Freedom comes first


When my son was born many people were asking me about my wishes for him, about who I would like him to become, about who I would like him to be. As much as I like people to ask me questions, I disliked being asked about this one. It disagreed with my conviction that these little beings are separate beings and it is to freedom that we are bringing them up and that it is freedom that first and foremost we should allow them to experience. You see, our children are institutionalized from such an early age, their growth is formalized and lifestyle made formulaic. They need space and time that is free from our influences, and free from others. They need space and time where all that they hear is the chatter of their own minds. Uncluttered time, uncluttered from our wishes for them, however well-meaning they are.

At some stage I was really provoked by someone to answer this question: Who you would like your son to be? So I answered: I know that my ambition for my son is really my ambition for myself. If you hear me saying that I would like him to be a writer and a peace-maker, you know that this is really what I want for myself so I will be pushing myself to create the best sentences I can and pushing myself to learn the art of conflict-resolution, I will not be training my child in it. All that I need to do is to give him space for his own dreams and ambitions to emerge and flourish. Freedom comes first and our ambitions for our children can really lead us to understand what ambitions we have for ourselves.

So if they want to run, let them run.

3 thoughts on “Freedom comes first

  1. The greatest gifts we can give our children I believe are 1. roots….a foundation of love, acceptance, showing by example the fence ie of acceptable human behaviour always emphasising LOVE, BEAUTY etc. Every child must know there is a fence something concrete and positive. 2. Wings……….freedom to be free first to be a child, then to be the teenager, and adult they were born to be……still mindful always of the fence and the love home has instilled in them. The acceptable patterns of behaviour must be taught from birth in the home. (I could not agree more about the pressures today on our young. Many are being moulded into ‘little adults’ before they have experienced the wonder, the freedom the sheer joy of childhood imagination. We all need to be as ‘little children’ ourselves so we can experience with them the absolute joy of childhood. Never to be moulded into anyone’s image of what their parent, teachers etc want them to BE. Grandchildren bring this great joy back into life. (Many childcare place in Oz are really moulding the children into educated robots with agenda formed by governments.). Freedom of childhood is a passion in my life. Thanks for post.!

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  2. When my kids were small I gave them a lot of freedom to just be who they are. We lived on a little farm way out and they didn’t have lots of toys. But they were so creative, and they continue to be today.


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