Tag: Family

As far as our curiosity takes us

multicultural home

Christmas is abundant in culture in our little home. We’re a trilingual household, with Polish, Italian and English being spoken between us and the members of our family, and so when we celebrate Christmas, there are many customs and traditions to follow and weave into the Christmas season. I often ask myself to what extent it is possible to be a multicultural family, how far can we go in being three at once: Polish, Italian and English.

It’s been only recently that I came up with the answer to the how far question:

We can go as far as our curiosity goes.

For is this not what identity is? All that we’ve been thus far and all where our curiosity takes us to.

I feel that the more we cultivate the three languages, the deeper we dive into the cultures that accompany them. It’s either following one’s interest and enjoying it or living in a state of permanent nostalgia for what we once were (or what we once hoped to become). It’s interesting that we can either answer our curiosity or be saddened by it.

If you follow Elizabeth Gilbert on Facebook, you will learn a lot from her about curiosity-driven life. I love her idea and now it is a perfect moment for me to embrace it. A perfect moment to start learning, exploring and loving our three cultures.

So this is where this blog is going to venture now.

From curiosity to cultures. :)

But where was I… oh yes… traditions and customs. I proclaimed myself a custodian of cultures this Christmas and although we celebrated in England, I made a typical Polish dinner on Dec 24: carp, beetroot soup, ginger bread and pasta with poppy seeds, nuts and raisins. Just before Christmas our Italian friends came over for a short visit. It was interesting for me to learn that where they are from in the south of Italy, they also celebrate Christmas starting on Dec 24 eating fish, opening presents and going to church at midnight. This is different to how my husband’s family celebrated it in the north of Italy – with the main emphasis being on Dec 25. If you happen to be from the north of Italy, I am curious to know if this is still true for you.

Children benefit greatly from celebrating multicultural Christmas. Not only because of the different foods, customs and music but also because presents are given in different places of the world at different times which can mean more presents, or if you think like me, it would mean that not everything needs to be opened from everyone on the same day and the joy can be spread throughout the weeks. In Poland we tend to give each other the main presents on Dec 24 after our main Christmas dinner, but also something small a bit earlier in the month on Dec 6 for St Nicholas’ Day (Mikołajki). On Dec 6 my mother used to put some nuts, oranges, a piece of chocolate into our shoes and sometimes a little practical winter present like a pair of gloves, warm tights or a hat. Nothing too fancy – the present was just meant to bring a smile to our faces and warmth to our bodies. Practical and simple. In England, the main presents are opened on the 25th and in Italy, something small is also given on the 6th of January, for la Befana – Befana is an old witch-like woman who brings candies and fruit to good children and garlic and coal to the naughty ones. If you are a cook, you are lucky, you can purposefully misbehave and you will get garlic and fuel with which to start cooking many of your pasta sauces. :)

Have a great curiosity-driven year!

Where do you think your curiosity will take you in 2016?

Thankful Tuesday (Poland)

We didn’t have much time for sight-seeing in Poland but seeing my family was actually what I mainly wanted out of our short visit there. Everything else was an additional treat. So today I am grateful for my family in Poland and all the places of heart-warming indulgence that I like to visit there. :)

Polish sweets_2
Cukiernia Śródmiejska, Piła

bw1tomatoesbreadsishidden

Produkty benedyktynskie
Produkty Benedyktyńskie, Piła
produce
Produkty Benedyktyńskie, Piła
Polish sweets
Cukiernia Śródmiejska, Piła

gloveslast

Dreaming together

dreaming together 2

Every so often I’d like to find out what great spiritual leaders have to say about families. A while ago I came across a quote from a sermon of Pope Francis in which he urged families to cultivate a habit of dreaming together. I thought that it was a wonderful message to send to both parents and children. Dreaming together – we’ve got to find the time and the opportunity to do it.

In our house, dreaming together sometimes means planning our trips and holidays, organising our week or saving money for a house-improvement project, but other times it actually means sharing our enthusiasm or crazy needs, reaffirming who we are and what we want to do and who we want to be. How otherwise are we to learn who our family members actually are? How otherwise are they going to learn who we are?

This is to some extent how I see love.

