Postcards from Diwali (Part 2) Giving thanks for our multicultural Midlands

At the Hindu Temple Geeta Bhawan n Derby

On the 31st of October, we celebrated in Derby the festival of light, Diwali alongside other festivities and the hype of Halloween. It can seem a bit strange that I am writing about this on Thanksgiving Day but on the other hand I feel it is most appropriate because in fact we rarely give thanks to each other for permissions to see and participate in the lives of our diverse communities. When we start to socialise into the routines of communities other than our own, we spot differences but at the same the common needs and burdens as well as the efforts to make us feel welcomed and included. This is a lot to be thankful for.

When years ago I started a doctorate (and never completed) at MOSAIC at the University of Birmingham in Multilingulism with the use of autoethnography as a research method, I was learning how to write about oneself as placed in a multicultural British landscape and in an eclectic family. The task was confusing and insurmountable at times and for a long time I could not pin down where the difficulties were coming from. Until of course I understood… One was coming from a commonly held belief that talking about oneself is not the done thing, let alone to research oneself in the context of multiple cultures… this seems even more odd. Anyhow, my doctorate collapsed during the Covid-19 pandemic under the pressure of ill health, two small home-educated kids, my husband’s increased workload (no, he was not on furlough) and my need for creative rest that I am still very much a supporter of. That said, although my doctorate collapsed, the need to engage in local communities remains strong.

On the surface looking into the culture of a different community seems like having nothing in common with doing research into oneself, except when the holy scripture of that group teaches you a lot about self-intelligence and its importance for life well lived. The Gita actually uses the term ‘self-intelligence’ in its writing legitimizing self-knowledge, discipline and broader awareness of values that govern us and our choices. Indeed, who would we become without our ability to self-reflect and observe.

In the book Natural Law & Natural Rights, John Finnis lists 7 basic goods of human life necessary for our well-being. Among them, he lists: 1) life (itself with health, safety and self-preservation), 2) knowledge, 3) play, 4) aesthetic experience, 5) sociability (friendship), 6) practical reasonableness and 7) religion which of course concerns itself with love, the importance of truth, goodness, transcendence and the boundaries of human freedom. These common goods order and create what we call ‘quality of life’ and determine our overall satisfaction of life. Thus, part of learning about each other and our cultures is to see how we go about those values and common goods in our cultural groups and settings.

So here are a few postcards from Diwali as observed in Geeta Bhawan in Derby. For this post, I asked two mums to whom I chatted about the Gita, Radhe and Sarbjit, to explain to me who and what I saw at the Temple. They replied on WhatsApp.

Who are the gods/ deities here?

Radhe answered: ‘Shiva (with Trident) Parvati Devi (also known as Durga). In her arms Ganesha.

That peacock is standing besides Radha and Krishna’ 

“Abode of Krishna is called VrindaVan (Forest of Tulsi plants – one type of basil) 

So eternally Krishna lives in a forest..residents of VrindaVan possess pure love for Krishna.

So in eternal vrindavan Krishna z devotees are in the eternally in the form of trees, parrots, peacocks, cows, cowherd boys, cowherd girls. Their forms are based on how they want to love Krishna…that will be a long discussion 

Anyways, the story goes once Krishna was playing on his flute and has invited the animals of VrindaVan for a dance. Peacocks were dancing very gracefully. Soon Krishna joined their dance, looking at Krishna dancing peacocks started marveling his dancing.

Then the peacocks offered their best possession to Krishna, peacock feather. Krishna accepted their offering and honored it by always wearing peacock feather on his head.

In the middle, if I see correctly is Gopal – baby form of Krishna. Krishna reciprocates to the desires of his devotees. Many devotees want to love him as their own child so they worship him as Baby Gopal.

We worship deities by offering them clothes, food, jewellery.

So the deities are dressed in different colours the day you visited the dress happened to be of purple colour. Their is no particular significance of purple colour.

Next time if you ever choose to go you may see them in a different colour.

Traditionally on full moon day deities are offered a white dress.

On ekadashi (one day from the lunar calendar) offered a red dress.

By offering service to deity form of the Lord one can get purified of sinful desires. Sometimes people offer such service as an expression of gratitude.”

“Food has an significant impact on our consciousness. In Bhagvad Gita you may have studied about Sattvik, Rajasik, Tamasik.

