Studio, Derby, UK. Outdoor photo taken in Willington, South Derbyshire. 





Updated 16.01.2025. 

			


	



			
				


	

		
Thankful

			


	

		



























I’ve got an impression that last winter my mother was making this soup every three days for our children. Her grandson was competing with himself to see how many bowls he could comfortably consume. We all looked at him in disbelief, wondering where that quantity was disappearing. Surely, he was not spoon-feeding the dogs under the table. He loved it. Everyone else did too. They gladly returned from the cold and sat in front of a steaming bowl and each bowl came with a piece of popular Polish bread showered with flax seeds. Yummy. 





Do you cook? What do you like making?






The knitted cloth that the soup is placed on is actually a scarf made by my aunt. It is so warm, you won’t believe. Shoulders wear it gracefully indebted to my aunt for many hours of her work. I was comforted by the softness of the scarf. The warmth of the soup also brought reassurance. I am grateful that my mum and aunt keep their skills fresh and that they continuously make an effort. It is mesmerizing to see how things emerge in other people’s hands. As if from nowhere…












Creativity blossomed in our house over the weekend. Icy weather gave us many opportunities to refresh and revive our spirit and gave us hope for a good and creative year. I hope you are feeling equally energized.












The photos of the soup were taken last year in Poland. The photo of my children was taken in Melbourne (UK) at Woodhouse Farm. Many thanks to Brian Woodhouse for allowing me to take photos on his farm and fields.





Below is a photo from my parents’ place in Poland. 










*Corrected draft.
















			


	



			
				


	

		
Front yard fairy-tales. Manifesting joy.

		
	

		


	

		





















Hi beautiful souls,





 How was your day? What you’ve been up to lately? I so rarely hear from you but you often hear from me. It would nice to hear from you. Who you are? Where you living now? What has awakened your heart recently? I am sending you a few photographs of our fairytale wonderland yard. They are still performing well against the darkness of the world. Making neighbours smile or wonder why they are still there. Wouldn’t it be lovely to get all our front yards’ decorations and place them all in our local park to make a magical fairytale land out of this world? Can you imagine children’s faces and all the wows exhaled with joys of laughter and fingers pointed: ‘Look at this!’ ‘Look at that?’ Maybe neighbours and local community centres would be up for it?





Sash Milne from Inked in Colour believed in the power of human connection and community. She planted a strong seed. Thank you for making the difference through your voice and writing, Sash. We can be resilient independently and we can be even more resilient together. Yes, we can.





And I was also thinking…





🙂





Sometimes magic is not readily available to everyone. Sometimes children cannot walk through the city or even ride through the city for various reasons. Sometimes it is because they have to stay at the hospital. And I think that they need magic too, so on the 24 December, trying to observe Polish tradition of having one more place at the table for a stranger I thought that no stranger would come really (they hardly ever come), but I thought to myself that I can be a stranger who makes someone feel better. And I think you can too. If you would like to.. so I wonder if you would like to manifest some hope and joy.. I have something in confidence to share or rather a recipe for joy to share. Good deeds are embarrassing to share but then The Gita for Children taught me this year that goodness leads to intelligence and it leads to knowledge. So perhaps you would like to do it too?





I bought these lovely aurora LED lights (click here to see) and I grabbed my second-hand copy of the book 100 Reasons to Hope. True stories of everyday heros (here) and I took them to our local hospital for the children on the inpatient ward to enjoy together with the nurses, doctors and other members of staff that were working during Christmas. The children’s team play coordinator was so moved. I felt I did the right thing and I’m feeling I am doing the right thing now too to share it with you. Maybe you would like to do the same for the children at your local hospital? Or others. Talk to your family and friends about it. Maybe they would like to do it together.





 We have these lights at home too and we use them with my children of they are overly anxious or struggle to come down before going to sleep. 





A bit of magic is so necessary when reality is too much to handle. Isn’t it? 





Have a lovely week. X























			


	



			
				


	

		
Gratitude for ice

		
	

		


	

		
















It’s hard to see this. This amount of flooding and the road closure. It is easy to become overwhelmed. After all, we see Earth in a trauma response. With a compromised immunity system. When we cross Earth’s boundaries, Earth crosses ours. You feel this too? And yet Earth never stops being generous. Giving beyond the easily discernible. It tells us to look harder, better. Beyond the ‘road closure’ sign. There is art to be grateful for. 

Two pieces of work abstracted from ice. Mostly created on this road.

















Willington, Derbyshire, UK.

Work of Alicja Pyszka-Franceschini, 2025.










Oh, by the way, I updated 





my photo art portfolio. You can see it here: https://a-credible-dreamer.co.uk/





I have one more post to share soon. Expect a new arrival on Sunday.





I hope you are really taking care of yourself. Make use of the refreshing icy weather if you’re based in this hemisphere. And do what makes you happier and stronger. Speak soon. x

			


	



			
				


	

		
But then, on the other hand…

		
	

		


	

		






But then, on the other hand…





written over a few days during Christmas





We are all at home today doing jigsaw puzzles, listening to this relaxing music for children and experiencing some magic on the screen. It gives the room a warming atmosphere and it gives a festive touch to the living room bringing the fairy tale land inside the house.





‘Look mum, what I’ve done?’ our 5 year old said feeling a bit better today albeit still quite feverish. She took clear tape and wrapped it around a piece of card. ‘Look mum, I have a wiping board now.’ We practise writing and drawing on it and it was brilliant. Yesterday, she took a hoop and danced with it around the room to piano music, fluey but determined that ‘bed rotting’ is not what she would succumb to. Have you heard about it? In essence, it involves idling around in bed with food around watching videos, flicking through the phone or watching TV series and it is an increasingly common form of rest. Not necessarily the most helpful to our nervous systems long-term but it’s easy to understand the allure of it. (You can read about it here. The article is in Polish but Google can translate it for you.) The term itself, however, seems to me like a good blocker to excessive indolence. I hope our 12 year-old will embrace it in his lingo.





There is a pink silicone pig walking on our floor right now.





‘What do you like most?’ I asked my 5 year old.





‘Mum and pizza’.





‘And if you had to give up Mum or pizza, what would you give up?’





‘Play. I would give up play.’





Children are smart. Their instincts rule. They rely on their parents for survival and they rely on food for survival and when faced with a dilemma, they will most likely give up what brings them joy. And I guess that is why there is a pink silicone pig walking on our floor right now.





It’s funny. It’s loud and it has the biggest and the most loving eyes, I’ve ever seen. It makes us laugh a lot by being a keynote speaker at the dining table designed to revitalize our instinctual goofiness. We become as silly as it is by imitating, of course. You just cannot help it, can you? The pig honks, you honk. And so it goes.





What made you laugh this Christmas?





I wouldn’t have got the pig years ago when I was doing the Nothing New project or years later, but now I give in, perhaps too often, in order to remain sane and find internal balance between different societal requirements, personal values and competing ideologies that surround our thinking. I justify the not-so-environmental purchasing choices by ‘wanting to get to know my daughter’ but perhaps it is not the best justification or rationalization to have. Surely, there are hundreds of other ways to get to know her. But maybe it is also the way?





Have you ever watched The Fiddler on the Roof? The main character, Tevye the Dairyman is often torn between choices and decisions to make, mostly whether to allow each of his daughters to marry who they want or not. His internal dialogues are characterised by the phrase ‘but then on the other hand…’ He keeps on weighing the pros and cons of every choice and decision giving in either to the pressures of the outside world or his own feelings about the situation. He calculates. The rights, the wrongs, the benefits and potential losses. Don’t we feel similar today with all the array of choices that we have to make about our ways forward in life and our children’s wellbeing. We want to make a difference in their lives and for their futures and then we are like Tevye… ‘But then on the other hand…’





But then… the reminders or signposting of what is right for them come from our own children.





‘What should I do with my wedding shoes?’ ‘Should we give them away?’





‘Mum, could you keep it for me and then my daughter can have them after me. This would be nice.’





Children don’t always want to discard what we have. They don’t always want to have new things. They often appreciate things and what they appreciate they want to last.





What does that tell us of the power of gratitude?

			


	



			
				


	

		
Merry Christmas. Gratitude from a trail.

		
	

		


	

		

































25. 12. 2024





Can you imagine our joy when we discovered a Brussels sprouts field and a flock of pheasants on our walk? Neither of them expected or planned. They felt like rewards for venturing beyond the comfort and warmth of the house when it was so tempting to be inside to make it all perfect for Christmas. We did not plan to make it all perfect for Christmas. We planned to go through it with good and steady pace that would render us less fragile and susceptible to germs in winter and would give us time and space for progressive clean-up. Haven’t quite succeeded at that as the younger one managed to catch a cold that has just developed into a 38.5 fever but we’re trying so I commend us for trying.





Back to the joy related to the Brussels sprouts field. I was thrilled. The kids even more. I felt someone was reminding us where the Christmas food was coming from and feeling both an awe and gratitude for those that must have worked very hard for these small green balls to appear on our table was a very natural response to have. All of a sudden the connection between what we eat and what is grown around us became very clear to the children. It was great to see it.





We walked a trail that we took years ago on a Mother’s Day but we took a slightly different route this time – one that guarantees an enormous amount of psychological space. I appreciate this so much. This feeling of being unobstructed by buildings, houses, objects, cars or people is life-giving. Our thoughts and anxieties need to be processed somewhere and when we travel through spaces like this one, they seem to be swimming away into a distance and it’s easier to detach.





I think I cannot live without vast spaces and open landscapes. The breathing spaces. That trail years ago was my treat and it remains so. With new routes discovered as we follow the children’s instincts and wishes. They discover paths, we agree to follow and in return we discover new vistas. It is a very fair arrangement. Well… as long as we don’t get lost and there is a safe path of return…





As for the pheasants, aren’t they mesmerizing? Always a joy to see one passing across a road, let alone to see a flock of them landing on a grass patch next to not-even-slightly bewildered sheep. You end up being twice surprised. First, with the number of pheasants appearing at once, a second time with the calmness of the resting sheep. ‘Haven’t you noticed what I have just noticed?’ You almost want to nudge them to get curious, to little or no avail.





Wherever you are, I hope you are relaxing now and if you fancy a bit of magic in your living room, to cater to children around you or your inner child, I recommend this magical relaxation video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=reRSAx2gwDA To bring the fairytale land inside your home or wherever you are right now.





Thank you, Dear Readers, for visiting Postcards Without Stamps. My gratitude today if for your presence and love of reading. I hope that every page you read will contribute to your greater well-being and you will accumulate strength, resilience and joy.





Merry Christmas.





Alicja





Photos taken at Tissington Trail, Derbyshire, UK.

			


	



			
				


	

		
Unobstructed

		
	

		


	

		























Sometimes as is… 





is not as we please and yet it’s telling…





of choices made





and graces turned into prizes





for next generations…










They will be braver





after all. 










Their hands will make homes for ants





And hearts will choose to dance.





Voices will shout, scream, sing or converse





Just as they please…





With wisdom





And ease.










They will be braver 





after all…





to choose what’s right





to wear vintage





or have their own style





unobstructed by a lack of self-knowledge





and understanding





unprovoked by grief





survival





or jealousy 





supported by well thought-out arguments





of their intuitive elbows





and noise-cancellation headphones.