Loving someone is to love their dreams.

My dream for this coming week is to fly safely to Poland (and back) to find out what my family over there dreams about. Although I do not have a white beard or red outfit, I might still be able to make things happen.

Now I’m off to pack and quiz my husband about his dreams. Hopefully, he’ll say that I’m still one of them. ;)

Do zobaczenia! (‘See you soon’ in Polish)

 

A December Soundscape

We’ve made an early start in our preparation towards Christmas. My little elf and I decorated our living Christmas tree last Sunday and we made the house smell of oranges, cinnamon and cloves with our very simple house ornaments. I’ve been having a very strong need of embracing peace in this very last month of the year – to counterbalance the madness that’s reported daily in the news but also to create a distance towards all the imposed deadlines and obligations that we have towards the end of year.

There is nothing worse than getting ourselves wound-up and exhausted during the time when our hearts are supposed to be expanding with peace, love and kindness, during the time when we should be filling ourselves up with all the goodness of the world that allows us to give and love fully in the year to come.

A while ago my husband and I promised to each other that we will live with the seasons, that we will allow ourselves to experience every month as nature wants us, with the goodness that each month brings. December with its candle-lit evenings, warm blankets and the purity of snow, invites peace. Early darkness frees us from disturbances – it is almost as if we’ve been encouraged to go a little deeper into ourselves to look for peace and remove the noise from our heads and hearts.

What I found, however, is that recently I have been coming home with some odd Christmas jingels in my head or snippets of disturbing news and conversations and I’ve been struggling to quieten these earworms in my head, but Thank God for good music. Music brings me to life and balance. The magical music that sends me where I want to be… into the cosy arms of the magical peaceful world of love and hope (and a little bit of nostalgia to complete it all).

If, just as me, you are a seeker of mellow contentedness and you love soulful, heart-opening (sometimes acoustic and instrumental but often also lyrical) music, here are my recommendations for you (click to open them in You Tube). I cannot have enough of these albums – my life would be emptier without them. Who knows… it might be the same for you.

  1. Charlie Haden and Pat Metheny – beyond the Missouri Sky
  2. Josh Groban – Closer
  3. Sara Tavares – Balance
  4. Chris Botti – Impressions
  5. Leonard Cohen – Greatest Hits

Peace.

Beauty equals…

lily

“The real sin against life is to abuse and destroy beauty, even one’s own – even more one’s own, for that has been put in our care and we are responsible for its well-being.” Katherine Anne Porter, journalist and author

I’ve been trying to position myself towards the topic of beauty for a long time now. I have been brought up in a home that did not celebrate beauty. “Beauty is only skin-deep” was probably the most often used statement about beauty that I heard as a child. It was of course used in order to show that assigning importance to looks is superficial but I think that more often than not we were quite confused about the statement. Because if it was superficial and we generally should not care about it, why did we have to look good when we were visiting relatives?

Anyhow, ‘Beauty is only skin-deep’ was a saying that many liked to sing when we were growing up and, to be honest, I see it now as more damaging to children’s understanding and appreciation of beauty than helpful in building their characters. What I do not like about this saying is that it discredits beauty per se, it discredits the need for looking after it, it discredits the need for creating it and if said too often, it basically stops us from looking after the beauty that we are surrounded with and the beautiful people that we are.

Beauty requires effort. It takes work and purposeful, regular practice to create it. It also takes knowledge and dedication. I only truly understood this through my life experiences over the last few years: growing a child, making things for our house and garden, writing and photographing. What I have learnt is that beauty thrives with care and creativity and care and creativity entail effort. Creativity is effort, it’s seeing details, it’s being able to mould materials until they take the shape that we want them to take, it’s also about learning how beauty is made and about practice. It’s about spending time and often exerting ourselves to reach the outcome that we want to have, and finally it’s about tending to it regularly, taming it’s wildness. Beauty can be shallow but usually it is not. Usually beauty is work. It’s a lot of work nurtured with love and affection.

Shouldn’t we therefore teach our children that beauty should be respected rather than disparaged?

The more affection we have towards who we are, what is within us and what is around us, the more beautiful…

everything becomes.