We offer Sattvik food to the Krishna. When he accepts that offering it becomes Prasadam (which means Grace/mercy)

Prasadam will purify our consciousness.

That fruit was Prasadam. (…)

You visited the Temple on Diwali day, on Diwali people worship Lakshmi Devi and ask for prosperity.

[In the framed photo] is Lakshmi Devi, goddess of wealth.”

I also asked Sarbjit who visits the temple to tell me about a senior person who was distributing fruit towards the end of the prayer as I did not know who he was. Sarbjit replied, “If that man was wearing different clothes, then it was a Pandit. Otherwise, he could be a sevadar (volunteer).” During the worship people walk around the alter and worship each god separately after that they receive a piece of fruit, just before they leave the temple. The man very humbly told me that he is not a scholar in the study of religion and that there was someone else there who could have done it if I was there a lot earlier. But what he said, was that the most important thing is to remember that the gods/ the deities are indestructible and that what we as human beings cannot correct, they will do it for us. They will correct all the wrongs. This message I found to be most comforting. I hope you do too.

Happy Thanksgiving. May the light of Diwali keep on shining on us.

Thank you to Nikhila and Karthik for agreeing to be featured in the photographs for this blog post. Additional gratitude goes to Radhe and Sarbjit who supported me with their understanding of the customs here. Thank you very much.

Any comments and corrections more than welcome. :) Thank you all.

The text I referred to in the article is:

Finnis, J. (2011) Natural Law and Natural Rights. Oxford University Press: Oxford.

Thankful Tuesday: Being flamboyant about my gratitudes

Irrespective if you are someone flamboyant about your gratitudes or modest in expressing them, Tuesdays seem to be the right day to create a list of blessings and positive experiences. To ward off the anxieties that might be resurfacing midweek and to keep our mind calm and to make our heart palpitate gladly.

The Life with The Crew started The Thankful Tuesdays. I want to cultivate this blogging custom. I believe it serves us all well. Do you want to join in?

Here I go with mine. Today I am grateful for:

– the snow, the snow, the snow… that did not melt too quickly and the fox that appeared in our garden just after midday

– my friend’s successful knee operation and his quick recovery and our chat over a cup of coffee and his sharing of insights and wisdom from life

– for a very considerate friend who dropped Castor oil at my doorstep to improve blood circulation in the shoulders

– a husband who made a lovely Mediterranean style lentil dish with leek and green pumpkin and parsley (on the blog soon)

– translators who translate children’s stories and allow us to move between languages but within the same storytelling sphere: Room on the Broom by Julia Donaldson, La Strega Rosella – translated by the incredbly skilled Laura Pelaschiar, and the Polish version entitled ‘Miejsce na Miotle’ by translated by the excellent Michał Rusinek

– Jodie Wilson from Practising Simplicity for encouraging Yoga as a gentle exercise for busy lives, very useful for frozen shoulders too and any problems with posture that result from attached monkeys to our hips (be it kids or cameras) and also for her indirect encouragement to contact blog readers

– for Adam Phillips’ book On Getting Better and his ability to put into words what we tend to hide from ourselves, i.e. that our transferences and regressions intensify with our resistance :)

– for our daughter who said today that she wants to do her homework on her own and allowed me to load the dishwasher in the meantime

– for the recent Outdoor Photography Magazine and the glorious portfolio review by Massimo Leotardi and their reminder that we are soon going into a National Tree Week that is uniting all the tree lovers in the UK (see treecouncil.org.uk). This is one of our favourite magazines at home and we like to have a conversation over the photographs in the morning either by exiling tensions over the landscape photographs or by giggling and wowing over aquatic creatures or mice hiding in a hollow apple

– our morning routine that has just greatly improved due to a managerial trick, i.e. a checklist with all that needs to be taken to schools. Seriously, we need it. Our working memory is only capable of remembering six items at once. Everything else is an excess. We also use a simple linguistic change of words. Instead of saying ‘Speed up’, we say ‘Focus on buttoning up your shirt’, etc. So we focus on the actual activity that we want the children to complete and use the verb ‘focus on’. In that way, the morning routine is smoother for all of us and we have nicer starts to the day.