Ready to hear





themselves. 





And choose their purpose…







Photographs and poem Alicja Pyszka-Franceschini, 2024








			


	



			
				


	

		
Gratitude, frustrating renewals and an obstinate dwarf

		
	

		


	

		











Two tiny colourful dwarfs are proudly standing on our front yard at the moment bringing, I hope, happy smiles to delivery men that seem to be stopping on our street more often this week than usually. I wonder why… Children feel happier when they come back from school – the dwarfs make up for a lack of a dog to some small extent. They do not wag any tails, but they have funny hats and welcoming expressions and it is of course always nicer to return to a fairyland rather than to a grey and sad looking front garden full of sticks. That said, even the sticks, when they hold some lights, they change purpose. They seem to be designed for charm rather than hibernation. I think there is even a device that uses this re-purposing function of a stick. I think this device is called a magic wand.





Last week was filled with school performances, studying and end-of-year reflections and cleaning and sorting (I am still at it). We got so frustrated with the state of the house that we decided to stay at home over Christmas to finish our small-renovations and to restore the state of the house to a hospitable condition. It might be not the most glamorous way of spending the Christmas holiday but to be honest I could not bare the thought of going somewhere for rest, just to return to a house that is in a constant state of disarray. It has been like this for a bit too long for us and we must face the dreaded renovation before 2025 pops in for a longer stay. Interestingly, if you look for synonyms to the word renovation, you are likely to get such words as ‘redevelopment’, ‘improvement’, ‘renewal’, ‘restoration’ which are actually quite positive in sound and are fitting well into the theme of the new year. They are not quite close enough to the ‘new me’ type of concept, but perhaps a bit more true to reality since what we refresh or improve has already got its life and a beating heart. All that it needs is some work and attention. What do you feel would make your renewal possible during these coming weeks?





Last week I attended a supervision meeting with Maciej Bennewicz Institute of Cognitive Studies. There is always a sense of relief after discussing serious matters and dilemmas with others so I am very grateful today to the Institute for giving us the opportunity to discuss what we are troubled by and for taking very seriously the cognitive and relational dilemmas that professionals have. The Institute is well-known in Poland for its unique focus on Psychology of Subjective Experience as well as cognitive sciences and social psychology and provides support and guidance to coaches, tutors, mentors and psychologists. Back at home my mum worked as a social worker and she never had this type of support and I think her life would have been much easier if it was a staple at the time. I hope, Dear Reader, that you now have this type of support if you need it, wherever you are. This aside, Maciej Bennewicz practices a daily habit of posting a reflection or story online. He shares it on Facebook or in his publications. These posts are koans. Their structure and purpose derive from a Chinese tradition. They aim to open the door to a different way of seeing a situation. The story might seem illogical or paradoxical in some way. You can read his stories here. I always like this type of thought-provoking writing and I thought I would modestly attempt my own short-story here but on the theme of gratitude (somewhat inspired by the dwarfs on my lawn too) that might perhaps be more helpful to you than my own personal list of gratitudes. It would be lovely to write quite a few of those and to turn them into a book too. It seems like a worthy aim. :)





Forest Loops





Once upon a time there was a little boy who went to the forest to collect berries. He walked for over 3 miles, reached the woodland and searched everywhere for the berries but he could not find them. He left the forest upset and angry with the forest that it bore no berries. He only walked for a mile when a woodland dwarf stopped him and asked him why he was so upset. He explained that he went to the forest but found no berries and was upset that the whole journey was wasted. The woodland dwarf told him to go back to the forest and take the same walk again. The boy hesitantly did as he was told, walked through the forest and as he predicted he found no berries. He left the forest even more upset. When he met the dwarf on his way back, he complained loudly and angrily to him. The dwarf again instructed him to go back to the forest and take the same route. The boy although upset did as he was told and walked the same route for the third time. He found no berries and with anger headed home. The dwarf waited for him in the same spot and did not allow him to walk away. The boy exploded with anger and shouted at the dwarf to which the dwarf simply pointed to the forest and told him to walk there again. The boy being thoroughly upset entered the forest again. ‘There are no berries here!’ ‘There are no berries here!’ ‘There are no berries here!’ he kept on shouting and the echo was reiterating what he had already known. The boy sat down on a stone disappointed and angry and looked around. He saw some mushrooms glistening under a birch tree. He picked them and put them in his basket. Then he walked further and found more mushrooms, and then some more and kept on picking them until his basket was full. Then he noticed golden coloured leaves that would make a good crown for his sister’s school performance and filled his pockets with them and when he was walking further he saw a fallen tree and thought that the he will take a few branches for firewood. Equipped with woodland graces, he ventured home worried that he would meet the dwarf again. The dwarf was there waiting for the boy, looked at him and smiled broadly seeing the boy with the basket full of mushrooms, pockets filled with leaves and wooden branches on his back. ‘Now, you are ready to go back home’ the dwarf told him. The boy looked at the dwarf surprised and went back home.










Both photographs taken at The Birches, Ambergate, Derbyshire, UK.





Images and photographs copyrighted by Alicja Pyszka-Franceschini, 2024. 








			


	



			
				


	

		
When ego bursts…

		
	

		


	

		






(...)
When ego bursts
It makes space
For the other...

Alicja Pyszka-Franceschini, Autumn 2024

From the anthology On Immaturity (not yet published) by Alicja Pyszka-Franceschini
Photograph: Alicja Pyszka-Franceschini, Ambergate, The Birches, Derbyshire, UK

			


	



			
				


	

		
Thankful Tuesday on Wednesday

		
	

		


	

		






I suspect you’ve been extremely busy this week, getting yourself ready for Christmas and making plans for days to come, completing tasks that had to be done. 





