Tag: psychology

Dissolving

If you have found a bottle, what message would be inside?

What do you need to read right now?

Text and photos: Alicja Pyszka-Franceschini

About a boy who could not feel happiness

Once upon a time, there was a boy who could not feel happiness when other people were joyful. He always responded with a minimizing commentary or disapproving face. He saw others smiling, chatting, playing and appreciating a warm cup of tea and a free biscuit on a table but he could not reciprocate. with a smile. His eyes were always stern, lip corners dropped, body posture irritated. ‘How can they be so happy?’ he was wondering all the time. ‘How can they be so happy when so little is done?’

He was very puzzled but fortunately quite capable of self-reflection too.

‘Am I envious of joy?’ He thought to himself appealing to his inner wisdom but could not satisfy himself with an honest answer.

Tired from his own thoughts and worries, he went to a nearby park where an elderly lady was sitting on a bench feeding birds with seeds. She was smiling and talking to the birds. She was happy. The boy got irritated again. ‘How can she be happy just like that? Feeding birds?’ And then he got curious as he recognized the feeling. ‘Miss, could I feed the birds with you?’ he asked.

‘Of course.’ She answered passing him a bag of seeds. He started smiling but then as soon as he felt his own smile he got irritated with himself for smiling.

‘Miss, why am I angry with myself for smiling.’

‘I think it is something to do with your inner mirrors. It is because of your adult inner mirrors.’

‘Are they broken?’

‘Did you notice?’

Story and photography: Alicja Pyszka-Franceschini, 2025. Copying without the explicit permission from the author is not permitted.


			


	



			
				


	

		
When ego bursts…

		
	

		


	

		






(...)
When ego bursts
It makes space
For the other...

Alicja Pyszka-Franceschini, Autumn 2024

From the anthology On Immaturity (not yet published) by Alicja Pyszka-Franceschini
Photograph: Alicja Pyszka-Franceschini, Ambergate, The Birches, Derbyshire, UK

			


	



			
				


	

		
on unresolved grief

		
	

		


	

		










'I cannot hear you anymore.'
'Is that a bad thing?'
'I think so.'
'What can you feel instead?'
'Stomach pain.'
'What does it say?'
'That I miss you.'
'You are so sweet.'
'No. Very bitter in fact.'





~ Alicja Pyszka-Franceschini

			


	



			
				


	

		
Initiate growth inside your family

		
	

		


	

		
flowers


These very first years of family life are full of challenges and negotiations that once resolved are actually incredibly satisfying. I like to think of a family as a unit in a state of growth. So when we hibernate for too long, we ask ourselves which of the spheres of life we have recently or over time neglected. In fact, I like to do this very easy exercise in which next to a life sphere we discuss ideas on how to improve it. It is a very simple exercise that, if you wish to do it for your own family, is best done individually for each member and then together as a whole. 



Life Sphere:


Spiritual  – effort to make time for meditation, reflection, prayer, quiet space in our busy liveflowers2s


Humane  – effort to make time for helping others outside the family and each other within the family


Emotional – effort to make time for cultivating positive emotions (love, kindness, compassion) and working through the negative ones, scheduling activities that bring about positive emotions


Physical – effort to make time for sport, rest, affection, cooking nutritious food, looking after our bodies


Intellectual – effort to make time for cultural activities (book, cinema, theatre) and stretching our minds, problem-solving activities, formal or informal study


Social – effort to make time for socializing, family-and-community gatherings, family conversation, celebrating, events in your own city, etc.


Environmental – effort to make time for engaging with nature, improving our homes or local areas, repairing the house, making our immediate environment pleasant 



When it comes to family growth and well-being I have got one belief: every effort that you’ll make in the space of one year will deliver its shoots the next and if cultivated it will fully blossom in years to come. Do not get dissuaded or discouraged by the instant gratification culture, everything that is worth doing, is worth doing even if the fruit will show later in life.


Have a lovely family life!


This exercise has been inspired by the exercises promoted within Cognitive-Behavioral Psychology. If you’d like to learn more about it, you may like to read: Cognitive Behavioral Therapy: Teach Yourself (2012) by Christine Wilding or any other book or introduction to Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy.