Nothing New: Too big to be eaten alone

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My neighbour is one of the most generous people I’ve met in the UK. She’s always got something to give, share or offer starting from time and tea, through to garden flowers, toys or even pieces of old furniture. What her body language and attitude communicates is…

…that there’s always something that we can give, that there is always something we can share…

Isn’t this true for all of us? I haven’t bought anything new for myself or my son this year and we still have enough… enough books to spread around, enough items of clothing to give to charity shops, enough toys to donate to poorer children, enough jackets to give to those in need… we have enough…

…because last year I was buying new things and a year before too, and two and three and four years ago as well…

…because we’ve been receiving presents this year, last year and two and three years ago too…

…because we and our family members have been sentimental about our childhood and adolescence and we’ve got those things too, things that are much older than our son, things that come from our past, things that are as old as we are… we’ve got them too.

And so we are full, our house is full, our life is full.

Some of you may say that this is a perfect state of being, that this is self-sufficiency, that you don’t need to borrow and that you don’t need to be too ingenious about dealing with your daily life, because for so many of us, a lot equals security, a lot means being safe…. and it’s so easy to believe it… so easy to think that… and to store, and to hoard, and to collect and to gather, and to keep and to hold on to… and to store, and to hoard, and to collect and to gather, and to keep and to hold on to… and it goes on again.

Our grandparents used to do that because they didn’t have enough… because they had plans for those items… because they knew what will happen with them. Often every one of them.

We do that because we think that we don’t have enough and because we must have it… because we feel insecure without having it all. The thing is as individuals we should not be really striving to have it all because as a society we have enough, we can swap and share the goods that we have, we can borrow from each other, from the libraries, from hire centers. There is no crime in doing this as long as we respect the goods that are available and treat them as if it was our pocket that paid for them, as if it was our hard work that purchased them.

Just yesterday our close friends came to our house to borrow some garden chairs for their party. We had a tea together, we had a chat together and we shared our news and ideas. Sharing created an additional opportunity for socialising, a spontaneous occasion to get-together…. Don’t we long for them?

This cake of goods that we store in our rooms, garages, garden sheds and attics is too big to be eaten alone… It’s time to invite others to the table.

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I’ve told you. You should have listened to mummy!

listen to mummy_photo by Postcards without stamps

I’ve told you. You should have listened to mummy!

Dear Parents, this coming Sunday do not take me to a shopping mall.

Dear Parents,

This coming Sunday do not take me to a shopping mall. There’s more I want to see. There’s more I want to be…

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… than just a consumer.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

*Photographs 4 and 5 taken at Derby Museum and Art Gallery

*Photograph 8 at Kedleston Hall, Derby.

Reassured

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Today I walked into my old working environment and I was truly taken by the way my colleagues greeted me… with broad smiles, open arms and tears in some eyes. I’ve been truly missing these beautiful minds… people of similar values and various persuasions, people of similar dreams and common interests and ambitions, people who saw me at my highest and my lowest and have been always a pleasure to work with.

It’s been a while since I’ve emptied my desk, became a mum and opened myself to lonely pursuits. I am on my own now in my professional and creative life and these routes of one are not always easy… there’s no one to banter with… there’s no one to bounce ideas against… no one who can fill knowledge voids, dispel doubts and no one but myself to debate with – how boring and unsatisfying it is at times… to be just on your own at your piece of paper. And so I travelled today down memory lane and we shared and exchanged as many feelings and experiences as the time allowed us to, we shared laughs and we shared suffering and I felt that we all missed each others’ company…

I’ve never been quick to call someone a friend. I believe it takes time and a few overcome-together challenges to create true friendship… but today when I was going back home and staring at the changing landscape behind the train window, I felt this warming and reassuring feeling that…

… I had friends…

… loving, intelligent and courageous friends.

Your dreams are your directions

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Someone said to me once: ‘Dreams, needs and wants are also given to us from God’. I was surprised because I had never thought of them like this… But then I thought maybe this person had a point… maybe our dreams and wants are God’s little messages sent to us on a very individual level… the whispers of our eager but fearful souls…

Sometimes those dreams are so subtle that they are easily over-talked by other persuasive voices, by people around us, by the media and their future forecasts, by promises of greatness and fortune elsewhere… Why would you like to be a carpenter if the money is in law and banking type of suggestions.… or… Your own business? But it takes so much effort and it bites into your evenings and weekends. Dancing classes? What would you do with your dancing in the future? Chess? Who’s got time for chess these days? You’d better… be watching your telly, eh?

In my life I also went elsewhere… in directions that I was persuaded to go to… in directions that I went because everyone was going there… but those choices drained me… they did not give me my energy back… they were fine for others but they were just not mine to make… and I made them because they presented opportunities and because they were safe… I played safe, I lost. Because they were not my dreams. But someone else’s. Maybe God was whispering to me and I didn’t listen…

I’ve always had three very strong dreams: 1) Contribute to knowledge 2) Give people jobs 3) Have a home that smells of bread. These are my three big dreams, my three life-long tasks that I want to fulfill, my aspirations that I’m still not entirely sure how to go about, how to develop and implement. I guess that there are different ways and methods… different routes… I am currently working on those dreams… they are big dreams.. they are challenges… but hey, it’s good to challenge yourself in life… you learn and you go into places… places where your talents and values fit…. places that you can nourish and that nourish you.

During my holiday in Cyprus I had time to close my eyes, feel the sun on my face and dream, dream, dream a lot… and see the images of those dreams cropping up in my head… I was dreaming for myself, for my family, for my town and for the world. I was dreaming of knowing more people in the town where I live, of exchanging stories with them and learning about their lives, I was dreaming of being able to drive to see them and of taking my son to see their businesses, farms and pottery making, I was dreaming of lazy Sundays with my husband when we just don’t need to do anything other than hold hands, walk, chat and be together, I was dreaming of cooking for friends and family and sitting together at the table, sharing love and laughs, I was dreaming of growing my own herbs and making my own yoghurt and baking once again my delicious poppy seed bread… I was dreaming of reading inspiring texts and of pouring good words on to the page… and I felt connected again. I felt happy and comfortable and I liked those dreams, those whispers of my hopeful soul… my signposts… my directions to take.

What are you dreaming of right now? What are your directions?

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