Life has been hectic for us too in the last few days and Tuesday disappeared under specialist appointments, quick drop-ins to friends, school matters and joint learning. 





I have, therefore, only a humble gratitude point to share this week. I am thankful today for good moments that we spontaneously initiate.





The photo below was taken at a farm nearby.  I will forever remember my son cheekily running after a pheasant that proudly strolled around the field and my frustration that I couldn’t stop him (my son, not the pheasant). Young, energetic, stubborn. As most of them are at that age, I think.





The photo above was taken during a solo walk around our local woodland, Stanhope Woods, near Trent and Mersey Canal, Stenson, Derbyshire. I thought that I’ll share this with you before winter replaces autumnal decor with its frosty brush strokes.





So today I am thankful for spontaneous ventures that turn into memories captured and revived in photographs.





What is on your gratitude list today?






			


	



			
				


	

		
Conscious-consumerism is a legitimate state of mind.

		
	

		


	

		















Is it only me or have you also noticed that we are buying less than in the past two years in the UK? Of course, inflation has a lot to do with it. The realistic capacities of our rooms and houses also play a role and, I guess, our self-control has vastly increased too. I have an impression that we shop differently now. That said, when you add something to your shopping basket, what do you like to add? When I was a kid we used to love when my auntie was coming back home from her shopping trips. We loved to see what she bought for herself and her kids. It was a shared delight, of sorts. But now these type of conversations have gained a different flavour to them and consumerism is not as straight-forward as it was in the past, but we do like talking about it so, prompted by a recent debate on BBC Radio Derby, I thought that I will ask you if you impulse-buy a lot and how you go about it?





From observing myself, my children and people around me, I noticed that impulse-buying rarely translates to over-buying everything. It is usually the same type of item that lands in our shopping carts and often that item is simply something that we find of value but also something that we get ourselves anxious about, be it health, education or cleanness, entertainment, or belonging. Anxiety can have a strong grip over us and does manifest itself in sudden weight-losses in our wallets. Sometimes, don’t get me wrong, it is so worth it. We invest in a better quality of life, a peace of mind and a sense of shared experience. We also invest in a smoother flow to our days. But when the impulses become another problem to solve, we feel that they no longer work in our favour.





But how about if we think that actually the impulses are working in our favour? That there is something that they are trying to say to us that we have to notice. Maybe that you are already this thing that you have bought over the years. That you are already healthier, cleaner, more educated, funnier, greener than several years ago. Keeping our confidence stable about ourselves and knowing that we are surrounded with people who notice our growth is I guess what could quite successfully reduce our propensity for impulse-buying. It would keep us in a good mental space.





Should we agree then that next time we shop, we notice our inner needs first and our growth?





Conscious-consumerism is a legitimate state of mind. :)










This post was promoted by a discussion on BBC Radio Derby that happened a few weeks ago. It seems like a relevant topic to tackle before Christmas. 






			


	



			
				


	

		
Postcards from Diwali (Part 2) Giving thanks for our multicultural Midlands

		
	

		


	

		



At the Hindu Temple Geeta Bhawan n Derby










On the 31st of October, we celebrated in Derby the festival of light, Diwali alongside other festivities and the hype of Halloween. It can seem a bit strange that I am writing about this on Thanksgiving Day but on the other hand I feel it is most appropriate because in fact we rarely give thanks to each other for permissions to see and participate in the lives of our diverse communities. When we start to socialise into the routines of communities other than our own, we spot differences but at the same the common needs and burdens as well as the efforts to make us feel welcomed and included. This is a lot to be thankful for.





When years ago I started a doctorate (and never completed) at MOSAIC at the University of Birmingham in Multilingulism with the use of autoethnography as a research method, I was learning how to write about oneself as placed in a multicultural British landscape and in an eclectic family. The task was confusing and insurmountable at times and for a long time I could not pin down where the difficulties were coming from. Until of course I understood… One was coming from a commonly held belief that talking about oneself is not the done thing, let alone to research oneself in the context of multiple cultures… this seems even more odd. Anyhow, my doctorate collapsed during the Covid-19 pandemic under the pressure of ill health, two small home-educated kids, my husband’s increased workload (no, he was not on furlough) and my need for creative rest that I am still very much a supporter of. That said, although my doctorate collapsed, the need to engage in local communities remains strong.





On the surface looking into the culture of a different community seems like having nothing in common with doing research into oneself, except when the holy scripture of that group teaches you a lot about self-intelligence and its importance for life well lived. The Gita actually uses the term ‘self-intelligence’ in its writing legitimizing self-knowledge, discipline and broader awareness of values that govern us and our choices. Indeed, who would we become without our ability to self-reflect and observe.





In the book Natural Law & Natural Rights, John Finnis lists 7 basic goods of human life necessary for our well-being. Among them, he lists: 1) life (itself with health, safety and self-preservation), 2) knowledge, 3) play, 4) aesthetic experience, 5) sociability (friendship), 6) practical reasonableness and 7) religion which of course concerns itself with love, the importance of truth, goodness, transcendence and the boundaries of human freedom. These common goods order and create what we call ‘quality of life’ and determine our overall satisfaction of life. Thus, part of learning about each other and our cultures is to see how we go about those values and common goods in our cultural groups and settings.





So here are a few postcards from Diwali as observed in Geeta Bhawan in Derby. For this post, I asked two mums to whom I chatted about the Gita, Radhe and Sarbjit, to explain to me who and what I saw at the Temple. They replied on WhatsApp.







Who are the gods/ deities here?





Radhe answered: ‘Shiva (with Trident) Parvati Devi (also known as Durga). In her arms Ganesha.





