Tag: Motherhood

2014 – a year without a luxury

A few days ago I committed myself not to buy anything new in 2014 and to share the money saved with people who normally cannot afford new things (or just things). This initiative has been started by Sash, the writer of Inked in Colour, and I decided to make it part and parcel of my Caring 2014 project. I promised that I would give more details on how I intend to go about it. Sash has recently explained some of her rules so I am now in a good position to explain what this project will mean for my family.

I have spent the last few days thinking about this idea, pondering its possibilities and limitations and primarily who should be affected by this initiative. Should I involve my husband, should I consider things for my child as well, should I only focus on my purchasing habits? I decided now that I will not buy anything new for myself and my son and for the house, with one exception: my husband is half-way through fixing our kitchen at the moment and we have already ordered and purchased items for this purpose and thus I am excluding him and his DIY projects from my resolution. So when I say that I will not buy new things for the house I mean: decorations, blankets, pillows, candles, frames, calendars, flower pots, pictures, bits and pieces that I normally indulge in. Food, medicine, health and safety and hygiene items will not be affected by this challenge as it would be unreasonable to go without them.

Kitchen

So how will this project affect my purchasing habits? I am not going to buy any: books, cosmetics, clothes, CDs, shoes, jewellery, electronic equipment, stationery, films, notebooks… and my biggest pleasures in life.. cups of coffee in coffee shops and sweets… for once I want someone else to have the privilege of affording a cappuccino and a muffin every so often. I will also not buy any toys, gadgets, room accessories for my son and will try to use the clothes and shoes that he has already got (growth permitting). We’ll see if we have enough for this year.

I was asked if nothing new means that I can buy second-hand? My aim is not to buy anything. I do think that it’s wonderful to give a second life to a product. I see lots of good in buying used items, renovating them, restoring their original function and beauty or even improving their look. But I do have some doubts about buying second-hand goods and will share them with you in a separate post. In its original form this initiative allows for buying from second-hand shops. I intend to reuse, re-purpose, mend, sew and clean things that I have to make them last throughout this year and hopefully beyond it. I suspect that in doing so I will stop perceiving chores as unpleasant and burdensome routines but rather as much needed daily acts of care. So in many ways I see this project as transformative not only of my purchasing habits but also of my home and character.

How will I measure what I have saved? How will I know how much to donate? I am well aware of some of my purchasing habits and this awareness helps. For example, I would normally buy a cup of coffee and a sweet every time I meet a friend in town and when I travel away from home… so now every time when these happen, I will put the money that I would spend on those treats into the giving pot. For my other things, I will need to review my past purchases and planned purchases for this year to examine how much my indulgences are worth. I must trust that what I previously spent on luxuries would have been typical. I’ll decide in due course which charity, family or individuals I will donate to and will present rationale for my choice at some later stage.

So what can you expect from Postcards this year? Stories of success and potential failures, stories of people who care, debates on buying or not buying, reflections on different ways of caring for our families, relationships, health and the environment. Sometimes it will be an article with text, other times just pure photo(journalism). I am not setting any limitations on myself how often I will post. It won’t be daily, it might be weekly or biweekly… when the ideas mature.

All in all, I’ve got an impression that things will become much more manageable in 2014. I hope it will be like this for you too.

What are your thoughts about this initiative? Do you want to try?

Nothing New – 2014 Challenge

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There are some initiatives that I just cannot resist supporting. This wonderful Aussie mama, Sash from Inked in Colour, has just started one of them. Motivated by greater good and caring, she decided to dedicate 2014 to deliberate living and in so doing she resolved NOT to buy anything new in 2014. Since the themes for Postcards without stamps for this year are those of Caring (The Caring 2014 Project) and Saving to Give, I am jumping enthusiastically on Sash’s bandwagon and am promising myself not to buy anything new in 2014. What I want to do is to transfer the capability to buy new things to those who normally cannot afford it. I don’t want to put the economy out of joint, just gently change who buys – at least just for a year. I want to care for what I’ve got and benefit those that are not as fortunate as I am. Care and Share – these are my two words for this year. The Nothing New initiative will enable me live by these two words.

Are you up for the challenge? At least for a month, a fortnight, one day? Think about it. I’ll write more about how I intend to do it in my next post.

