I looked at this photo of an umbrella left in the garden and I thought that I should write a post about passing, death and loneliness. But I cannot, as in fact, this week I cannot stop myself from baking cakes. I’m celebrating.
I am celebrating the start of this blog. The moment of finding courage to write. The second when I re-discovered my voice and the minute I became daring enough to share some photographs with a wider audience. Okay, I know this is far from perfect. I understand that there is a long way before me, writing-wise, and photo-wise, but it’s a start and if there is at least one person that I encouraged today to smile, pause or ponder, I’ve achieved something.
I am not lion-hearted. In fact, I am a very fearful lady. But I believe that growth, community and friendship comes about through sharing. Sharing interests, talents, problems, passions, laughs, food, worries and experiences. Sharing is necessary. Without it there is no community and only a slow progress of thought. Sharing is always an offer, an offer to engage, an offer to respond, an offer to reciprocate and get in touch. Regardless of language skills, of positions, irrespective of denomination, profession or age, sharing is an invitation to a dialogue.
The fear of judgment and criticism is what stops us from making contributions, from showing and submitting our work, from speaking or making a statement. The moment you share, you position yourself, but you never position yourself forever, so there is no need to worry about being mistaken or being imperfect. The position that you take is the here and now position. It’s alright to develop views with time, it’s alright to change. To give yourself time to improve. Others can help, can comment, can give us courage and appreciate our work. They can enjoy with us our strengths and imperfections and we can cherish their ideas and find further inspiration in them.
We all have underdeveloped skills, underdeveloped thoughts, underdeveloped interests. There’s no need to conceal them, no need to hide them from others. The moment we hide ourselves is the moment when we reject ourselves. If we reject what’s the weakest in us, how are we supposed to look after those who are more vulnerable than us? Our children. Are we going to tell them to hide until they are perfect?
So today I am celebrating. With a cake. The moment of emergence from the hiding place. It was lonely there. Glad I’m out.