Gratitude, frustrating renewals and an obstinate dwarf

Two tiny colourful dwarfs are proudly standing on our front yard at the moment bringing, I hope, happy smiles to delivery men that seem to be stopping on our street more often this week than usually. I wonder why… Children feel happier when they come back from school – the dwarfs make up for a lack of a dog to some small extent. They do not wag any tails, but they have funny hats and welcoming expressions and it is of course always nicer to return to a fairyland rather than to a grey and sad looking front garden full of sticks. That said, even the sticks, when they hold some lights, they change purpose. They seem to be designed for charm rather than hibernation. I think there is even a device that uses this re-purposing function of a stick. I think this device is called a magic wand.

Last week was filled with school performances, studying and end-of-year reflections and cleaning and sorting (I am still at it). We got so frustrated with the state of the house that we decided to stay at home over Christmas to finish our small-renovations and to restore the state of the house to a hospitable condition. It might be not the most glamorous way of spending the Christmas holiday but to be honest I could not bare the thought of going somewhere for rest, just to return to a house that is in a constant state of disarray. It has been like this for a bit too long for us and we must face the dreaded renovation before 2025 pops in for a longer stay. Interestingly, if you look for synonyms to the word renovation, you are likely to get such words as ‘redevelopment’, ‘improvement’, ‘renewal’, ‘restoration’ which are actually quite positive in sound and are fitting well into the theme of the new year. They are not quite close enough to the ‘new me’ type of concept, but perhaps a bit more true to reality since what we refresh or improve has already got its life and a beating heart. All that it needs is some work and attention. What do you feel would make your renewal possible during these coming weeks?

Last week I attended a supervision meeting with Maciej Bennewicz Institute of Cognitive Studies. There is always a sense of relief after discussing serious matters and dilemmas with others so I am very grateful today to the Institute for giving us the opportunity to discuss what we are troubled by and for taking very seriously the cognitive and relational dilemmas that professionals have. The Institute is well-known in Poland for its unique focus on Psychology of Subjective Experience as well as cognitive sciences and social psychology and provides support and guidance to coaches, tutors, mentors and psychologists. Back at home my mum worked as a social worker and she never had this type of support and I think her life would have been much easier if it was a staple at the time. I hope, Dear Reader, that you now have this type of support if you need it, wherever you are. This aside, Maciej Bennewicz practices a daily habit of posting a reflection or story online. He shares it on Facebook or in his publications. These posts are koans. Their structure and purpose derive from a Chinese tradition. They aim to open the door to a different way of seeing a situation. The story might seem illogical or paradoxical in some way. You can read his stories here. I always like this type of thought-provoking writing and I thought I would modestly attempt my own short-story here but on the theme of gratitude (somewhat inspired by the dwarfs on my lawn too) that might perhaps be more helpful to you than my own personal list of gratitudes. It would be lovely to write quite a few of those and to turn them into a book too. It seems like a worthy aim. :)

Forest Loops

Once upon a time there was a little boy who went to the forest to collect berries. He walked for over 3 miles, reached the woodland and searched everywhere for the berries but he could not find them. He left the forest upset and angry with the forest that it bore no berries. He only walked for a mile when a woodland dwarf stopped him and asked him why he was so upset. He explained that he went to the forest but found no berries and was upset that the whole journey was wasted. The woodland dwarf told him to go back to the forest and take the same walk again. The boy hesitantly did as he was told, walked through the forest and as he predicted he found no berries. He left the forest even more upset. When he met the dwarf on his way back, he complained loudly and angrily to him. The dwarf again instructed him to go back to the forest and take the same route. The boy although upset did as he was told and walked the same route for the third time. He found no berries and with anger headed home. The dwarf waited for him in the same spot and did not allow him to walk away. The boy exploded with anger and shouted at the dwarf to which the dwarf simply pointed to the forest and told him to walk there again. The boy being thoroughly upset entered the forest again. ‘There are no berries here!’ ‘There are no berries here!’ ‘There are no berries here!’ he kept on shouting and the echo was reiterating what he had already known. The boy sat down on a stone disappointed and angry and looked around. He saw some mushrooms glistening under a birch tree. He picked them and put them in his basket. Then he walked further and found more mushrooms, and then some more and kept on picking them until his basket was full. Then he noticed golden coloured leaves that would make a good crown for his sister’s school performance and filled his pockets with them and when he was walking further he saw a fallen tree and thought that the he will take a few branches for firewood. Equipped with woodland graces, he ventured home worried that he would meet the dwarf again. The dwarf was there waiting for the boy, looked at him and smiled broadly seeing the boy with the basket full of mushrooms, pockets filled with leaves and wooden branches on his back. ‘Now, you are ready to go back home’ the dwarf told him. The boy looked at the dwarf surprised and went back home.

Both photographs taken at The Birches, Ambergate, Derbyshire, UK.

Images and photographs copyrighted by Alicja Pyszka-Franceschini, 2024.




