Nothing New: Too big to be eaten alone

My neighbour is one of the most generous people I’ve met in the UK. She’s always got something to give, share or offer starting from time and tea, through to garden flowers, toys or even pieces of old furniture. What her body language and attitude communicates is…

…that there’s always something that we can give, that there is always something we can share…

Isn’t this true for all of us? I haven’t bought anything new for myself or my son this year and we still have enough… enough books to spread around, enough items of clothing to give to charity shops, enough toys to donate to poorer children, enough jackets to give to those in need… we have enough…

…because last year I was buying new things and a year before too, and two and three and four years ago as well…

…because we’ve been receiving presents this year, last year and two and three years ago too…

…because we and our family members have been sentimental about our childhood and adolescence and we’ve got those things too, things that are much older than our son, things that come from our past, things that are as old as we are… we’ve got them too.

And so we are full, our house is full, our life is full.

Some of you may say that this is a perfect state of being, that this is self-sufficiency, that you don’t need to borrow and that you don’t need to be too ingenious about dealing with your daily life, because for so many of us, a lot equals security, a lot means being safe…. and it’s so easy to believe it… so easy to think that… and to store, and to hoard, and to collect and to gather, and to keep and to hold on to… and to store, and to hoard, and to collect and to gather, and to keep and to hold on to… and it goes on again.

Our grandparents used to do that because they didn’t have enough… because they had plans for those items… because they knew what will happen with them. Often every one of them.

We do that because we think that we don’t have enough and because we must have it… because we feel insecure without having it all. The thing is as individuals we should not be really striving to have it all because as a society we have enough, we can swap and share the goods that we have, we can borrow from each other, from the libraries, from hire centers. There is no crime in doing this as long as we respect the goods that are available and treat them as if it was our pocket that paid for them, as if it was our hard work that purchased them.

Just yesterday our close friends came to our house to borrow some garden chairs for their party. We had a tea together, we had a chat together and we shared our news and ideas. Sharing created an additional opportunity for socialising, a spontaneous occasion to get-together…. Don’t we long for them?

This cake of goods that we store in our rooms, garages, garden sheds and attics is too big to be eaten alone… It’s time to invite others to the table.

I’ve told you. You should have listened to mummy!

I’ve told you. You should have listened to mummy!

A house and a home

I used to like a bit of chaos. Chaos was my state of choice. Chaos on my desk, in my bag, in my drawers and in my notebook. I found chaos conducive to work, especially for creative and innovative work… in a way I still do… the chaotic medley of thoughts… I trust them to organise themselves eventually… I trust them to come together… to create a coherent text.

The opposite is true of my house. I notice that I become less and less tolerant of a messy house. Perhaps it’s because since my son was born I spend more time at home than in the past and being, working and playing in the space that’s cluttered and covered with dust is just not fun and so I notice that the subject of a clean space appears more and more often in my conversations and my body starts leaning forward with interest when my friends and acquaintances report on their house cleaning adventures.

With the spring in its full strength, myriads of sun spells hit the surfaces in our house and all the negligence in house caring is exposed. This week therefore I am trying to use every possible minute to turn our house round and make it pleasant to be in. The windows and curtains have been washed, the surfaces, furniture, lamp shades and even ceilings have been freed from dust. The garden has also received its fair share of time and slowly space is being made for summer shrubs, herbs and flowers. This appearing neatness is making me quite happy and I hope that we’ll be able to do much more in the coming week. Our kitchen renovation project has made us slightly antisocial over the last few months and now when a significant part of it is done and many pieces of wood, screws, tools and boxes have disappeared I feel that our house can safely re-open to visitors. To me one of the main attractions of having your own space is that you can invite others to share it with you, to laugh, to talk, to eat there together. Guests play their part in turning our houses into homes, don’t they?