Making Space(s)

PolandI grew up in a village partially surrounded by wide stretches of open land. In a building that comfortably housed my grandparents, my parents, me and my sister. There was a large garden behind our house, with other farm buildings and a field where different things were grown depending on the year. My cousins’ house was on the same yard as ours and not a day passed by without us playing together and visiting each other. I grew up in a warm-hearted community surrounded by beautiful natural spaces.

It wasn’t until I started living in the UK that I realised how strongly my well-being is related to the open countryside and to kind-hearted interactions that come with communal living. I think that these two aspects of life are so strongly ingrained in our systems that without them we stop thriving. Of course, we thrive in some communities and in some spaces more than in others, but it is a task of an adult to figure out exactly where we thrive.

A while ago I listened to a wonderful conversation between Kirsta Tippet and Maria Popova. They discussed a different type of space to the physical and the communal that I mentioned above. They were talking about the moments in our day when our minds are least burdened, the moments when great ideas pop up in our heads, when we shower, for example. The moments of unburdened cognitive space.

I often think about questions related to good leadership. Partially because I think that a role of a mother has to do a lot with good leadership, but also because I would like to be a good leader for myself. (Who wouldn’t like to lead their life beautifully, eh?) I really feel now that in order to be a good leader in our overloaded times we need to be able to create for ourselves and others as much unburdened cognitive space as possible – sometimes that space comes with a reduction of tasks, sometimes with a reduction of judgment that we throw at ourselves and others, and other times just with holidays or a daily meditation. But the most space we get is when we practise all of those… with great quantities of love. The more we love ourselves and the people who we are with, the more we strive for balance (rather than praise or control). Only then can we become for others what we always hoped for: a delicate and energizing light.

Photo-essays from Milan (1): Street & Street Art

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Last month we went for a short trip to Milan to visit our son’s great grandmother. Milan is a beautiful place known all too well for il Duomo, its cathedral, and for its fashion. But there is much more to Milan as is to every city so I’ll be doing a series of photo-essays on this blog from our Milan trip. Just for a pure enjoyment of travel and photography. :)

 

Giving yourself permission to create

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It was mid-October and my tomato vine was still producing its pearls. My toddler loved to grab this little coconut shell and move from one tomato pot to another to see if something was still lurking on the slowly drying vines. He was usually lucky.

I’ve been thinking a lot about talents and creativity lately. About how little I understand how creativity works but equally about how limited our lives are when we do not find time and courage to answer inspiration and to hear our enthusiasm speaking to us.

I once read an interview with a famous Polish singer in which she admitted that she relies on her audience to cheer her before she appears on the stage, that she almost needs their permission to sing although she’s been singing for over thirty years and has been having a very successful and fulfilling career. I think this feeling is quite a common one – we all need a cheer every so often, but the ironic thing is that until we don’t show what we can and want to do, those around us would not know what to cheer for. That is why having a go (or multiple goes) at doing something and then sharing it with others is important. Trepidation never disappears but it subsides and turns into a strong feeling of joy related to having something completed.

Maybe ideas are a bit like children, we need to help them grow, help them mature but then we need to let them go so that they meet suitable partners for themselves.

I am happy that I did not need a cheer to plant the cherry tomatoes.

Follow your child’s gaze

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Just before the night sets in I sit down on a bed with my little boy, we surround ourselves with a number of picture books and we look through the images and I read to him. Depending on how busy our day was and how alert we both are this little ritual of ours lasts from 15 minutes up to an hour. I love this daily encounter with different adventures, poems and stories but most of all I love this very peaceful time with my child and the feeling of unity that it creates.

Years ago I was wondering what it is about reading or rather following a particular story which creates this feeling of togetherness. I decided that the answer partially is held in our gaze. We look in the same direction. We see things together.

When we go about our days with my son I try to follow his gaze. I try to look where he looks so that I get to know him better, so that I learn what his interests are. I hope that through this he will find courage to stay true to his interests later on in life and to be sure that whichever direction he will turn to, I will be watching this with interest too.

As part of my own development I often listen to podcasts and interviews on creativity, curiosity and calling in adult life and I like to link them to how I see childhood. Over these very first years of my son’s life I have formulated a very firm conviction that at the moment, at the very moment of being and becoming, curiosity is his only calling.

I owe it to his future to respect this.

Check the podcasts that inspired me to write the post above: http://robbell.com/portfolio/robcast/

Unburdened dreaming

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Just a few days ago I caught my little son daydreaming. He pulled a blanket on our carpet, grabbed a pillow from the sofa, and quietly lied down losing himself into some world unknown to me. I smiled understandingly.

I saw both myself and my husband in this daydreaming. We both do that– we lose ourselves in thoughts, in wondering. A lot of it is purposeful, of course. A lot of it is planning and problem-solving, and reflection on past events but not all… and thank God for that.

The dreaming that I wish I was doing more often is that in Beatrix Potter’s style, where rabbits and ducks wonderfully misbehave and talk too much. The dreaming that makes you giggle to yourself, the dreaming that ends without a list of things to do or to have. The dreaming that leaves you relaxed and entertained. Unburdened dreaming.

These days we are only supposed to have a wish list, aren’t we? Dreaming about having, dreaming about goods is encouraged, the opposite is true of dreaming fiction.

I really wish that my son will be searching the depths of his imagination for cheer, comfort and encouragement, that he will develop a strong dreaming muscle that will help him counter those dreams that consume one’s energy by pressing you to want more.

The real dreams of a real and creative child, do you still have them?

Music from Miss Potter: biographical movie about Beatrix Potter directed by Chris Noonan
Katie Melua – When You Taught Me How To Dance