We were driving to the church this morning; I was sitting at the back, next to my daughter, chatting to her. She took a little vaseline lip balm tin out of her pocket. She put some on her lips and then asked me if I would like some for myself. She handed me the round tin, I took some of it and I put it on my lips saying that I love the vanilla smell. She was thrilled, her eyes sparked, she grasped my hand satisfied and said: ‘I love you, Mummy. I love you so much’. She was thrilled.
Often, this is exactly what our children want us to do: to acknowledge the worth of what they like, to give to us what they love and to see that we are capable of appreciating it too. This creates the union, communion and connection.
Have you recently had a similar experience?
Jechaliśmy dziś rano do kościoła; siedziałam z tyłu, obok mojej córki, rozmawiając z nią. Wyjęła z kieszeni puszeczkę z wazeliną do ust. Nałożyła trochę na swoje usta, a potem zapytała mnie, czy chciałabym trochę dla siebie. Podała mi okrągłą puszkę, wzięłam trochę jej balsamu do ust i nałożyłam, mówiąc, że uwielbiam zapach wanilii. Była zachwycona, jej oczy błyszczały, chwyciła moją dłoń zadowolona i powiedziała: „Kocham cię, mamusiu. Tak bardzo cię kocham”. Była wręcz zachwycona.
Często właśnie tego chcą od nas nasze dzieci: abyśmy uznali wartość tego, co one lubią; one dają nam to, co kochają byśmy pokazali, że my również potrafimy to docenić. To tworzy jedność, komunię i połączenie.
Do you remember the song by Ed Sheeran called Photograph? The official music video consists of photographs and video cuts. These are from his early childhood and his early music career. I love the simplicity of it all and the sheer joy of watching a growing child, his first steps, his running around and the shrieks of a toddler finding his voice. It is so moving. The decor of his family’s house that is sealed in time. The hands of the family members that carefully assist him in making his first steps, in music or drawing, busking and then all the Happy Birthday’s sung together to celebrate the child. Call me sentimental, but that song makes me cry. It is all moving and all beautiful. I am very inspired by the song and the video. It inspires me to rediscover my own family archive. These are the good times.
Photos taken in Derby (UK), in Poland and in Derby Museum and Art Gallery.
Take me beyond forgiveness Where love ends all quarrels And gratitude replenishes hands Tired of work For nothing So it seems…
Take me beyond forgiveness Where I understand the concept of a nutrient without doubting its worth or value and I clean and I eat wisdom for breakfast and love for dinner. With you.
QUESTION TO PONDER
If you were to take yourself beyond forgiveness, where would you take yourself?
Who is ‘you’ for you?
What would be on your wisdom plate?
Acknowledgment: I first saw poetry combined with questions in the book 21 Spotkań. These questions lead to individual insight. Click here to see. It was written by Maciej Bennewicz and Katarzyna Zaremba. Both psychologists create poetic dialogues and work with metaphors that aid individual growth and self-understanding. The more humble I become, the more I grow in the appreciation of this approach.
May is a mental health awareness month and I would like to strengthen us all using my talents today in a similar manner. I learnt yesterday that a friend of mine died being only 48. She loved travelling and this blog too. I wish I had still a chance to eat a dinner with her. Travel. Keep on living. x
By engaging in this exercise you are practising these mental skills:
self-compassion
self-awareness
inner peace.
So if you were to take yourself beyond forgiveness, where would you take yourself?
Enjoy it.
POLISH TRANSLATION
WIERSZ
Zabierz mnie poza przebaczenie Gdzie miłość kończy wszelkie kłótnie A wdzięczność wypełnia dłonie Zmęczone pracą Za darmo Na to wygląda…
Zabierz mnie poza przebaczenie Gdzie rozumiem pojęcie składnika odżywczego nie wątpiąc w jego znaczenie i wartość I już teraz sprzątam i jem Mądrość na śniadanie i miłość do obiadu. Z Tobą.
PYTANIE DO ROZWAŻENIA
Gdybyś miał/miała zabrać siebie poza przebaczenie, dokąd zabrałabyś siebie?
Co by było dla Ciebie mądrością na śniadanie?
Z kim jadłabyś obiad?
Podziękowanie: Po raz pierwszy zetknęłam się z poezją połączoną z pytaniami w książce “21 spotkań”. Te pytania prowadzą do wglądu we właną sprawczość. Kliknij tutaj, aby zopoznać się z książką. Autorami tekstu są Maciej Bennewicz i Katarzyna Zaremba. Obaj psychologowie tworzą poetyckie dialogi i pracują z metaforami, które pomagają w indywidualnym rozwoju i zrozumieniu siebie. Bardzo doceniam to podejście.
Maj jest miesiącem zwiększania świadomości na temat zdrowia psychicznego i chciałbym nas wszystkich wzmocnić, używając moich talentów w podobny sposób. Wczoraj dowiedziałem się, że moja przyjaciółka zmarła mając zaledwie 48 lat. Uwielbiała podróże i ten blog. Chciałbym mieć jeszcze szansę zjeść z nią obiad lub kolację. ”Podróżujcie. Żyjcie dalej.” powiedziałaby dziś. x
Angażując się w to ćwiczenie, ćwiczysz poniższe umiejętności:
współczucie dla siebie
samoświadomość
wewnętrzny spokój.
