Category: All That You Need To Thrive

The bridge where tantrums melt

sunny spellsduck feedingfeeding ducks2

birds feedingthe bridge 2

There is a bridge close to my house where tantrums melt and calm proceeds. I’m not quite sure what it is in that place that pacifies difficult feelings and makes more reassuring communication possible. Maybe it’s the joy of reaching a destination that does it or the task of feeding ducks or just being surrounded by nature or maybe all of these things taken together. Life just seems to float there. Just like the water under the bridge.

It’s not only the toddler who needs the bridge. I need it too, to quieten my internal communication with myself. August has been quite intense for me as the next few months are likely to be. When the pressure is high, I really appreciate open spaces more than anything. Perhaps I also have got a kicking and screaming toddler in myself who can only collect herself when out in the wild.

When I used to work in my dad’s orchard, my sister and I would spend a lot of time just looking into the sky, watching the passing clouds, connecting with the heavens. I noticed that my son loves doing it too. Looking up, breathing deeply. It’s reassuring, isn’t it? That under the clouds we are all small people.

Initiate growth inside your family

flowers

These very first years of family life are full of challenges and negotiations that once resolved are actually incredibly satisfying. I like to think of a family as a unit in a state of growth. So when we hibernate for too long, we ask ourselves which of the spheres of life we have recently or over time neglected. In fact, I like to do this very easy exercise in which next to a life sphere we discuss ideas on how to improve it. It is a very simple exercise that, if you wish to do it for your own family, is best done individually for each member and then together as a whole.

Life Sphere:

Spiritual  – effort to make time for meditation, reflection, prayer, quiet space in our busy liveflowers2s

Humane  – effort to make time for helping others outside the family and each other within the family

Emotional – effort to make time for cultivating positive emotions (love, kindness, compassion) and working through the negative ones, scheduling activities that bring about positive emotions

Physical – effort to make time for sport, rest, affection, cooking nutritious food, looking after our bodies

Intellectual – effort to make time for cultural activities (book, cinema, theatre) and stretching our minds, problem-solving activities, formal or informal study

Social – effort to make time for socializing, family-and-community gatherings, family conversation, celebrating, events in your own city, etc.

Environmental – effort to make time for engaging with nature, improving our homes or local areas, repairing the house, making our immediate environment pleasant

When it comes to family growth and well-being I have got one belief: every effort that you’ll make in the space of one year will deliver its shoots the next and if cultivated it will fully blossom in years to come. Do not get dissuaded or discouraged by the instant gratification culture, everything that is worth doing, is worth doing even if the fruit will show later in life.

Have a lovely family life!

This exercise has been inspired by the exercises promoted within Cognitive-Behavioral Psychology. If you’d like to learn more about it, you may like to read: Cognitive Behavioral Therapy: Teach Yourself (2012) by Christine Wilding or any other book or introduction to Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy.