How did you manage to have a boy and a girl? Is it worth knowing this?

Unfortunately, I never learnt to play the guitar. Neither did my son. He chose hockey instead. Lots of people ask me how did we go about having a boy and a girl and in all honesty we did not leave it entirely to chance. Instead I read this book and applied the knowledge and this is how it was handled. The book is called Taking Charge of Your Fertility and it is written by Toni Weschler. I bought it via Amazon but I read the one with this Taking Charge of Your Fertility (Used) | Toni Weschler | 9780060881900 | Awesome Books. I know this is an unusual post but I also know that there is a lot of pain that surrounds the topic so I hope the pain can be eased or a solution found here.

Maybe it is a message worth spreading.

But of course, I cannot guarantee the results.

Love to all,

Alicja

To acknowledge the worth of things/ Uznać wartość rzeczy


We were driving to the church this morning; I was sitting at the back, next to my daughter, chatting to her. She took a little vaseline lip balm tin out of her pocket. She put some on her lips and then asked me if I would like some for myself. She handed me the round tin, I took some of it and I put it on my lips saying that I love the vanilla smell. She was thrilled, her eyes sparked, she grasped my hand satisfied and said: ‘I love you, Mummy. I love you so much’. She was thrilled.

Often, this is exactly what our children want us to do: to acknowledge the worth of what they like, to give to us what they love and to see that we are capable of appreciating it too. This creates the union, communion and connection.

Have you recently had a similar experience?

Jechaliśmy dziś rano do kościoła; siedziałam z tyłu, obok mojej córki, rozmawiając z nią. Wyjęła z kieszeni puszeczkę z wazeliną do ust. Nałożyła trochę na swoje usta, a potem zapytała mnie, czy chciałabym trochę dla siebie. Podała mi okrągłą puszkę, wzięłam trochę jej balsamu do ust i nałożyłam, mówiąc, że uwielbiam zapach wanilii. Była zachwycona, jej oczy błyszczały, chwyciła moją dłoń zadowolona i powiedziała: „Kocham cię, mamusiu. Tak bardzo cię kocham”. Była wręcz zachwycona.

Często właśnie tego chcą od nas nasze dzieci: abyśmy uznali wartość tego, co one lubią; one dają nam to, co kochają byśmy pokazali, że my również potrafimy to docenić. To tworzy jedność, komunię i połączenie.

Czy doświadczyliście czegoś podobnego ostatnio?

What are photographs for?

Do you remember the song by Ed Sheeran called Photograph? The official music video consists of photographs and video cuts. These are from his early childhood and his early music career. I love the simplicity of it all and the sheer joy of watching a growing child, his first steps, his running around and the shrieks of a toddler finding his voice. It is so moving. The decor of his family’s house that is sealed in time. The hands of the family members that carefully assist him in making his first steps, in music or drawing, busking and then all the Happy Birthday’s sung together to celebrate the child. Call me sentimental, but that song makes me cry. It is all moving and all beautiful. I am very inspired by the song and the video. It inspires me to rediscover my own family archive. These are the good times.

Photos taken in Derby (UK), in Poland and in Derby Museum and Art Gallery.

Link to Ed Sheeran’s Song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nSDgHBxUbVQ

All images: Alicja Pyszka-Franceschini. All rights reserved.

Take me beyond forgiveness / Zabierz mnie poza przebaczenie (bilingual English-Polish post)

Take me beyond forgiveness
.

POEM

Take me beyond forgiveness
Where love ends all quarrels
And gratitude replenishes hands
Tired of work
For nothing
So it seems…

Take me beyond forgiveness
Where I understand the concept
of a nutrient
without doubting its worth or value
and I clean
and I eat
wisdom for breakfast
and love for dinner.
With you.

QUESTION TO PONDER

If you were to take yourself beyond forgiveness, where would you take yourself?

Who is ‘you’ for you?

What would be on your wisdom plate?

Acknowledgment: I first saw poetry combined with questions in the book 21 Spotkań. These questions lead to individual insight. Click here to see. It was written by Maciej Bennewicz and Katarzyna Zaremba. Both psychologists create poetic dialogues and work with metaphors that aid individual growth and self-understanding. The more humble I become, the more I grow in the appreciation of this approach.

May is a mental health awareness month and I would like to strengthen us all using my talents today in a similar manner. I learnt yesterday that a friend of mine died being only 48. She loved travelling and this blog too. I wish I had still a chance to eat a dinner with her. Travel. Keep on living. x

By engaging in this exercise you are practising these mental skills:

  • self-compassion
  • self-awareness
  • inner peace.

So if you were to take yourself beyond forgiveness, where would you take yourself?

Enjoy it.

