Against all odds

I used to bend my time. I was able to dedicate extra hours, days, weekends to various projects and ambitions and I was good at it. I was good at being dedicated, going the extra mile and generating motivation to do things. When you have love for learning, motivation is easy. It is just there. And you draw from it. Happily. Freely. Endlessly. So you think. Until you become a parent. When a child appears in your life, you realise that there is very little time to bend… no time to waste… hardly any time to flex. It is the time when despite having loads of motivation to engage with things, you realise that motivation on its own will not take you far. That you need a change…in attitude…in lifestyle… in your entire life approach maybe too… you just need to change… change.

Last year I embarked on a very important professional long-term project. This project is now calling for my attention, wants my commitment and wants the hours to be put in. This is not going to happen in the evening when my son falls asleep…It wants more of my time and so it seems to me that it’s only the early start that can do it…. the two hours before the baby wakes up… and I need to do it as otherwise I’ll fail… and everything that I’ve been working for over the last six years will be lost… and simply I cannot allow this to happen. I never needed as much discipline in my life as I need now… I never needed as much planning and I never needed to be so organised… and my dear friends this is painful because I’ve been always valuing freedom and flexibility and space… and now I need to change… and put some limits and barriers on that space and time that I possess as otherwise I would need to give up what I started… give up something very precious… an opportunity to grow… and that’s just not in my character.

So I’ve got a challenge before me that requires discipline and strong will… will that I need to develop and the discipline that I need to master. They will allow me to confront the challenge and find solutions to my busy days. I am starting from a new position… from a position that is still new, continuously changing and always demanding… that of a very tired but filled with love mum. It’s difficult, it’s exhausting sometimes but I believe that what I’m doing will lead to growth. Of myself, of my family and of others. And that’s what matters, doesn’t it? That we grow. Spiritually. Mentally. Intellectually. Truly. Grow.

“A characteristic of human nature – perhaps the one that makes us most human – is our capacity to do the unnatural, to transcend and hence transform our own nature.” M. Scott Peck

Thank you Mary Slow for your inspiring words. You motivated me to write this post. Check out Mary Slow’s wonderful and thought-provoking blog.

Let the story unfold…

I always cared about books. A book was the very first thing that I bought for my son even before I got his first baby grow. Books are integral to our family life. Our spaces seem incomplete without them and our days somewhat deprived if a book is not read or heard being read.

I never had many preconceptions about motherhood or about having a family. But there was always one thing that I didn’t want for my child. I never wanted to create a home where stories are not read, not told, not re-enacted or not invented. I never wanted books to be just lonely physical objects perched on shelves. In fact, I often felt sorry for those children who are given wonderful gifts of tales and fables and nothing is done with them… where those presents are really never unwrapped for them which means that the stories for these children never come to life. This is such a waste. Isn’t it true that to a large extent stories shape childhood? The stories we read, the stories we tell, the stories we repeat…. they make an impact on our child’s character and on the ways in which they perceive the world around them and their own role in it… Stories warn, stories educate, stories entertain and comfort… Stories remain when we are gone.

That first book that I purchased two years ago… There was a wonderland in that book. And I wanted my son to be transported there. There was vibrancy and strength in that book. And I wanted him to be energized by it. There was a meaning within the story. I wanted him to remember its message. And mainly there was joy… a pure joy that I sensed would emerge from engaging with it. A break. For my son and for me. Joyful, peaceful and energizing break.

Mothering with books is a form of simplified parenting. You allow the books to do the hard work of showing, telling, instructing and in many cases they are probably more effective than we are. It’s just much easier to follow a story than a parent. This year I am not buying any books but I am writing stories and poems because I see them as crucial for my son’s development. I see them as essential for his imagination, health and playtime. Without them I wouldn’t be myself and my son would not have the childhood that he deserves to have.

I know I am just a mum of a toddler… of a boy who cannot engage with an elaborate story yet and who frankly has just only recently moved on from the stage of book eating to actually being able to listen to the story. You may think that reading is not really that significant at this stage… that stories do not make as much impact…Well.. you see… I look at this small child and I look at the way he handles his books and I see a very strong need in him… the need to engage with the world that’s presented on those pages… the need to know, the thirst to understand… those small things such as why the little chicken is pulling a bucket full of water from the well or why the small kitten is in bed with a high temperature. How can you not tell the whole story when those small eyes are pleading to know?

The shop with a difference

There are over ten thousand charity shops in the UK. They sell mainly second-hand goods donated to them from any and every generous soul. You just turn up with your bag or box filled with small treasures and hand it over to the person that’s behind the counter. By selling your products, the shop raises funds for its parent charity. Or you can just simply shop there.

There’s a surprisingly large circle of people that are made happy through your give-aways to the charity shop. A) You are happy because you have done a good deed B) Your family is happy because you have eventually removed that unused-and-dumped-in-the-corner irritating cast away of an item C) The charity workers feel less lonely in their quest for good-doing – you provide them with evidence that there is quite a handful of open-hearted characters in their proximity (and how encouraging and uplifting it is to know that your town is full of generous beings!) D) The beneficiaries of the parent charity (no explanation needed here) E) The charity-shop customer who has just found what he has been looking for for ages and just a day before gave up hope of finding it F) The customer’s partner, friend and family that are going to be experiencing relief after the lucky find.

I do have a few nice things that caught my eye while I was visiting the shops. The vase above is one of them. It looks quite nice in our still-not-ready and rough-looking kitchen.

Do you shop or give to charity shops? Is there anything precious that you found there? Or maybe you are planning to visit a charity shop this weekend? What cause do you support?

Sun sun sun sun

“There is no medicine like hope, no incentive so great, and no tonic so powerful as expectation of something tomorrow.”

~Orison Swett Marden

p.s. Did you know that you can receive Postcards through Facebook? Here’s the page: Postcards without stamps on Facebook. Have a lovely and sunny weekend my friends! Alicja x

Consumers or Producers?

In the last few days my mind has moved on from a personal approach to consumerism to its broader aspect. I am thinking of our enormous (societal) ability to consume beyond the level of shopping.

I’ve been greatly privileged with being brought up in the countryside… in a village full of farms, orchards, green and golden fields. The images that I carry in my head are those of hard-working people, of people who care greatly and of people who produce and make every effort at creating quality foods for others. I’ve been observing people who dedicate their days, holidays and weekends to making sure that whatever piece of land they own will yield the desired crop… that they have something to offer to the world once the summer finishes. This isn’t done without sacrifice. It does take a lot out of them… but somehow I cannot imagine them doing anything else… they just grow up with that mindset… that mentality… that you are worth as much as you can offer to others.

This ability and eagerness to produce for others seems to have slipped out of the Western psyche. We’ve been too contented with being consumers for ourselves. It’s not only about the economical dimension but also about personal and social aspects. How much do we give from ourselves to others? How far are we able to extend ourselves? How creative and how hard-working are we?

I think that at least in our purchasing choices, if that is possible, we should not be driven by the price tag only. We ought to be more community-spirited when it comes to shopping. This is so important! To make the region that you live in a sustainable source of nourishment and growth. I stand for buying local. I try to support as many shops and farms in the area where I live as possible as I feel I am not entitled to complain about the economic situation in my local area if I don’t actively support its economy. I feel responsible for doing my share.

This countryside mindset also compels me to ask myself: To what extent am I a producer? What do I produce? What can I produce? With the abilities that I have been given, how can I support my family, society, friends and the environment? How can I be of value to the communities that I inhabit? Are there areas where I am only a consumer? Can I change it? Should I change it? Have I struck the right balance? So many questions to learn from..