Success and community

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“It takes twenty years to be an overnight success.” Eddie Cantor, performer

I keep on reminding myself of this quote every time I start a new project. It’s never easy to create something valuable and lasting. It’s never easy to create something that will be well-received, stretching and useful at the same time. Last week I started a new project in our community aimed at Polish children. I wanted the children and parents to meet, sing, read poems and do some craft together. Sounds simple, but it’s not. Children are more unpredictable than I thought and my own child is too. I was able to foresee that he might not want to participate in some activities and that he will try to taste most things, but what I didn’t predict was that he will be regularly running out of the room to press the exit button for wheelchair users to open the main door of the centre. So, as you can imagine, this combined with the efforts to advertise, plan and execute the event didn’t make the job very easy.

Nonetheless, I have made a commitment to create something for the local community and so I will press on (just like my toddler with the door button).

I have chosen a community centre in my neighbourhood rather than a Polish church or a Polish club for the event because I do like when communities venture beyond their comfort zones and when they engage with different places. I think it’s very important not to confine ourselves. It’s liberating. I also believe that once the small children will feel comfortable with coming to the centre to do the Polish activities, they will become happier at attending other activities too (those that are aimed at all children).

What’s more, I have chosen my area because there is nothing more heart-warming than living in a socially accessible neighbourhood. It makes a big difference to our daily sense of contentment. It makes us perceive the world in brighter colours too and reduces anxieties about the people who live a street away from us. Someone told me the other day that they don’t like walking down their street because they don’t know the people who occupy the houses there. Is this fear not something that we should try to counter? Don’t you think that it’s true that we perceive streets to be nicer and friendlier if we know at least one person who lives on those streets? Neighbourhood activities make sense, don’t they? Even if the only thing that they do is to reduce our fear of walking to the bus stop.

Anyhow, I hope I will rise to the challenge of entertaining toddlers and that it will take me less than twenty years…

Any ideas of how I can do it?

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This life, that hour

“Happiness, knowledge, not in another place, but this place, not for another hour, but this hour.”

– Walt Whitman, Leaves of Grass

Dear Parents, this coming Sunday do not take me to a shopping mall.

Dear Parents,

This coming Sunday do not take me to a shopping mall. There’s more I want to see. There’s more I want to be…

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… than just a consumer.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

*Photographs 4 and 5 taken at Derby Museum and Art Gallery

*Photograph 8 at Kedleston Hall, Derby.

Busy calendars are not so bad really

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A lot is happening in our family life recently – so much so that I find myself having to sit at the table more often than usually in order to plan. And this planning is no longer only for a week or two and no longer for work only – I am trying to organise our next three months. A few travels before us, some family events, some house maintenance to do, deadlines to meet, projects to complete, routines to carry out and ideas to capture. So I am sitting in front of our calendar today and am making lists of all those things to do and the things to remember about and I am feeling slightly overwhelmed by our commitments. But I am hopeful and positive as most of the things and events are of positive nature and I think that ultimately it will give us a lot of joy to attend to them.

So many of the events and commitments in our lives are of such character… they are supposed to enrich and fulfil us in some manner… bring us joy, pleasure, satisfaction, happiness, dignity… there’s always a bigger and brighter purpose behind things… behind things even as ordinary as ironing… because it’s not about the chore really… but about carrying your human self with dignity, respect and grace… Isn’t it?

And so I’m thinking today that I don’t want to complain about too many things to do anymore… because actually there is something bigger than me and bigger than my tired body and busy mind behind most of them… there are family ties behind them, there’s health and well-being of my husband and son, there is a community of determined and caring people, and there is love and knowledge and growth of me and many. There is a strong purpose behind most things in my calendar and I am very happy that I can make these plans and hopefully carry them out in the coming months.

Calendars are those funny things that are not really what they appear to be… they make a pretense of being packed with duties but in fact they chock-full of strong and serious meanings…

No wonder we like to fill them up so much…

Against all odds

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I used to bend my time. I was able to dedicate extra hours, days, weekends to various projects and ambitions and I was good at it. I was good at being dedicated, going the extra mile and generating motivation to do things. When you have love for learning, motivation is easy. It is just there. And you draw from it. Happily. Freely. Endlessly. So you think. Until you become a parent. When a child appears in your life, you realise that there is very little time to bend… no time to waste… hardly any time to flex. It is the time when despite having loads of motivation to engage with things, you realise that motivation on its own will not take you far. That you need a change…in attitude…in lifestyle… in your entire life approach maybe too… you just need to change… change.

Last year I embarked on a very important professional long-term project. This project is now calling for my attention, wants my commitment and wants the hours to be put in. This is not going to happen in the evening when my son falls asleep…It wants more of my time and so it seems to me that it’s only the early start that can do it…. the two hours before the baby wakes up… and I need to do it as otherwise I’ll fail… and everything that I’ve been working for over the last six years will be lost… and simply I cannot allow this to happen. I never needed as much discipline in my life as I need now… I never needed as much planning and I never needed to be so organised… and my dear friends this is painful because I’ve been always valuing freedom and flexibility and space… and now I need to change… and put some limits and barriers on that space and time that I possess as otherwise I would need to give up what I started… give up something very precious… an opportunity to grow… and that’s just not in my character.

So I’ve got a challenge before me that requires discipline and strong will… will that I need to develop and the discipline that I need to master. They will allow me to confront the challenge and find solutions to my busy days. I am starting from a new position… from a position that is still new, continuously changing and always demanding… that of a very tired but filled with love mum. It’s difficult, it’s exhausting sometimes but I believe that what I’m doing will lead to growth. Of myself, of my family and of others. And that’s what matters, doesn’t it? That we grow. Spiritually. Mentally. Intellectually. Truly. Grow.

“A characteristic of human nature – perhaps the one that makes us most human – is our capacity to do the unnatural, to transcend and hence transform our own nature.” M. Scott Peck

Thank you Mary Slow for your inspiring words. You motivated me to write this post. Check out Mary Slow’s wonderful and thought-provoking blog.