It’s just a short visit. You catch the aroma of coffee and cake. Everything is so well-prepared and inviting that a mixture of both guilt and regret stirs inside you. “I’m just popping round – I won’t be able to stay for too long.” The instinct tells you that the generosity with which you are treated deserves much more of your time. You’d like to stay for longer but it’s not possible. The schedule, commitments, busy life. You feel embarrassed about how little time you can offer to your host so next time when invited you don’t come at all or you keep on rescheduling the visit.

Here’s the alternative. Brief visits serve their purpose. They are needed. They are meaningful. Bonds are built through them. Caring for each other is established. Just through asking a few questions. “How’s your new orchid growing?” “How are the kids doing?” These visits…

When my son was born, I was overwhelmed by the enormity of tender-hearted love that I felt but I also felt shocked, I mean TOTALLY UNPREPARED for the amount of anxiety and uncertainty that characterizes these very early moments and then the subsequent years of parenthood. This uncertainty is caused by different circumstances for each one of us, sometimes it’s lonely mothering, a child’s illness, a changing work situation or a move to a different country, and sometimes the well-known sleepless nights or feeding problems, and sometimes by all these things at once. The fear and anxiety is present and experienced by all – it’s the given and the universal to our parenting experiences.

We deal with this uncertainty in many different ways, we cling to books, we cling to people, we cling to ideas, we cling to our identities or we withdraw, we withdraw from books, withdraw from people…