POLISH TRANSLATION

WIERSZ

Zabierz mnie poza przebaczenie
Gdzie miłość kończy wszelkie kłótnie
A wdzięczność wypełnia dłonie
Zmęczone pracą
Za darmo
Na to wygląda…

Zabierz mnie poza przebaczenie
Gdzie rozumiem pojęcie
składnika odżywczego
nie wątpiąc w jego znaczenie i wartość
I już teraz sprzątam
i jem
Mądrość na śniadanie
i miłość do obiadu.
Z Tobą.

PYTANIE DO ROZWAŻENIA

Gdybyś miał/miała zabrać siebie poza przebaczenie, dokąd zabrałabyś siebie?

Co by było dla Ciebie mądrością na śniadanie?

Z kim jadłabyś obiad?

Podziękowanie: Po raz pierwszy zetknęłam się z poezją połączoną z pytaniami w książce “21 spotkań”. Te pytania prowadzą do wglądu we właną sprawczość. Kliknij tutaj, aby zopoznać się z książką. Autorami tekstu są Maciej Bennewicz i Katarzyna Zaremba. Obaj psychologowie tworzą poetyckie dialogi i pracują z metaforami, które pomagają w indywidualnym rozwoju i zrozumieniu siebie. Bardzo doceniam to podejście.

Maj jest miesiącem zwiększania świadomości na temat zdrowia psychicznego i chciałbym nas wszystkich wzmocnić, używając moich talentów w podobny sposób. Wczoraj dowiedziałem się, że moja przyjaciółka zmarła mając zaledwie 48 lat. Uwielbiała podróże i ten blog. Chciałbym mieć jeszcze szansę zjeść z nią obiad lub kolację. ”Podróżujcie. Żyjcie dalej.” powiedziałaby dziś. x

Angażując się w to ćwiczenie, ćwiczysz poniższe umiejętności:

  • współczucie dla siebie
  • samoświadomość
  • wewnętrzny spokój.

Warto?

Więc: Gdybyś miał/miała zabrać siebie poza przebaczenie, dokąd zabrałabyś siebie?

Merry Christmas. Gratitude from a trail.

25. 12. 2024

Can you imagine our joy when we discovered a Brussels sprouts field and a flock of pheasants on our walk? Neither of them expected or planned. They felt like rewards for venturing beyond the comfort and warmth of the house when it was so tempting to be inside to make it all perfect for Christmas. We did not plan to make it all perfect for Christmas. We planned to go through it with good and steady pace that would render us less fragile and susceptible to germs in winter and would give us time and space for progressive clean-up. Haven’t quite succeeded at that as the younger one managed to catch a cold that has just developed into a 38.5 fever but we’re trying so I commend us for trying.

Back to the joy related to the Brussels sprouts field. I was thrilled. The kids even more. I felt someone was reminding us where the Christmas food was coming from and feeling both an awe and gratitude for those that must have worked very hard for these small green balls to appear on our table was a very natural response to have. All of a sudden the connection between what we eat and what is grown around us became very clear to the children. It was great to see it.

We walked a trail that we took years ago on a Mother’s Day but we took a slightly different route this time – one that guarantees an enormous amount of psychological space. I appreciate this so much. This feeling of being unobstructed by buildings, houses, objects, cars or people is life-giving. Our thoughts and anxieties need to be processed somewhere and when we travel through spaces like this one, they seem to be swimming away into a distance and it’s easier to detach.

I think I cannot live without vast spaces and open landscapes. The breathing spaces. That trail years ago was my treat and it remains so. With new routes discovered as we follow the children’s instincts and wishes. They discover paths, we agree to follow and in return we discover new vistas. It is a very fair arrangement. Well… as long as we don’t get lost and there is a safe path of return…

As for the pheasants, aren’t they mesmerizing? Always a joy to see one passing across a road, let alone to see a flock of them landing on a grass patch next to not-even-slightly bewildered sheep. You end up being twice surprised. First, with the number of pheasants appearing at once, a second time with the calmness of the resting sheep. ‘Haven’t you noticed what I have just noticed?’ You almost want to nudge them to get curious, to little or no avail.

Wherever you are, I hope you are relaxing now and if you fancy a bit of magic in your living room, to cater to children around you or your inner child, I recommend this magical relaxation video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=reRSAx2gwDA To bring the fairytale land inside your home or wherever you are right now.

Thank you, Dear Readers, for visiting Postcards Without Stamps. My gratitude today if for your presence and love of reading. I hope that every page you read will contribute to your greater well-being and you will accumulate strength, resilience and joy.

Merry Christmas.

Alicja

Photos taken at Tissington Trail, Derbyshire, UK.