Tag: happiness

About a boy who could not feel happiness

Once upon a time, there was a boy who could not feel happiness when other people were joyful. He always responded with a minimizing commentary or disapproving face. He saw others smiling, chatting, playing and appreciating a warm cup of tea and a free biscuit on a table but he could not reciprocate. with a smile. His eyes were always stern, lip corners dropped, body posture irritated. ‘How can they be so happy?’ he was wondering all the time. ‘How can they be so happy when so little is done?’

He was very puzzled but fortunately quite capable of self-reflection too.

‘Am I envious of joy?’ He thought to himself appealing to his inner wisdom but could not satisfy himself with an honest answer.

Tired from his own thoughts and worries, he went to a nearby park where an elderly lady was sitting on a bench feeding birds with seeds. She was smiling and talking to the birds. She was happy. The boy got irritated again. ‘How can she be happy just like that? Feeding birds?’ And then he got curious as he recognized the feeling. ‘Miss, could I feed the birds with you?’ he asked.

‘Of course.’ She answered passing him a bag of seeds. He started smiling but then as soon as he felt his own smile he got irritated with himself for smiling.

‘Miss, why am I angry with myself for smiling.’

‘I think it is something to do with your inner mirrors. It is because of your adult inner mirrors.’

‘Are they broken?’

‘Did you notice?’

Story and photography: Alicja Pyszka-Franceschini, 2025. Copying without the explicit permission from the author is not permitted.


			


	



			
				


	

		
Christmas Mirror

		
	

		


	

		
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If you were standing in front of the mirror that shows the greatest desire of your heart, what would it reveal to you? Do you know yourself well enough to know what that would be?


If we discard the need/requirement/fad to be slimmer or wealthier, what would remain?


If we remove the musts and shoulds, is it possible that the mirror would show what we already have, who we already are? Is there any likelihood that it would reveal nothing but what exists already, that it would show you that you are already very very happy? Even though things are not picture-perfect, there is an aspect of your life that is making it what you’ve forever wanted it to be.


Is it possible that if you would look into that mirror today, you would gasp with awe as you would notice that what you experience contains the very happiness that you had once hoped for.  Isn’t that magical?


Happy Christmas season, my friend. You are a gift to the world.


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Dreaming together

		
	

		


	

		
dreaming together 2


Every so often I’d like to find out what great spiritual leaders have to say about families. A while ago I came across a quote from a sermon of Pope Francis in which he urged families to cultivate a habit of dreaming together. I thought that it was a wonderful message to send to both parents and children. Dreaming together – we’ve got to find the time and the opportunity to do it.


In our house, dreaming together sometimes means planning our trips and holidays, organising our week or saving money for a house-improvement project, but other times it actually means sharing our enthusiasm or crazy needs, reaffirming who we are and what we want to do and who we want to be. How otherwise are we to learn who our family members actually are? How otherwise are they going to learn who we are?


This is to some extent how I see love.


Loving someone is to love their dreams.


My dream for this coming week is to fly safely to Poland (and back) to find out what my family over there dreams about. Although I do not have a white beard or red outfit, I might still be able to make things happen.


Now I’m off to pack and quiz my husband about his dreams. Hopefully, he’ll say that I’m still one of them. ;)


Do zobaczenia! (‘See you soon’ in Polish)


 

			


	



			
				


	

		
Follow your child’s gaze

		
	

		


	

		
birds


Just before the night sets in I sit down on a bed with my little boy, we surround ourselves with a number of picture books and we look through the images and I read to him. Depending on how busy our day was and how alert we both are this little ritual of ours lasts from 15 minutes up to an hour. I love this daily encounter with different adventures, poems and stories but most of all I love this very peaceful time with my child and the feeling of unity that it creates.


Years ago I was wondering what it is about reading or rather following a particular story which creates this feeling of togetherness. I decided that the answer partially is held in our gaze. We look in the same direction. We see things together.


When we go about our days with my son I try to follow his gaze. I try to look where he looks so that I get to know him better, so that I learn what his interests are. I hope that through this he will find courage to stay true to his interests later on in life and to be sure that whichever direction he will turn to, I will be watching this with interest too.


As part of my own development I often listen to podcasts and interviews on creativity, curiosity and calling in adult life and I like to link them to how I see childhood. Over these very first years of my son’s life I have formulated a very firm conviction that at the moment, at the very moment of being and becoming, curiosity is his only calling.


I owe it to his future to respect this.


Check the podcasts that inspired me to write the post above: http://robbell.com/portfolio/robcast/

			


	



			
				


	

		
Initiate growth inside your family

		
	

		


	

		
flowers


These very first years of family life are full of challenges and negotiations that once resolved are actually incredibly satisfying. I like to think of a family as a unit in a state of growth. So when we hibernate for too long, we ask ourselves which of the spheres of life we have recently or over time neglected. In fact, I like to do this very easy exercise in which next to a life sphere we discuss ideas on how to improve it. It is a very simple exercise that, if you wish to do it for your own family, is best done individually for each member and then together as a whole. 



Life Sphere:


Spiritual  – effort to make time for meditation, reflection, prayer, quiet space in our busy liveflowers2s


Humane  – effort to make time for helping others outside the family and each other within the family


Emotional – effort to make time for cultivating positive emotions (love, kindness, compassion) and working through the negative ones, scheduling activities that bring about positive emotions


Physical – effort to make time for sport, rest, affection, cooking nutritious food, looking after our bodies


Intellectual – effort to make time for cultural activities (book, cinema, theatre) and stretching our minds, problem-solving activities, formal or informal study


Social – effort to make time for socializing, family-and-community gatherings, family conversation, celebrating, events in your own city, etc.


Environmental – effort to make time for engaging with nature, improving our homes or local areas, repairing the house, making our immediate environment pleasant 



When it comes to family growth and well-being I have got one belief: every effort that you’ll make in the space of one year will deliver its shoots the next and if cultivated it will fully blossom in years to come. Do not get dissuaded or discouraged by the instant gratification culture, everything that is worth doing, is worth doing even if the fruit will show later in life.


Have a lovely family life!


This exercise has been inspired by the exercises promoted within Cognitive-Behavioral Psychology. If you’d like to learn more about it, you may like to read: Cognitive Behavioral Therapy: Teach Yourself (2012) by Christine Wilding or any other book or introduction to Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy.