Tag: Family Life

A house and a home

home

 

I used to like a bit of chaos. Chaos was my state of choice. Chaos on my desk, in my bag, in my drawers and in my notebook. I found chaos conducive to work, especially for creative and innovative work… in a way I still do… the chaotic medley of thoughts… I trust them to organise themselves eventually… I trust them to come together… to create a coherent text.

The opposite is true of my house. I notice that I become less and less tolerant of a messy house. Perhaps it’s because since my son was born I spend more time at home than in the past and being, working and playing in the space that’s cluttered and covered with dust is just not fun and so I notice that the subject of a clean space appears more and more often in my conversations and my body starts leaning forward with interest when my friends and acquaintances report on their house cleaning adventures.

With the spring in its full strength, myriads of sun spells hit the surfaces in our house and all the negligence in house caring is exposed. This week therefore I am trying to use every possible minute to turn our house round and make it pleasant to be in. The windows and curtains have been washed, the surfaces, furniture, lamp shades and even ceilings have been freed from dust. The garden has also received its fair share of time and slowly space is being made for summer shrubs, herbs and flowers. This appearing neatness is making me quite happy and I hope that we’ll be able to do much more in the coming week. Our kitchen renovation project has made us slightly antisocial over the last few months and now when a significant part of it is done and many pieces of wood, screws, tools and boxes have disappeared I feel that our house can safely re-open to visitors. To me one of the main attractions of having your own space is that you can invite others to share it with you, to laugh, to talk, to eat there together. Guests play their part in turning our houses into homes, don’t they?

 

Let the toddler play

toddler and the guitar_

It’s never too early to introduce music in their lives. :)

A letter to a child

A little child looking with curiosity at something

Dear Little Child

So you are here. In this world full of beauty and wonder. On your road to discovery and growth. There are many rules and principles that you’ll learn about while looking for the truth. But before you start uncovering them, before you embark on your own journey, these ones are worth grasping…

  1. Love people. See the good in them but have your boundaries. Keep some things as sacred and do not let others trample on them. They are your foundations, your values and your core.
  2. You can help. You are not powerless. There’s always something that you can do. It will be meaningful however small it is.
  3. Work through sadness. Feel the pain. Acknowledge it. Take a deep breath, pause, understand where the pain came from and where it sits but don’t let it overwhelm you. It’s okay to be sad sometimes. It’s okay to be disappointed. It’s okay to cry.
  4. Make space. Try to close the matters of the day in a day. Don’t let them linger. You’ve got a beautiful mind. Don’t clutter your thoughts. Keep it tidy to give yourself plenty of mental space for growth.
  5. Live your passion. Just do it. Without having ‘the right’ things. Remember that you don’t need the best computer to write. Just a pencil.
  6. Learn commitment. Choose things that are important to you and give them your best. Rest when you are tired. We all have and need fallow times. Use that time to nourish yourself. With a good book, with a change of place, with good food. When you feel empty or deprived of all strengths, spend some time in the wild. Nature always gives. It always listens. Your inner voice will speak the loudest there.
  7. Value your parents. Keep on talking to your parents, don’t stop learning from them. Don’t dismiss them. Fundamentally, they have experiences that you haven’t got. They can still teach you something.
  8. Choose your partner for life wisely. A good relationship will open you to new ways of seeing and understanding, will make you stronger and more generous, will give you the courage to explore and trust in your talents and abilities and will do the same to your loved-one. A good relationship enriches both people in it.
  9. Work hard. Be prepared to go the extra mile when the situation requires you to do so. This is how you stretch. This is how you push the boundaries of your ability and personality. This is how you build your character and your confidence.
  10. Appreciate. Culture, society, food, art and your origins. You are part of this amazing and diverse world. Respect people’s beliefs and be aware of your own ones. Make people welcome. Ask questions. Be responsive. Show that you care. Protect the weak and always congratulate people on their achievements. No matter what their position is, strong or weak, show that you are with them.
  11. Delight in life. Appreciate friendship and beauty. Develop a sense of humour. Dance, sing and chat about things enthusiastically. Don’t be afraid to send your good energy to the world. The world needs it. Don’t lock it, let it go. It refills itself pretty quickly.
  12. Trust yourself. Trust your mind and your heart. Together they will help you with making the right choices. If in doubt, imagine yourself as your daughter or your sister or brother and ask yourself: ‘Is this what I wish for her/him?’

Dear Little Child, with time you’ll add more to this list. Your experience will shape you in different ways. You will gather pieces of wisdom that you will want to share. Here’s your space for them:

13.

14.

15.

16.

17.

18.

19.

20.

21.

What would you have on your list?

Fleeting Visits

It’s just a short visit. You catch the aroma of coffee and cake. Everything is so well-prepared and inviting that a mixture of both guilt and regret stirs inside you. “I’m just popping round – I won’t be able to stay for too long.” The instinct tells you that the generosity with which you are treated deserves much more of your time. You’d like to stay for longer but it’s not possible. The schedule, commitments, busy life. You feel embarrassed about how little time you can offer to your host so next time when invited you don’t come at all or you keep on rescheduling the visit.

Here’s the alternative. Brief visits serve their purpose. They are needed. They are meaningful. Bonds are built through them. Caring for each other is established. Just through asking a few questions. “How’s your new orchid growing?” “How are the kids doing?” These visits strengthen friendship, give rhythm to our relationships. Short duration pulses. Lifebeats.

So you didn’t stay for long? That’s okay. It’s important that you came.

“The Bride Is My Best Friend” (read the postcard)

You got yourself ready for this beautiful event and you perched quietly in a pew awaiting the bride. She is so glamorous, wonderful, wearing a glorious dress. She appears so mature and ready to take the plunge into her new life and confidently waves to her guests and sends them cheeky smiles and winks. You are smiling too, broadly, sincerely, happily… but then all of a sudden you feel this massive uncontrollable trail of tears going down your face… because you remember. … You remember her as a teenager, you remember her being strong and fragile, decisive and doubtful, sad and over the moon. In your head you go through those long private chats, the jokes that you shared, the little notes exchanged in a classroom under the table… secretly … away from the sight of the teacher. You recall the moments when things were super rough, either for you or for her and you are so grateful that in those moments you were the ‘bestest’ of friends. So you look at the bride and wipe your nose and respond to the curious look of one of the guests in a single phrase: ”The bride is my best friend” and in truth you are really the only one who understands what that signifies. The bond. The laughs. The sharing.

So your best friend is getting married. You see her blooming next to her chosen sweetheart and your heart fills up with joy and jubilation. Again, you remember what those secretly exchanged notes were about and you smile knowingly… because you realize… that a dream has just come true.

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