Category: Blank Space

The Uncertainty of Parenthood

Postcards Without Stamps

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When my son was born, I was overwhelmed by the enormity of tender-hearted love that I felt but I also felt shocked, I mean TOTALLY UNPREPARED for the amount of anxiety and uncertainty that characterizes these very early moments and then the subsequent years of parenthood. This uncertainty is caused by different circumstances for each one of us, sometimes it’s lonely mothering, a child’s illness, a changing work situation or a move to a different country, and sometimes the well-known sleepless nights or feeding problems, and sometimes by all these things at once. The fear and anxiety is present and experienced by all – it’s the given and the universal to our parenting experiences.

We deal with this uncertainty in many different ways, we cling to books, we cling to people, we cling to ideas, we cling to our identities or we withdraw, we withdraw from books, withdraw from people…

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Sweetness and Setbacks

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When I’m going through a period of strong self-doubt I always reach for my camera. My camera is my reassurance tool. It always makes me bounce back from failures and depressing news. The lens works for me as a bad-to-good news filter. It allows me to remember that really there is so much sweetness in life, sweetness that we make ourselves oblivious to when our minds are anxious. When I take my camera out, I re-focus.  I see the treats and the treasures of our daily life and at times I even look at myself with a more positive eye – have you noticed that smiling to the camera makes us more playful almost instantly? And ironically, play makes us find more solutions to our problems then anxiety does. How do you cultivate a playful mind?

A few reflections on the days after the referendum

Again

Like many of you I was shocked with the result of the referendum on Friday. In fact I was so unhappy that I could find in myself nothing but an angry voice. Truth be told I was never as angry in my entire life as when I heard of the Prime Minister’s resignation. Then, a day later, after I vented some of my frustration on social media, I realised one thing: how difficult it is to be kind when we’re angry. How difficult… it is.. to be kind when we’re angry. I think it is quite a powerful realisation. One that probably would help us all in dealing with and processing changes that we might not want go through.

On the Saturday and Sunday I was fortunate to be with family and friends celebrating the christenings of two wonderful little girls and on the Saturday when we were driving south with my family, I was thinking about the people who for the last forty or more years worked for European cooperation and strongly believed in its core values and purpose in the world. I felt the tragedy that they were going through, I saw the debris of their collapsed world and I heard the question that they were perhaps asking themselves: Was it all in vein? And my answer to them was: Don’t even think for one minute that it was in vein. It would be much greater a personal tragedy if for forty years you were working against your core values. That, to me, would be a tragedy.

So here came another realisation to me that actually it doesn’t matter if things fail in the end, but what matters is that you still want to commit and create. As Elizabeth Gilbert once said: Your ego is wounded but your soul is fine, your soul just says: Do you want to do it again? Do you still want to work for those values? That’s the key question.

 

A Prayer

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Dawlish Warren, Devon, UK

 

I am praying tonight that on this Friday morning my family will wake up in a more united world. I pray that we will not waste the efforts of people who for the last sixty years have been relentlessly working for the peace, connection and cooperation of the countries of Europe. I pray that the People of the United Kingdom will go to the Ballot Box with open hearts and will acknowledge that together we are the peacemakers and the creators. I pray that tomorrow the People will vote to remain in the European Union.

There is no peace without the mutual commitment to it. There is none.

A letter to a child

A reminder to myself :)

Postcards Without Stamps

A little child looking with curiosity at something

Dear Little Child

So you are here. In this world full of beauty and wonder. On your road to discovery and growth. There are many rules and principles that you’ll learn about while looking for the truth. But before you start uncovering them, before you embark on your own journey, these ones are worth grasping…

  1. Love people. See the good in them but have your boundaries. Keep some things as sacred and do not let others trample on them. They are your foundations, your values and your core.
  2. You can help. You are not powerless. There’s always something that you can do. It will be meaningful however small it is.
  3. Work through sadness. Feel the pain. Acknowledge it. Take a deep breath, pause, understand where the pain came from and where it sits but don’t let it overwhelm you. It’s okay to be sad sometimes. It’s okay to be disappointed…

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