That peacock is standing besides Radha and Krishna’ 




















“Abode of Krishna is called VrindaVan (Forest of Tulsi plants – one type of basil) 





So eternally Krishna lives in a forest..residents of VrindaVan possess pure love for Krishna.





So in eternal vrindavan Krishna z devotees are in the eternally in the form of trees, parrots, peacocks, cows, cowherd boys, cowherd girls. Their forms are based on how they want to love Krishna…that will be a long discussion 





Anyways, the story goes once Krishna was playing on his flute and has invited the animals of VrindaVan for a dance. Peacocks were dancing very gracefully. Soon Krishna joined their dance, looking at Krishna dancing peacocks started marveling his dancing.





Then the peacocks offered their best possession to Krishna, peacock feather. Krishna accepted their offering and honored it by always wearing peacock feather on his head.





In the middle, if I see correctly is Gopal – baby form of Krishna. Krishna reciprocates to the desires of his devotees. Many devotees want to love him as their own child so they worship him as Baby Gopal.





We worship deities by offering them clothes, food, jewellery.





So the deities are dressed in different colours the day you visited the dress happened to be of purple colour. Their is no particular significance of purple colour.





Next time if you ever choose to go you may see them in a different colour.





Traditionally on full moon day deities are offered a white dress.





On ekadashi (one day from the lunar calendar) offered a red dress.





By offering service to deity form of the Lord one can get purified of sinful desires. Sometimes people offer such service as an expression of gratitude.”

































“Food has an significant impact on our consciousness. In Bhagvad Gita you may have studied about Sattvik, Rajasik, Tamasik.





We offer Sattvik food to the Krishna. When he accepts that offering it becomes Prasadam (which means Grace/mercy)





Prasadam will purify our consciousness.





That fruit was Prasadam. (…)





You visited the Temple on Diwali day, on Diwali people worship Lakshmi Devi and ask for prosperity.





[In the framed photo] is Lakshmi Devi, goddess of wealth.”



















I also asked Sarbjit who visits the temple to tell me about a senior person who was distributing fruit towards the end of the prayer as I did not know who he was. Sarbjit replied, “If that man was wearing different clothes, then it was a Pandit. Otherwise, he could be a sevadar (volunteer).” During the worship people walk around the alter and worship each god separately after that they receive a piece of fruit, just before they leave the temple. The man very humbly told me that he is not a scholar in the study of religion and that there was someone else there who could have done it if I was there a lot earlier. But what he said, was that the most important thing is to remember that the gods/ the deities are indestructible and that what we as human beings cannot correct, they will do it for us. They will correct all the wrongs. This message I found to be most comforting. I hope you do too.





Happy Thanksgiving. May the light of Diwali keep on shining on us. 





Thank you to Nikhila and Karthik for agreeing to be featured in the photographs for this blog post. Additional gratitude goes to Radhe and Sarbjit who supported me with their understanding of the customs here. Thank you very much. 





Any comments and corrections more than welcome. :) Thank you all.





The text I referred to in the article is:





Finnis, J. (2011) Natural Law and Natural Rights. Oxford University Press: Oxford. 















			


	



			
				


	

		
Thankful Tuesday: The National Tree Week and Writing a Novel

		
	

		


	

		



























How have you been lately? We are in the National Tree Week in the UK right now and it seems utterly wrong to me not to acknowledge it. In the simplest of terms possible, trees keep us going, don’t they? To them and because of them. Sometimes it is their depth that invites us, other times it’s their shadow. Kind enough to overlook our mischief, tender enough to sense our sadness, generous enough to handle our joys. We return energized after reconnecting with their and our essence. We become ourselves and I guess that British English informal saying ‘To be out of one’s tree’ (meaning to behave somewhat crazy) is to a large extent an indicator of our reliance on trees for long-lasting sanity. It is a shared feeling, isn’t it?





Well.. to give trees and our connection to them a just thought and an appreciative stance, I wrote a few verses for this week and read a few pages of The Power of Trees by Peter Wohlleben to get myself into the topic. It is one of my favourite texts on trees and a consistent inspiration for me as the novel that I am writing is primarily based in an ancient woodland. Alfred Wainwright, a British walker, illustrator and the author of A Pictorial Guide to the Lakeland Fells, gave himself 13 years, if I remember correctly, to finish his guides, I haven’t given myself that much time but my novel finds it hard to become a coherent piece. Nonetheless, I plan to finish it by the end of July 2026. It is a labour of love and I would like it to stay so. Are there any texts among your favourites that speak of trees and forests?





After I wrote the post about The Gita for Children by Roopa Pai, a few amazing things happened. One event led to me receiving the original Gita by post from someone. We were also invited to a lecture on the differences between Christ and Krishna (photos soon). I embraced it all because sometimes The Essence wants to come to us through multiple channels. I know that the Gita takes nature seriously and I am very curious of its approach to it. After all, our spiritual lives are one of our primary influences in shaping our ecopsychologies and our mindsets for scarcity or abundance, gratitude or non-recognition. 










Hello you, Tree.
Make us See.
That without you,
The course of life
Forgets to breathe
And goes wrong ways.

Through the dungeons of politics
As dense as a carved slice of fog
Placed in a jar of uncast votes
That suffocate the future.

The tree, oh comfort and respite. 
 
It stays potent and flexibly solid
With its roots extending to neighbouring hills
and branches simultaneously strong and tender
protected by years of genetic experience
against the utterly predictable
forces of chaos.

The tree sways 
and it is its strength.

Chaos reigns
Itself out of recognition.
And it is its catastrophe.

The tree makes only one promise.
To grow 
It gives you oxygen
In partial compensation
for space taken.
As if it had to…

Furniture, instruments, books, crayons, utensils
Firewood, bird-nests, frames and sledges
are the givens 
within but in fact beyond expectations.
This is how the tree excels
Even after death. 










If you like being inspired by woodland photography, see Nigel Danson’s Gallery for woodland and landscape photography. The gallery feels like a gentle massage for the mind and I can assure you it will be one of those moments of giving oneself some caring love to look through Nigel’s photos. They are great pieces of art. Enjoy them. 





And let me know, how you are, will you?





The photos were taken in The Birches, Ambergate, Derbyshire as well as in our local park in Derby. 

			


	



			
				


	

		
Thankful Tuesday: Being flamboyant about my gratitudes

		
	

		


	

		















Irrespective if you are someone flamboyant about your gratitudes or modest in expressing them, Tuesdays seem to be the right day to create a list of blessings and positive experiences. To ward off the anxieties that might be resurfacing midweek and to keep our mind calm and to make our heart palpitate gladly.





The Life with The Crew started The Thankful Tuesdays. I want to cultivate this blogging custom. I believe it serves us all well. Do you want to join in?





Here I go with mine. Today I am grateful for:





– the snow, the snow, the snow… that did not melt too quickly and the fox that appeared in our garden just after midday





– my friend’s successful knee operation and his quick recovery and our chat over a cup of coffee and his sharing of insights and wisdom from life





– for a very considerate friend who dropped Castor oil at my doorstep to improve blood circulation in the shoulders





– a husband who made a lovely Mediterranean style lentil dish with leek and green pumpkin and parsley (on the blog soon)





– translators who translate children’s stories and allow us to move between languages but within the same storytelling sphere: Room on the Broom by Julia Donaldson, La Strega Rosella – translated by the incredbly skilled Laura Pelaschiar,  and the Polish version entitled ‘Miejsce na Miotle’ by translated by the excellent Michał Rusinek





– Jodie Wilson from Practising Simplicity for encouraging Yoga as a gentle exercise for busy lives, very useful for frozen shoulders too and any problems with posture that result from attached monkeys to our hips (be it kids or cameras) and also for her indirect encouragement to contact blog readers





– for Adam Phillips’ book On Getting Better and his ability to put into words what we tend to hide from ourselves, i.e. that our transferences and regressions intensify with our resistance :)





– for our daughter who said today that she wants to do her homework on her own and allowed me to load the dishwasher in the meantime





– for the recent Outdoor Photography Magazine and the glorious portfolio review by Massimo Leotardi and their reminder that we are soon going into a National Tree Week that is uniting all the tree lovers in the UK (see treecouncil.org.uk). This is one of our favourite magazines at home and we like to have a conversation over the photographs in the morning either by exiling tensions over the landscape photographs or by giggling and wowing over aquatic creatures or mice hiding in a hollow apple





– our morning routine that has just greatly improved due to a managerial trick, i.e. a checklist with all that needs to be taken to schools. Seriously, we need it. Our working memory is only capable of remembering six items at once. Everything else is an excess. We also use a simple linguistic change of words. Instead of saying ‘Speed up’, we say ‘Focus on buttoning up your shirt’, etc. So we focus on the actual activity that we want the children to complete and use the verb ‘focus on’. In that way, the morning routine is smoother for all of us and we have nicer starts to the day.





– for a glorious Journey Through Time and Light event at Crich Tramway Village that has put us in a festive mood and brought a huge anticipation of joy for the coming Christmas season





– for finding ways of preparing our son for his weekly Polish dictation tests at his Saturday School.. gosh this was a hard nut to crack..





What would you put on your list?





























At Crich Tramway Village, A Journey Through Time and Light, Derbyshire, 2024




















			


	



			
				


	

		
A question for you

		
	

		


	

		



Nothing New: Final reflections on my attempts at buying nothing new for almost a year







Hi there,





I am sharing with you a blog post. I wrote it years ago while writing about living simply for a year.





I hope you don’t mind me asking if you are still interested in this topic? Also, would you like me to continue writing about living simply? I have departed quite a lot from the topic over the years. Since you are still subscribing, I wonder what you would like to read about? What has initially triggered your interest in Postcards Without Stamps? I definitely need to return to living simply. 





What do you like reading about?





I am so eager to hear you answers. Can’t wait..





x





Alicja

			


	



			
				


	

		
Sweet postcards from Diwali (Part 1)

		
	

		


	

		






























































































































We are very lucky in Derby to be surrounded with cultures. I often feel that we timidly coexist while in fact inside we are almost bursting with curiosity and a wish to get to know each other and to join in with each other’s customs at least in some manner.





The Gita for Children by Roopa Pai has planted a strong seed in me. On that Halloween day, I felt a desire. I wanted to see Diwali celebrated for at least a few minutes. After all, it does not happen often enough when the two coincide.





This was a very short and spontaneous visit to a nearby shop. I got stuck in traffic on my way to our local Polish shop to buy a few things for our trip to the Lake District. While waiting in the car, I looked at the shop on the right. I felt instantaneously comforted. In the darkness that enveloped us, their lights were lit. People were joyfully chatting and pointing to the colourful sweets. They were about to take them home and share with their families. The atmosphere was festive and very inviting. I just finished trick-or-treating around our neighbourhood with my little ones. One was dressed as a black cat, the other as a ghost. I was pleased to see how many people celebrated both or all. There was an All Saints Day happening in our Catholic religion a day after.





This is the world we live in. I often sing this to myself while I’m trying to give myself the right to experience and celebrate our city’s diversity and the inherent beauty in what we can produce: in food, language, customs, lifestyles and endeavours. Living in Derby can be in so many ways like travelling the world…





So above is a short photos essay from our local vegetarian Indian take-away and a sweet centre – Krishna Sweet Centre in Derby. The owner has kindly agreed for me to photograph his shop. It features clothing and traditional diyas – the candle and oil holders. They are adorned with traditional patterns. The shop also displays dresses and hair ornaments. He directed me to the Hindu temple Geeta Bhawan. There, I saw the fireworks while the stars were shining. I was reminded that Krishna is the god that plays the flute. I saw the offerings and rang a bell in the temple. I asked very politely to be guided around the praying custom. Everyone was so kind.





More on this in the next post.






			


	



			
				


	

		
REMEMBRANCE DAY: May We Live Gracefully

		
	

		


	

		




















REMEMBRANCE DAY





***





May we live gracefully





May we live with hope





That the world will calm down





That the remorse will show





For the beauty undone





For the lives lost





May we live gracefully





They have already borne the cost





When the soldiers did decide





That the fight was necessary





They didn’t predict their loses





They didn’t predict their merit





The trauma of the past needs its cooling time





Time to close the wounds





Time to heal





With the whispers of the soul





And the kisses sent to those who died





Thank you for making us survive





Thank you for the future reassured





For the coziness of my own room





You allowed me to be calm





You allowed me to be kind





Turn the war into a fight





For the rights of peace





For the rights to the calm





So that the nerves are soothed





And the will finds its new direction





This wouldn’t have happened without your sacrifice





Without your protection





May we now live gracefully





May we now live with calm





Let the soldiers sleep





Let them now have their time





Let us rock them 





So that they feel embraced





They were dying on their own





Their bodies were not held





Let us rock their souls to sleep at least





So they can finally rest in peace.





Poem by Alicja Pyszka-Franceschini

			


	



			
				


	

		
A walk with The Gita for Children by Roopa Pai

		
	

		


	

		















If you’ve got a child aged 12 or around, you would most likely have enough data on their likes and interests and you would probably see that some subjects always prick their ears and they like discussing them. Among football, biology, history and Minecraft, religious studies are my son’s favourite. He is very keen on learning and discussing different religious wisdoms, beliefs, traditions, and customs. When I was sent The Gita for Children by Roopa Pai by IBBY  (International Board of Books for Young People) two years ago, I was thrilled. I knew that we could have a good time together.





The Gita for Children written by Roopa Pai and it is an introduction to The Gita, the sacred scripture of the Hindus. The book has a very intriguing purple, golden and dark blue cover and beautifully drafted drawings inside by Sayan Mukherjee and the elements of script that I could not recognize or comprehend. The elements of script used in the book are shlokas, otherwise understood as stanzas of Bhaghavad Gita.





Two years ago the book however was a bit too dense and difficult for our son to delve into with my help and on his own, but as we know, children mature and their mind’s abstract conceptual maps grow with them and what was a bit early to access two years ago, may find fertile ground in a boy who has just started his secondary school and is mature enough to admit: ‘Mum, I need your guidance. I need a lot of it.’ Now, this is a terrifying request for most of us, adults, these days as we seem to be navigating without a compass through the obstacles and challenges of our era, unsure which ways lead to greater good and less internal turmoil. If you read the backside cover of The Gita for Children, you are already presented with some answers, as the publisher, Swift, chose the following extract from the book:





‘The truth is, Partha,’ Krishna said, ‘there is no “better” path. Both paths – the path of knowledge and the path of action – work just as well. It is up to you to pick the one that you are suited to.”





This permission to choose a path encourages you to read on and learn more about The Gita and delve into this introduction to the sacred scripture of the Hindus and to slow down a bit to learn and reflect on wisdoms that we are surrounded with but we do not access. I took Roopa Pai’s book for a walk in Derby around our local canal to breathe in its wisdom with fresh air and I thought I’ll share with you here some of my favourite quotes as they may speak to you too.










“… the soul goes to that which the mind has been thinking about in its last moments.” p. 118



















“ God does not belong to the privileged. (…)





All He needs is love.”










“Think of me as infinite space, the space around and above me below you – the grand theatre of the suns and the stars and the might wind; which holds the seed of everything in the Universe” p.132





“I do not favour one being over another; they are all the same to me…”














“Go(o)d will find a way.” p.65



















“From goodness is born knowledge, and the fruit of the action is joy; from passion arises greed, and the fruit of passionate action is pain; from dullness arises negligent and wrong action, and its fruit is ignorance.” p. 194










I hope you enjoyed the walk with The Gita.





P.S.1. As if by chance ‘gita’ in Italian means ‘a walk’  while the holy scripture ‘Gita’ means ‘a song’. 





P.S.2. For all those who love to walk, this walk started at Stenson Marina in Derby, walk towards Willington Marina (to the right while facing the canal). 





(in the next post I will share with you some photographs from the celebration of Diwali that took place in Derby. It does not happen too often when Diwali is celebrated on the same day as Halloween and a day before the Catholic celebration of All Saints (in Poland also knows as the Day of the Deceased when we place candles and wreathes on our ancestor’s graves and reminisce about them).











































			


	



			
				


	

		
Part 3: Sink or swim in a crumble (on photographing food in a small kitchen with frozen shoulders and busy kids around).

		
	

		


	

		















If you mention a crumble to a Polish person, they would most likely very instinctively say that in Poland we have something quite similar but it is called ‘drożdżówka’ and it is actually a yeast-based cake that we often make with plumbs (or other fruit) when summer fades away and autumn takes charge of the table.





