“You will learn a lot about yourself if you stretch in the direction of goodness, of bigness, of kindness, of forgiveness, of emotional bravery. Be a warrior for love.”
― Cheryl Strayed, Tiny Beautiful Things
Tag: culture
Photo-essays from Milan (1): Street & Street Art
Last month we went for a short trip to Milan to visit our son’s great grandmother. Milan is a beautiful place known all too well for il Duomo, its cathedral, and for its fashion. But there is much more to Milan as is to every city so I’ll be doing a series of photo-essays on this blog from our Milan trip. Just for a pure enjoyment of travel and photography. :)
Open to them
“If you don’t make the time to work on creating the life you want, you’re eventually going to be forced to spend a LOT of time dealing with the life that you don’t want.” Kevin Ngo
I do not usually like quotes that are somewhat threatening in tone, but I do like this one as it reminds me to be responsible for looking after my life. My life is in my hands and I need to give it meaning and purpose if I want us to flourish.
But looking after my daily life is just part of my personal responsibility. Another part is to make meaning out of my past.
”My mother was the love of my life.” – is a quote from Cheryl Strayed that I embrace warmly.
I adore this sentence so much for so many reasons but mainly for how well it counters our blame-oriented culture of today, the culture that seeks to blame our parents for who we have or have not become. The culture that renders us deficient in will and efficacy because of who our parents were or weren’t. The culture that teaches us to point fingers at the people whose youth, intentions and histories we cannot possibly experience. I think it’s good to work through childhood traumas, it’s good to examine our responses to them, but I do not think that we should succumb to the culture of blame. Because by doing that, we see our childhood as poorer than it actually was. I saw people being poisoned by the blame-oriented mindset more than by their actual childhood experiences. I saw people being stuck for years because of it. ”My mother was the love of my life.” – this sentence does the opposite. It gives meaning and sense to our childhoods. It shows that adults are fragile but also wonderfully capable of loving each other. Capable of loving deeply and dearly, and isn’t it what we all want? To be capable of such love for many people in our lives.
Sometimes I wonder what’s the purpose of the blame-oriented culture. To break, to divide, to render someone insecure. To cause grief? I know that many people would not be able to be so candid about their own mothers as Cheryl Strayed was. I know that for many their childhood experiences are too painful to even hear such words being spoken. But this quote is not only about the mother, right? But about the loves of our life. Beyond the question of our relationship with our parents, it nudges us to ask: What are the loves of our life? What can we do to be truly open to them?
La Befana
Happy Epiphany!
So today we celebrate the Three Wise Men visiting Jesus as a small child. Our little one has also had his own visitor: a very old lady with broken shoes and poor clothes who traveled in the night on her broomstick to leave some small and delicious presents. It turned out that I was the only mischievous child in our house as I was the only one who found onion and garlic in my stocking while my men were indulging in glorious Panettone (paneton in the Milanese language)!
The card with the Wise Men encourages us to remember the Middle East and the whole image evokes thoughts of humble respect and prudence. The three scholars bowed in respect before something much bigger than themselves, God Almighty. Then, they received a gift of prudence to go back to their own countries choosing a path that would make them avoid Herod. This is a story about guidance, respect and prudence. May we all embrace them this year.
Happy Epiphany!
This year I will be posting towards the end of each month. With my very best wishes in this New Year. x Alicja
As far as our curiosity takes us
Christmas is abundant in culture in our little home. We’re a trilingual household, with Polish, Italian and English being spoken between us and the members of our family, and so when we celebrate Christmas, there are many customs and traditions to follow and weave into the Christmas season. I often ask myself to what extent it is possible to be a multicultural family, how far can we go in being three at once: Polish, Italian and English.
It’s been only recently that I came up with the answer to the how far question:
We can go as far as our curiosity goes.
For is this not what identity is? All that we’ve been thus far and all where our curiosity takes us to.
I feel that the more we cultivate the three languages, the deeper we dive into the cultures that accompany them. It’s either following one’s interest and enjoying it or living in a state of permanent nostalgia for what we once were (or what we once hoped to become). It’s interesting that we can either answer our curiosity or be saddened by it.
If you follow Elizabeth Gilbert on Facebook, you will learn a lot from her about curiosity-driven life. I love her idea and now it is a perfect moment for me to embrace it. A perfect moment to start learning, exploring and loving our three cultures.
So this is where this blog is going to venture now.
From curiosity to cultures. :)
But where was I… oh yes… traditions and customs. I proclaimed myself a custodian of cultures this Christmas and although we celebrated in England, I made a typical Polish dinner on Dec 24: carp, beetroot soup, ginger bread and pasta with poppy seeds, nuts and raisins. Just before Christmas our Italian friends came over for a short visit. It was interesting for me to learn that where they are from in the south of Italy, they also celebrate Christmas starting on Dec 24 eating fish, opening presents and going to church at midnight. This is different to how my husband’s family celebrated it in the north of Italy – with the main emphasis being on Dec 25. If you happen to be from the north of Italy, I am curious to know if this is still true for you.
Children benefit greatly from celebrating multicultural Christmas. Not only because of the different foods, customs and music but also because presents are given in different places of the world at different times which can mean more presents, or if you think like me, it would mean that not everything needs to be opened from everyone on the same day and the joy can be spread throughout the weeks. In Poland we tend to give each other the main presents on Dec 24 after our main Christmas dinner, but also something small a bit earlier in the month on Dec 6 for St Nicholas’ Day (Mikołajki). On Dec 6 my mother used to put some nuts, oranges, a piece of chocolate into our shoes and sometimes a little practical winter present like a pair of gloves, warm tights or a hat. Nothing too fancy – the present was just meant to bring a smile to our faces and warmth to our bodies. Practical and simple. In England, the main presents are opened on the 25th and in Italy, something small is also given on the 6th of January, for la Befana – Befana is an old witch-like woman who brings candies and fruit to good children and garlic and coal to the naughty ones. If you are a cook, you are lucky, you can purposefully misbehave and you will get garlic and fuel with which to start cooking many of your pasta sauces. :)
Have a great curiosity-driven year!
Where do you think your curiosity will take you in 2016?
Postcards Without Stamps 