Warto?
Więc: Gdybyś miał/miała zabrać siebie poza przebaczenie, dokąd zabrałabyś siebie?
Can you imagine our joy when we discovered a Brussels sprouts field and a flock of pheasants on our walk? Neither of them expected or planned. They felt like rewards for venturing beyond the comfort and warmth of the house when it was so tempting to be inside to make it all perfect for Christmas. We did not plan to make it all perfect for Christmas. We planned to go through it with good and steady pace that would render us less fragile and susceptible to germs in winter and would give us time and space for progressive clean-up. Haven’t quite succeeded at that as the younger one managed to catch a cold that has just developed into a 38.5 fever but we’re trying so I commend us for trying.
Back to the joy related to the Brussels sprouts field. I was thrilled. The kids even more. I felt someone was reminding us where the Christmas food was coming from and feeling both an awe and gratitude for those that must have worked very hard for these small green balls to appear on our table was a very natural response to have. All of a sudden the connection between what we eat and what is grown around us became very clear to the children. It was great to see it.
We walked a trail that we took years ago on a Mother’s Day but we took a slightly different route this time – one that guarantees an enormous amount of psychological space. I appreciate this so much. This feeling of being unobstructed by buildings, houses, objects, cars or people is life-giving. Our thoughts and anxieties need to be processed somewhere and when we travel through spaces like this one, they seem to be swimming away into a distance and it’s easier to detach.
I think I cannot live without vast spaces and open landscapes. The breathing spaces. That trail years ago was my treat and it remains so. With new routes discovered as we follow the children’s instincts and wishes. They discover paths, we agree to follow and in return we discover new vistas. It is a very fair arrangement. Well… as long as we don’t get lost and there is a safe path of return…
As for the pheasants, aren’t they mesmerizing? Always a joy to see one passing across a road, let alone to see a flock of them landing on a grass patch next to not-even-slightly bewildered sheep. You end up being twice surprised. First, with the number of pheasants appearing at once, a second time with the calmness of the resting sheep. ‘Haven’t you noticed what I have just noticed?’ You almost want to nudge them to get curious, to little or no avail.
Wherever you are, I hope you are relaxing now and if you fancy a bit of magic in your living room, to cater to children around you or your inner child, I recommend this magical relaxation video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=reRSAx2gwDA To bring the fairytale land inside your home or wherever you are right now.
Thank you, Dear Readers, for visiting Postcards Without Stamps. My gratitude today if for your presence and love of reading. I hope that every page you read will contribute to your greater well-being and you will accumulate strength, resilience and joy.
The sea was unassumingly grey and boring as much as I would prefer to say otherwise. The tiny waves, however, were falling so abruptly. There must have been a sudden drop in depth close to the beach line. ‘This doesn’t look like a safe paddling pool for children’, I thought to myself but who was I to tell? And who was I to test the truth of my own assumptions or my swimming skills? Not with a frozen shoulder.
Camera felt quite cumbersome with my disability. I felt awkward lifting it up above my chest and photographing birds seemed inappropriate with a shoulder that was grieving its loss of capability but I was bored and actually I have been feeling bored for a while now, regularly experiencing a fed-up mama syndrome that simply manifests itself by wanting to reach for something and feeling that I shouldn’t be wanting to reach for anything besides my child’s hand, perhaps.
The wind was unpleasant, slicing through my jacket as if I was a window of opportunity rather than a human being made of fat and tissue. ‘No amount of fat can make up for a protective layer’ I reproach myself. Better to invest in a new jacket than an extra portion of food. I thought but I honestly did not see myself following on this wisdom too promptly.
I’ve been feeling quite removed from my children lately; partially because of my preoccupations and largely because of their speed. That I find so hard to match.
I’ve been dreaming of going somewhere where I cannot be reached, where I am not disturbed but where I can safely observe everything from afar – a spot difficult enough for the kids to reach – where they cannot disturb me and I do not need to interfere in their play. The place of non-interference.
I saw a lady sitting on the beach supported by the cliff’s wall, writing. And I felt such peace when I saw her as if she was where she was supposed to be. I exhaled. I was so happy for her. So glad. The feeling of peace overwhelmed me like a warm blanket and the sun arrived at the same time and I could do no more but to accept its non-scorching fire.
The children were the first ones to discover the pier. It was hiding below the horizon as if it was their prize for daring feet unphased by the discomfort of beach pebbles. And here it was – a spacious playground and a new viewpoint.
Two photographers came over. They were changing their lenses as if to remind me to change mine. So I did. The wide angle lens transformed the birds into small moving objects against which the cliffs majestically stood their ground.
The sea licked the cliffs like a small puppy its owner – unapologetically loving its face. Jealous of their interaction, I climbed down the ladder fastened to the pier and landed in water next to a chalky rock caressed by foamy waves. I climbed the rock covered with seaweed and positioned myself in a place that would somehow absorb it all. I had only felt half of my body on the descent. I was holding the steel staircase ladder with both hands but I do not have much grip in my left hand. It’s the unreliable hand. I got anxious. What would happen if I lose grip in my right hand – there would be nothing to support me then. ‘You still have it.’ I eased my brain and climbed down while my husband passed me the camera.
I was chuffed with the photos.
‘The ground made it to heaven’ I thought to myself. For He is risen.
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