A few reflections on the days after the referendum

Again

Like many of you I was shocked with the result of the referendum on Friday. In fact I was so unhappy that I could find in myself nothing but an angry voice. Truth be told I was never as angry in my entire life as when I heard of the Prime Minister’s resignation. Then, a day later, after I vented some of my frustration on social media, I realised one thing: how difficult it is to be kind when we’re angry. How difficult… it is.. to be kind when we’re angry. I think it is quite a powerful realisation. One that probably would help us all in dealing with and processing changes that we might not want go through.

On the Saturday and Sunday I was fortunate to be with family and friends celebrating the christenings of two wonderful little girls and on the Saturday when we were driving south with my family, I was thinking about the people who for the last forty or more years worked for European cooperation and strongly believed in its core values and purpose in the world. I felt the tragedy that they were going through, I saw the debris of their collapsed world and I heard the question that they were perhaps asking themselves: Was it all in vein? And my answer to them was: Don’t even think for one minute that it was in vein. It would be much greater a personal tragedy if for forty years you were working against your core values. That, to me, would be a tragedy.

So here came another realisation to me that actually it doesn’t matter if things fail in the end, but what matters is that you still want to commit and create. As Elizabeth Gilbert once said: Your ego is wounded but your soul is fine, your soul just says: Do you want to do it again? Do you still want to work for those values? That’s the key question.

 

A Prayer

8
Dawlish Warren, Devon, UK

 

I am praying tonight that on this Friday morning my family will wake up in a more united world. I pray that we will not waste the efforts of people who for the last sixty years have been relentlessly working for the peace, connection and cooperation of the countries of Europe. I pray that the People of the United Kingdom will go to the Ballot Box with open hearts and will acknowledge that together we are the peacemakers and the creators. I pray that tomorrow the People will vote to remain in the European Union.

There is no peace without the mutual commitment to it. There is none.

Freedom comes first

freedom

When my son was born many people were asking me about my wishes for him, about who I would like him to become, about who I would like him to be. As much as I like people to ask me questions, I disliked being asked about this one. It disagreed with my conviction that these little beings are separate beings and it is to freedom that we are bringing them up and that it is freedom that first and foremost we should allow them to experience. You see, our children are institutionalized from such an early age, their growth is formalized and lifestyle made formulaic. They need space and time that is free from our influences, and free from others. They need space and time where all that they hear is the chatter of their own minds. Uncluttered time, uncluttered from our wishes for them, however well-meaning they are.

At some stage I was really provoked by someone to answer this question: Who you would like your son to be? So I answered: I know that my ambition for my son is really my ambition for myself. If you hear me saying that I would like him to be a writer and a peace-maker, you know that this is really what I want for myself so I will be pushing myself to create the best sentences I can and pushing myself to learn the art of conflict-resolution, I will not be training my child in it. All that I need to do is to give him space for his own dreams and ambitions to emerge and flourish. Freedom comes first and our ambitions for our children can really lead us to understand what ambitions we have for ourselves.

So if they want to run, let them run.

Thrive

spring

“My mission in life is not merely to survive, but to thrive; and to do so with some passion, some compassion, some humor, and some style.” Dr Maya Angelou

Have you found your way to thrive?

 

Self-acceptance

A rose

“A red rose is not selfish because it wants to be a red rose. It would be horribly selfish if it wanted all the other flowers in the garden to be both red and roses.” – Oscar Wilde