This logo above is from Inked in Colour

Flowersathome

IMG_4698czeresniebw Homemade cakecotton again... how soft and cute

Love, Alicja

Let the toddler play

toddler and the guitar_

It’s never too early to introduce music in their lives. :)

A letter to a child

A little child looking with curiosity at something

Dear Little Child

So you are here. In this world full of beauty and wonder. On your road to discovery and growth. There are many rules and principles that you’ll learn about while looking for the truth. But before you start uncovering them, before you embark on your own journey, these ones are worth grasping…

  1. Love people. See the good in them but have your boundaries. Keep some things as sacred and do not let others trample on them. They are your foundations, your values and your core.
  2. You can help. You are not powerless. There’s always something that you can do. It will be meaningful however small it is.
  3. Work through sadness. Feel the pain. Acknowledge it. Take a deep breath, pause, understand where the pain came from and where it sits but don’t let it overwhelm you. It’s okay to be sad sometimes. It’s okay to be disappointed. It’s okay to cry.
  4. Make space. Try to close the matters of the day in a day. Don’t let them linger. You’ve got a beautiful mind. Don’t clutter your thoughts. Keep it tidy to give yourself plenty of mental space for growth.
  5. Live your passion. Just do it. Without having ‘the right’ things. Remember that you don’t need the best computer to write. Just a pencil.
  6. Learn commitment. Choose things that are important to you and give them your best. Rest when you are tired. We all have and need fallow times. Use that time to nourish yourself. With a good book, with a change of place, with good food. When you feel empty or deprived of all strengths, spend some time in the wild. Nature always gives. It always listens. Your inner voice will speak the loudest there.
  7. Value your parents. Keep on talking to your parents, don’t stop learning from them. Don’t dismiss them. Fundamentally, they have experiences that you haven’t got. They can still teach you something.
  8. Choose your partner for life wisely. A good relationship will open you to new ways of seeing and understanding, will make you stronger and more generous, will give you the courage to explore and trust in your talents and abilities and will do the same to your loved-one. A good relationship enriches both people in it.
  9. Work hard. Be prepared to go the extra mile when the situation requires you to do so. This is how you stretch. This is how you push the boundaries of your ability and personality. This is how you build your character and your confidence.
  10. Appreciate. Culture, society, food, art and your origins. You are part of this amazing and diverse world. Respect people’s beliefs and be aware of your own ones. Make people welcome. Ask questions. Be responsive. Show that you care. Protect the weak and always congratulate people on their achievements. No matter what their position is, strong or weak, show that you are with them.
  11. Delight in life. Appreciate friendship and beauty. Develop a sense of humour. Dance, sing and chat about things enthusiastically. Don’t be afraid to send your good energy to the world. The world needs it. Don’t lock it, let it go. It refills itself pretty quickly.
  12. Trust yourself. Trust your mind and your heart. Together they will help you with making the right choices. If in doubt, imagine yourself as your daughter or your sister or brother and ask yourself: ‘Is this what I wish for her/him?’

Dear Little Child, with time you’ll add more to this list. Your experience will shape you in different ways. You will gather pieces of wisdom that you will want to share. Here’s your space for them:

13.

14.

15.

16.

17.

18.

19.

20.

21.

What would you have on your list?

Family Life: New Spaces (click to read)

Child in public places(1)

Where does a child belong? Where is his or her space? At school?  At home? In their room?

I’d like to think of children as belonging to a wider space, to things larger than their family, to contexts atypical of the one at home. To my surprise, when children are exposed to new environments their responses tend to be the same: they enjoy being elsewhere, they love noticing and experiencing new places. The need to wander, explore, touch and appropriate the new is in them. It’s inherent. It’s ingrained. But do we really and truly understand this need? Have you ever walked through the city and looked for a parking space for your child? The one that’s assigned for them. So that they do not disturb? So that they do not intrude?

Places and spaces have their purposes: some are just practical and comfortable, others do much more, they bring about perspective, tranquility and wisdom. Let’s allow children to be present in all of them.

Kedleston Hall, Derbyshire. Permission granted by The National Trust.
Kedleston Hall, Derbyshire. Permission granted by The National Trust.