‘Drożdżówka’ has been always the treat that came out of my aunty’s oven every Sunday after the eleven o’clock mass that our priest always struggled to conclude. Hands were getting colder, legs were getting restless and as our stomachs were rapidly shrinking in size, our souls were working out their patience. Nourished with the Word of God, we either ran to our car or rushed to the pavements in hope for a piece of cake and a warming cup of hot coffee at my aunty’s place. ‘Niech Będzie Pochwalony Jezus Chrystus’ (May Lord Jesus Christ be Praised) was what used to be boldly exclaimed entering her kitchen. ‘Na wieki wieków, Amen’ (Now and ever shall be) was the reply. Interestingly, I observe, these words are slowly exiting our Polish culture as I hear us often saying ‘I’m back’ instead of the customary Christian greeting. I like the Christian greeting and it seems to me that our Sunday ritual is not entirely completed without those words. Ethnographers tend to notice these shifts in language patterns quite quickly just as they would note changes in how cakes are made. ‘Drożdżowka’ has changed and evolved in those Polish houses everywhere where the dietary requirements kicked in or other preferences are taking over, like losing weight, for instance.





The English crumble, I feel, is what is replacing this cake in families such as ours where gluten and egg whites, cow’s milk are off the menu and yeast should be avoided. Now, of course, there are hundred of ways in which crumble can be made and eaten. The one that I photographed here was made with apples and pears, honey (from my dad’s beehives), cinnamon, gluten free flour, coconut flour and coconut oil. I must admit I feel a bit like Willy Wonka by showing you photos of a dessert for a second-week in a row and I worry that the police will come and fetch me for introducing sweets to the city, but I am sure that you understand it very well that it is all done in the good faith of preserving childhood dreams and mother’s sanity as photographing it and writing it all up in a small kitchen with two frozen shoulders is not a small effort. ;)





So last week I had these questions in mind/ obstacles while photographing:





– how to photograph the food when the kids want to eat it straight away





– how to photograph left overs or food partially eaten in a manner that is acceptable to the eye but at the same to preserve the sense of realism





– how to make use of the sink

































Essentially, I had this problem that we ate too much of it and too quickly but in all honesty waiting is difficult with hungry kids and all that you can do is to ask them to leave at least some for later or spoon some out before serving to preserve it for the photo (which comes in handy even a day after when you come back home from a cold walk and crave for some warming food). The crumble was lovely, but it resembled more of a pie than a crumble, I guess, because there was quite a lot of the dough. The dish was fairly flat, made of porcelain, rectangular and white. The very first thing that I thought of was that there would need to be a separation between the white colour of the dish and the white of the sink for a clearer composition so I decided to put it on a decoupaged beige tray that a differnt aunt of mine gave me a few years ago. I placed the dish with the tray in the sink for some photos to see what the effect would be with the white frame around the decoupaged try but in the end I like the one that sat higher on the edge of the sink as it gave me more depth to the background. The bits stuck to the side of the crumble pie dish were visible and quite unsightly so I decided to colour match the custard with a small towel and I placed it on the right side of the dish to cover the crumbs. That was done for the close-up. For a broader view, I looked for an additional item in the kitchen that again would somewhat decorate the food and take attention away from the fact that it was gluttonously devoured. I had this elegant chipped little coffee cup that I thought would take the attention and I placed it on a few wooden trays to give it prominence and posture. To complete the picture I used Contrastly autumn calm filters to give it it a calming and relaxing mood and feel – I wanted to evoke a feeling of calm after storm, one that you experience once the children are asleep and guests have gone home, and you are just on your own cleaning the kitchen. I included here also a backstage photo with my ring light for you to see how I positioned the light. I was taking the photos while standing on the left, just behind the ring light. On the backstage photo, the cup’s hand is directed at you. This is a compositional mistake. I remember a long time ago, I attended a course on children photography with Elena Shumilova and I couldn’t understand why one of the photos that I took of my daughter was compositionally worse than other ones. In that photo my daughter was sitting sideways and her elbow was somewhat lifted. Elena explained to me that it looked as if she was elbowing the viewer’s eye and in a way this is exactly what this cup appears to do in this backstage photo. It looks as if it was trying to elbow you so it is not the desired and the intended composition for a pleasing shot. Just the backstage photo. :)










Back to the topic of crumbles, last Sunday we visited Bradgate Park in Leicestershire and we stopped at the Coach&Horses for Sunday meal before the walk. Their crumble was a much healthier version to ours, I feel, as it had I think almost a triple the amount of fruit and it had less flour. As a result, theirs was a less fatty option to choose from. Avoid ours. But give photography at least an afterthought… :)





What have you been making recently?





Till now.





Alicja





P.S. I found heat patches to be very useful in easing my pain in the shoulders while I lift the camera up and while I hold it. I am using these ones at moment: Deep Relief Heat Patches. They might be useful to you too.






			


	



			
				


	

		
A breather

		
	

		


	

		




















Have a breathable and spacious weekend, Dear Reader. :) x Alicja

			


	



			
				


	

		
Receiving Presents: Does It Matter What’s Inside?

		
	

		


	

		

A wrapped present


Reminder


A father once gave his child a beautifully wrapped box. It was red and gold with a large ribbon. The father said to the child, ‘Before you can open it, let’s imagine what might be inside’.


To start with the box contained only simple objects, but as they stared and wondered, the child’s imagination grew and the box started filling up with various fantastical ideas: a troupe of dancing fairies, a musical box containing a full orchestra of mice, a pair of magic shoes that makes you walk on clouds, a toy train full of chattering teddy bears, a miniature garden full of tiny roses, trees and monkeys…The ideas kept flowing. Towards the end of the evening, the father suggested, ‘Now you can open your present’. The child responded ‘No Daddy, I don’t want to open it. I’m happy with the box’.


Would you open the box?


What would be in your box that you would find most satisfying?


Is it possible that someone’s gratitude for the gift of imagination is stronger than their curiosity and appetite for the real life? How does it feel?


Sunflowers in a vaseFirst published: December 2013