Losing sleep and buying presents for new-to-parenthood adults

Derby Museum

At Derby Museum and Art Gallery

 

A new era has started in our house – an era of no afternoon sleep for our toddler (and no cat naps for me by the same token). It’s been on and off for the last three months but it looks like he has decided to drop it for good now. Every transition phase in a family life, even as small as this one, is challenging and tiring at the same time. A lot of miscommunication happens in transition phases – what I once understood as a sign of tiredness on the part of our little boy, now becomes a request for extra entertainment and I must admit it took me a while to grasp it, perhaps a tinge of denial clouded my parental perception, but it looks like I am now a mum of a small boy rather than a toddler. Could this be the case? So soon?

I suspect that our son is also confused by this new wave of energy that embraces him in the middle of each day. So when today, just after midday, my little companion turned into a roaring dinosaur and then into a savage shark that ferociously dived into the tormented sea of our duvet with no intention of reverting into a sweet and sleepy baby-boy the shark once was, I thought to myself that it’s probably a sign that we’re done with afternoon naps and it’s time for something else now…

More serious mothering… maybe? I noticed that there are many no’s to exchange now, more boundaries to set, new negotiations to engage in and I am slowly finding myself within this new parental landscape. But ‘slowly’ is not a word that goes well with being a mum of a 3 year-old. I have a very curious and a very fast son and I love this about him but recently I just find it really hard to keep his pace and you know, as a parent, it’s actually better if you’re a bit quicker than your child, a millisecond will suffice as long as that millisecond is there… And if you are as big a dreamer as I am, you are probably more than one zillion milliseconds behind.

There are two books that mainly helped me (and are still helping) with developing good communication habits with my son. I would not have any qualms in presenting these books as Christmas presents to new-to-parenthood adults. So if you have anyone around you with small children, do not hesitate investing in these two sources as they are really helpful and enlightening.

The first book is by Jesper Juul (2011) entitled Your Competent Child.

The second is by Janet Lansbury (2014) and is called No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline without Shame.

Two wonderful and helpful guides. They are really kind and understanding in tone and message and I cannot help but love what they recommend and how they explain the role of  parenting and honest communication between children and parents. Of course, I do not necessarily read them as gospel, but I feel that they came to my life just at the right time.

Let me know if they do the trick for you and your loved-ones too. x

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3 thoughts on “Losing sleep and buying presents for new-to-parenthood adults

  1. Not sure how efficient or workable this would be in other life-styles but when I was in a situation of having two hypo-energetic sons 1 four and the other two (my daughter who was even more creative and energetic had started school) I knew the afternoon (peace ? nap for even a short period was vital for my sanity and ongoing motherly nurturing). We played a game after lunch and a time of games and fun I would suggest they went to their little beds and wait for the (siren) to sound ie on the space ship or boat or whatever the day’s game was about. They had to lie really, really, still or they would not hear it.
    I set the oven timer to 15 minutes. I only remember one occasion when they were not both asleep at the time the ‘siren sounded’ The one time was when
    the telephone rang and they both leapt out of bed and charged around excitedly. (I then disconnected the phone for the 15 minutes).
    What a wonderful time of life those of you who have the littlies should have.
    Its such a short period. (a thought the siren also works with grandchildren but you need to be more 21st century creative). Thank you for the blog.

    Liked by 1 person

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