– for a glorious Journey Through Time and Light event at Crich Tramway Village that has put us in a festive mood and brought a huge anticipation of joy for the coming Christmas season

– for finding ways of preparing our son for his weekly Polish dictation tests at his Saturday School.. gosh this was a hard nut to crack..

What would you put on your list?

At Crich Tramway Village, A Journey Through Time and Light, Derbyshire, 2024

Part 3: Sink or swim in a crumble (on photographing food in a small kitchen with frozen shoulders and busy kids around).

If you mention a crumble to a Polish person, they would most likely very instinctively say that in Poland we have something quite similar but it is called ‘drożdżówka’ and it is actually a yeast-based cake that we often make with plumbs (or other fruit) when summer fades away and autumn takes charge of the table.

‘Drożdżówka’ has been always the treat that came out of my aunty’s oven every Sunday after the eleven o’clock mass that our priest always struggled to conclude. Hands were getting colder, legs were getting restless and as our stomachs were rapidly shrinking in size, our souls were working out their patience. Nourished with the Word of God, we either ran to our car or rushed to the pavements in hope for a piece of cake and a warming cup of hot coffee at my aunty’s place. ‘Niech Będzie Pochwalony Jezus Chrystus’ (May Lord Jesus Christ be Praised) was what used to be boldly exclaimed entering her kitchen. ‘Na wieki wieków, Amen’ (Now and ever shall be) was the reply. Interestingly, I observe, these words are slowly exiting our Polish culture as I hear us often saying ‘I’m back’ instead of the customary Christian greeting. I like the Christian greeting and it seems to me that our Sunday ritual is not entirely completed without those words. Ethnographers tend to notice these shifts in language patterns quite quickly just as they would note changes in how cakes are made. ‘Drożdżowka’ has changed and evolved in those Polish houses everywhere where the dietary requirements kicked in or other preferences are taking over, like losing weight, for instance.

The English crumble, I feel, is what is replacing this cake in families such as ours where gluten and egg whites, cow’s milk are off the menu and yeast should be avoided. Now, of course, there are hundred of ways in which crumble can be made and eaten. The one that I photographed here was made with apples and pears, honey (from my dad’s beehives), cinnamon, gluten free flour, coconut flour and coconut oil. I must admit I feel a bit like Willy Wonka by showing you photos of a dessert for a second-week in a row and I worry that the police will come and fetch me for introducing sweets to the city, but I am sure that you understand it very well that it is all done in the good faith of preserving childhood dreams and mother’s sanity as photographing it and writing it all up in a small kitchen with two frozen shoulders is not a small effort. ;)

So last week I had these questions in mind/ obstacles while photographing:

– how to photograph the food when the kids want to eat it straight away

– how to photograph left overs or food partially eaten in a manner that is acceptable to the eye but at the same to preserve the sense of realism

– how to make use of the sink

Essentially, I had this problem that we ate too much of it and too quickly but in all honesty waiting is difficult with hungry kids and all that you can do is to ask them to leave at least some for later or spoon some out before serving to preserve it for the photo (which comes in handy even a day after when you come back home from a cold walk and crave for some warming food). The crumble was lovely, but it resembled more of a pie than a crumble, I guess, because there was quite a lot of the dough. The dish was fairly flat, made of porcelain, rectangular and white. The very first thing that I thought of was that there would need to be a separation between the white colour of the dish and the white of the sink for a clearer composition so I decided to put it on a decoupaged beige tray that a differnt aunt of mine gave me a few years ago. I placed the dish with the tray in the sink for some photos to see what the effect would be with the white frame around the decoupaged try but in the end I like the one that sat higher on the edge of the sink as it gave me more depth to the background. The bits stuck to the side of the crumble pie dish were visible and quite unsightly so I decided to colour match the custard with a small towel and I placed it on the right side of the dish to cover the crumbs. That was done for the close-up. For a broader view, I looked for an additional item in the kitchen that again would somewhat decorate the food and take attention away from the fact that it was gluttonously devoured. I had this elegant chipped little coffee cup that I thought would take the attention and I placed it on a few wooden trays to give it prominence and posture. To complete the picture I used Contrastly autumn calm filters to give it it a calming and relaxing mood and feel – I wanted to evoke a feeling of calm after storm, one that you experience once the children are asleep and guests have gone home, and you are just on your own cleaning the kitchen. I included here also a backstage photo with my ring light for you to see how I positioned the light. I was taking the photos while standing on the left, just behind the ring light. On the backstage photo, the cup’s hand is directed at you. This is a compositional mistake. I remember a long time ago, I attended a course on children photography with Elena Shumilova and I couldn’t understand why one of the photos that I took of my daughter was compositionally worse than other ones. In that photo my daughter was sitting sideways and her elbow was somewhat lifted. Elena explained to me that it looked as if she was elbowing the viewer’s eye and in a way this is exactly what this cup appears to do in this backstage photo. It looks as if it was trying to elbow you so it is not the desired and the intended composition for a pleasing shot. Just the backstage photo. :)