			

Thankful Tuesday: Being flamboyant about my gratitudes

Irrespective if you are someone flamboyant about your gratitudes or modest in expressing them, Tuesdays seem to be the right day to create a list of blessings and positive experiences. To ward off the anxieties that might be resurfacing midweek and to keep our mind calm and to make our heart palpitate gladly.

The Life with The Crew started The Thankful Tuesdays. I want to cultivate this blogging custom. I believe it serves us all well. Do you want to join in?

Here I go with mine. Today I am grateful for:

– the snow, the snow, the snow… that did not melt too quickly and the fox that appeared in our garden just after midday

– my friend’s successful knee operation and his quick recovery and our chat over a cup of coffee and his sharing of insights and wisdom from life

– for a very considerate friend who dropped Castor oil at my doorstep to improve blood circulation in the shoulders

– a husband who made a lovely Mediterranean style lentil dish with leek and green pumpkin and parsley (on the blog soon)

– translators who translate children’s stories and allow us to move between languages but within the same storytelling sphere: Room on the Broom by Julia Donaldson, La Strega Rosella – translated by the incredbly skilled Laura Pelaschiar, and the Polish version entitled ‘Miejsce na Miotle’ by translated by the excellent MichaÅ‚ Rusinek

– Jodie Wilson from Practising Simplicity for encouraging Yoga as a gentle exercise for busy lives, very useful for frozen shoulders too and any problems with posture that result from attached monkeys to our hips (be it kids or cameras) and also for her indirect encouragement to contact blog readers

– for Adam Phillips’ book On Getting Better and his ability to put into words what we tend to hide from ourselves, i.e. that our transferences and regressions intensify with our resistance :)

– for our daughter who said today that she wants to do her homework on her own and allowed me to load the dishwasher in the meantime

– for the recent Outdoor Photography Magazine and the glorious portfolio review by Massimo Leotardi and their reminder that we are soon going into a National Tree Week that is uniting all the tree lovers in the UK (see treecouncil.org.uk). This is one of our favourite magazines at home and we like to have a conversation over the photographs in the morning either by exiling tensions over the landscape photographs or by giggling and wowing over aquatic creatures or mice hiding in a hollow apple

– our morning routine that has just greatly improved due to a managerial trick, i.e. a checklist with all that needs to be taken to schools. Seriously, we need it. Our working memory is only capable of remembering six items at once. Everything else is an excess. We also use a simple linguistic change of words. Instead of saying ‘Speed up’, we say ‘Focus on buttoning up your shirt’, etc. So we focus on the actual activity that we want the children to complete and use the verb ‘focus on’. In that way, the morning routine is smoother for all of us and we have nicer starts to the day.

– for a glorious Journey Through Time and Light event at Crich Tramway Village that has put us in a festive mood and brought a huge anticipation of joy for the coming Christmas season

– for finding ways of preparing our son for his weekly Polish dictation tests at his Saturday School.. gosh this was a hard nut to crack..

What would you put on your list?

At Crich Tramway Village, A Journey Through Time and Light, Derbyshire, 2024

Wildlife photo of the week

Wildlife photo of the day. Three cubs hid behind the parent in our little woodland patch. Only the adult decided to gracefully pose. They love the early morning sun here and the safety of the garden. No dogs to scare them here. I suspect the smell of the hens coming from the neighbour’s hen house has also something to do with their liking of our garden. What do you think?

That said, she looks vigilant and exhausted. It’s not easy to feed triplets.

Photo: Alicja Pyszka-Franceschini, 2024. All rights reserved.

Worth the effort?

While the Internet is flooding with messages of growth, renewal and resurrection, we are not there yet… really. We are still in darkness and we think that we will remain in it. Despite the promise, there is no certainty. Anticipation only, perhaps, on the shoulders of those who have never lost hope…

‘Why not to die on the cross for others?’ Jesus said not to Himself. But he did it. Because someone else said so.

He thought it was worth the effort. Do we?

Trust

When I started writing Postcards Without Stamps I was following Inked in Colour and I was very inspired by Sash’s letters to her daughter that create a beautiful and thoughtful dialogue with Bo. Some of Sash’s photographs also stick in my mind till this day, especially the one of her daughter holding a feather as if giving a challenge to her mum to write for her (link to her post here). Of course, this is most likely my own projection onto the photo and a reveal of my own sub-conscious need to express love through writing which wants to be met here.

The post below is not a letter as such but perhaps a poem or a lyric to a song and it is just one of those things that wanted to be written.

There I will be

There are moments in life when past and present collapse into one.

When the future is impossible to predict and days impossible to plan,

when tomorrow seems too distant to arrive – in those days, my Princess,

there I will be

your Trust.

When your life will seem too much to handle, there I will be, my Princess, your Trust.

When the pain of regrets will swallow your courage, there I will be, my Princess, your Trust.

When your joys will dissipate and where the hopes will turn into ash, there I will stay my Princess,

your Trust.

In the cities of angels

Someone always keeps an eye on you.

Trust.