Love Stories and a Responsive Reader

I used to write love stories when I was small where I would set myself as one of the protagonists, of course ;) and then hid the notebook in a secret place that would quickly be discovered by a very avid reader of my prose… my younger sister.

I knew she was doing it… rummaging through my drawers and devouring the stories in seconds. I knew that sometimes she was mocking me a little… I knew that there were times when she found my writing all too cheesy and emotional but still… she was reading it… and I felt privileged by her interest in them.

I think I understand now why I felt like that. You see… the moment she giggled or rolled her eyes while reading: “I waited a second and he kissed me gently”, she ratified my work.

The moment her mind travelled out of our country when the story said: “We went together to meet them in Ireland”, she endorsed it.

The moment she found consolation in reading that: “There is always a new beginning… and a better end.”, she validated my work.

The laugh, the mind wandering and the sigh of relief – here’s how the work of writers comes to life. The reader doesn’t need to like it to respond to it.

Released From The Clutter (image and article)

I attempted to do the impossible over Christmas – I set out to part with one-third of my belongings. When I announced it to my husband and our toddler my husband worryingly replied: ‘But that means that one of us needs to go.’ :)

Well.. not quite.

All that went was the evidence of overcommitment: unread books, unused items, not-yet-or-not-often-worn clothes, forgotten home decorations, disliked music, excessive stationery and other neglected bits and pieces. I was very happy to remove them from my sight and give us back the space where we could hear our thoughts without having our attention pulled in many disparate directions. We needed a home that will stop us from being preoccupied with what we haven’t done and instead allow us to do what we want to do. Do you have a space like that? Space where you can stay relaxed but focused? Space that calms you down but at the same time allows you to move forward?

I see some beautiful images online of vast and glorious terrains and I imagine how easy it is to breathe and think in those spaces. Uncluttered by our engineering and unwanted items. Those spaces are physical representations of the mind that we want to have. Is this why we so eagerly appreciate photographs of single items that just sit there caressed by light, privileged by the space? Or photographs of open spaces… territories where we are free to wander and explore? They awaken a craving in us… don’t they? They draw us in.

That is why I decided I want to defend the spaciousness of our house, protect it from the jumble, disorder and confusion… decolonize our province and reinstate its original beauty and order. It needs to be liberated from the clutter. And we need that too.

I will not steal from the giving pot

Every January while budgeting for the year I remind myself of what my mother taught me: Don’t save on giving. The giving pot should stay full. The truth is one: there would be no justice in the world if we didn’t give.

We are lucky in the west… we are wealthy… although with all the temptations available it’s so easy to see ourselves as struggling, to wish for more, and to fear of not having, of being worse-off, of living in smaller houses, the fears of x, y, z. The list is long. This fear has been injected in us with a thick syringe and has been fed and fueled… so that we look up and dream of what others have and what others do.

They don’t make you feel rich, these dreams. They don’t make you feel lucky but I am telling you here: You are rolling in it.

If a few days, weeks, months of saving mean that you can afford a luxury (a new phone, branded items, a computer, travel etc.), you are rich. If you feed your family, pay your bills, and maintain your car or travel round with minimal budgeting effort, you are rich. If that’s your situation, there is no need to cut on the giving budget, there is no need to cut on sharing the wealth.

The reality is that despite the inflation, in spite of rises in regular expenses, regardless of our dreams to live bigger and better, we can still give and if this year is a bit harder than the last one we can save to give!

This is not a new concept. It has been happening in the past. It has been exercised. There are families in the world who save the best of their foods over months for their visitors. There are children in the world who are saving every coin they get so that they can give their mothers’ presents for their birthdays. There are single parents and pensioners who limit their purchases so that they can support a cause that they believe in. There are people who just watch their daily expenses so that they can donate, so that they can contribute, so that they can do their part. Some of these people have to be strict about how much electricity they use, how much milk they buy, how many showers they take, how many pairs of shoes they buy. They go to great lengths so that they can take part in this great giving scheme while for so many of us saving to give is just a purchasing delay. If giving means as much as waiting for longer, it’s not a sacrifice. It’s justice.

Let’s stay generous in 2014. It’s a good rule to live by.

It was lonely there (about blogging)

I looked at this photo of an umbrella left in the garden and I thought that I should write a post about passing, death and loneliness. But I cannot, as in fact, this week I cannot stop myself from baking cakes. I’m celebrating.

I am celebrating the start of this blog. The moment of finding courage to write. The second when I re-discovered my voice and the minute I became daring enough to share some photographs with a wider audience. Okay, I know this is far from perfect. I understand that there is a long way before me, writing-wise, and photo-wise, but it’s a start and if there is at least one person that I encouraged today to smile, pause or ponder, I’ve achieved something.

I am not lion-hearted. In fact, I am a very fearful lady. But I believe that growth, community and friendship comes about through sharing. Sharing interests, talents, problems, passions, laughs, food, worries and experiences. Sharing is necessary. Without it there is no community and only a slow progress of thought. Sharing is always an offer, an offer to engage, an offer to respond, an offer to reciprocate and get in touch. Regardless of language skills, of positions, irrespective of denomination, profession or age, sharing is an invitation to a dialogue.

The fear of judgment and criticism is what stops us from making contributions, from showing and submitting our work, from speaking or making a statement. The moment you share, you position yourself, but you never position yourself forever, so there is no need to worry about being mistaken or being imperfect. The position that you take is the here and now position. It’s alright to develop views with time, it’s alright to change. To give yourself time to improve. Others can help, can comment, can give us courage and appreciate our work. They can enjoy with us our strengths and imperfections and we can cherish their ideas and find further inspiration in them.

We all have underdeveloped skills, underdeveloped thoughts, underdeveloped interests. There’s no need to conceal them, no need to hide them from others. The moment we hide ourselves is the moment when we reject ourselves. If we reject what’s the weakest in us, how are we supposed to look after those who are more vulnerable than us? Our children. Are we going to tell them to hide until they are perfect?

So today I am celebrating. With a cake. The moment of emergence from the hiding place. It was lonely there. Glad I’m out.

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