Back to the topic of crumbles, last Sunday we visited Bradgate Park in Leicestershire and we stopped at the Coach&Horses for Sunday meal before the walk. Their crumble was a much healthier version to ours, I feel, as it had I think almost a triple the amount of fruit and it had less flour. As a result, theirs was a less fatty option to choose from. Avoid ours. But give photography at least an afterthought… :)

What have you been making recently?

Till now.

Alicja

P.S. I found heat patches to be very useful in easing my pain in the shoulders while I lift the camera up and while I hold it. I am using these ones at moment: Deep Relief Heat Patches. They might be useful to you too.

A breather

Have a breathable and spacious weekend, Dear Reader. :) x Alicja

Made it

The sea was unassumingly grey and boring as much as I would prefer to say otherwise. The tiny waves, however, were falling so abruptly. There must have been a sudden drop in depth close to the beach line. ‘This doesn’t look like a safe paddling pool for children’, I thought to myself but who was I to tell? And who was I to test the truth of my own assumptions or my swimming skills? Not with a frozen shoulder.

Camera felt quite cumbersome with my disability. I felt awkward lifting it up above my chest and photographing birds seemed inappropriate with a shoulder that was grieving its loss of capability but I was bored and actually I have been feeling bored for a while now, regularly experiencing a fed-up mama syndrome that simply manifests itself by wanting to reach for something and feeling that I shouldn’t be wanting to reach for anything besides my child’s hand, perhaps.

The wind was unpleasant, slicing through my jacket as if I was a window of opportunity rather than a human being made of fat and tissue. ‘No amount of fat can make up for a protective layer’ I reproach myself. Better to invest in a new jacket than an extra portion of food. I thought but I honestly did not see myself following on this wisdom too promptly.

I’ve been feeling quite removed from my children lately; partially because of my preoccupations and largely because of their speed. That I find so hard to match.

I’ve been dreaming of going somewhere where I cannot be reached, where I am not disturbed but where I can safely observe everything from afar – a spot difficult enough for the kids to reach – where they cannot disturb me and I do not need to interfere in their play. The place of non-interference.

I saw a lady sitting on the beach supported by the cliff’s wall, writing. And I felt such peace when I saw her as if she was where she was supposed to be. I exhaled. I was so happy for her. So glad. The feeling of peace overwhelmed me like a warm blanket and the sun arrived at the same time and I could do no more but to accept its non-scorching fire.

The children were the first ones to discover the pier. It was hiding below the horizon as if it was their prize for daring feet unphased by the discomfort of beach pebbles. And here it was – a spacious playground and a new viewpoint.

Two photographers came over. They were changing their lenses as if to remind me to change mine. So I did. The wide angle lens transformed the birds into small moving objects against which the cliffs majestically stood their ground.

The sea licked the cliffs like a small puppy its owner – unapologetically loving its face. Jealous of their interaction, I climbed down the ladder fastened to the pier and landed in water next to a chalky rock caressed by foamy waves. I climbed the rock covered with seaweed and positioned myself in a place that would somehow absorb it all. I had only felt half of my body on the descent. I was holding the steel staircase ladder with both hands but I do not have much grip in my left hand. It’s the unreliable hand. I got anxious. What would happen if I lose grip in my right hand – there would be nothing to support me then. ‘You still have it.’ I eased my brain and climbed down while my husband passed me the camera.

I was chuffed with the photos.

‘The ground made it to heaven’ I thought to myself. For He is risen.

Easter 2024, Beer, Devon, United Kingdom