Doubt is good

I’ve got to complete a substantial piece of work for my thesis and submit it towards the end of the month to my supervisor. Criticizing and evaluating other people’s research is not the strongest of my skills. I often doubt my judgement and I must say I have been experiencing a strong writer’s block over the last few weeks. Yesterday, however, something shifted in me… I love going to our parish church on Sunday. There we are given a weekly newsletter not only with parish announcements but also with short articles dedicated to the theme of the Sunday. Well… you all probably know the story of a doubting Thomas and his need to scrutinize the Christ’s wounds before believing in Jesus’ resurrection. Yesterday, in our weekly newsletter, different writers were making commentaries regarding that theme and one of them, Christine Clark, wrote this:

”Doubt is good: it must always be better for something to be challenged. If it’s too fragile to stand up to scrutiny, it’s not worth much.”

I choose to write about this because I think yesterday I have turned a corner in my thinking. Dealing with doubt, criticism and disbelief is an important part of doing research work and I think that only yesterday I understood why having doubts often implies having the courage to think independently.

Doubt is lovely. Welcome doubt.

Thrive

“My mission in life is not merely to survive, but to thrive; and to do so with some passion, some compassion, some humor, and some style.” Dr Maya Angelou

Have you found your way to thrive?

Your dreams are your directions

Someone said to me once: ‘Dreams, needs and wants are also given to us from God’. I was surprised because I had never thought of them like this… But then I thought maybe this person had a point… maybe our dreams and wants are God’s little messages sent to us on a very individual level… the whispers of our eager but fearful souls…

Sometimes those dreams are so subtle that they are easily over-talked by other persuasive voices, by people around us, by the media and their future forecasts, by promises of greatness and fortune elsewhere… Why would you like to be a carpenter if the money is in law and banking type of suggestions.… or… Your own business? But it takes so much effort and it bites into your evenings and weekends. Dancing classes? What would you do with your dancing in the future? Chess? Who’s got time for chess these days? You’d better… be watching your telly, eh?

In my life I also went elsewhere… in directions that I was persuaded to go to… in directions that I went because everyone was going there… but those choices drained me… they did not give me my energy back… they were fine for others but they were just not mine to make… and I made them because they presented opportunities and because they were safe… I played safe, I lost. Because they were not my dreams. But someone else’s. Maybe God was whispering to me and I didn’t listen…

I’ve always had three very strong dreams: 1) Contribute to knowledge 2) Give people jobs 3) Have a home that smells of bread. These are my three big dreams, my three life-long tasks that I want to fulfill, my aspirations that I’m still not entirely sure how to go about, how to develop and implement. I guess that there are different ways and methods… different routes… I am currently working on those dreams… they are big dreams.. they are challenges… but hey, it’s good to challenge yourself in life… you learn and you go into places… places where your talents and values fit…. places that you can nourish and that nourish you.

During my holiday in Cyprus I had time to close my eyes, feel the sun on my face and dream, dream, dream a lot… and see the images of those dreams cropping up in my head… I was dreaming for myself, for my family, for my town and for the world. I was dreaming of knowing more people in the town where I live, of exchanging stories with them and learning about their lives, I was dreaming of being able to drive to see them and of taking my son to see their businesses, farms and pottery making, I was dreaming of lazy Sundays with my husband when we just don’t need to do anything other than hold hands, walk, chat and be together, I was dreaming of cooking for friends and family and sitting together at the table, sharing love and laughs, I was dreaming of growing my own herbs and making my own yoghurt and baking once again my delicious poppy seed bread… I was dreaming of reading inspiring texts and of pouring good words on to the page… and I felt connected again. I felt happy and comfortable and I liked those dreams, those whispers of my hopeful soul… my signposts… my directions to take.

What are you dreaming of right now? What are your directions?

A story that motivates

We all have them, don’t we? Those motivational stories that keep us going when we struggle, when it’s tough. I’ve got a story like that too… a story that I’ve heard being repeated many times by different people in different media and in various places. You might know it too. This video tells the tale better than I can so here it is: A tale of two frogs.

What’s the story that motivates you? Do you want to share?

Not sure if I can give this one up…

The nothing new challenge which I embraced this year is asking for a sacrifice… a healthy one though… I will need to stretch…. and I am being literal here… because I need to start exercising more as otherwise I may end up not having anything to wear when the weather gets warmer and when I travel to the beautiful and warm island of Cyprus at the end of this month to visit my friend’s family. This is not going to be easy as I am one of those people who is more inclined to choose a book over a stretch. So quite a change is required from me in this department. And… there is this other weakness… cakes… I just really like baking them… and eating them too, of course. :) Do I really need to give them up? Is it not possible to lose weight and have a slice or two (or three ;)) of cake on Sunday? Sunday cakes – oh, this is something so ingrained in my Polish culture. This is what my family gathers for around 4 o’clock in the afternoon every Sunday – the 3C’s: cake, coffee, conversation. Giving up cakes is like giving up childhood for me… unimaginable. Is it the same for you? Is it easy for you to resist sugar?

This week I’ll be posting a recipe for a very easy poppy seed cake. Watch the space if you are a fan of baking. Sorry if you’ve just decided to give up sugar for Lent, you see, it’s time for you to learn that temptations are everywhere even in blogosphere ;)

Below is a photo of my first attempt at making cheesecake. It was nice but even for such a cake lover as me a bit too rich.

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