Holidaying in this space

Not many people read blogs during the summer so it feels like I’m going against the grain here by coming back from my break in writing. A lot has been happening over the past few months and part of me wants to take a good stock of it. So I’ll be holidaying in this space and a few posts will appear here this summer.

This is a simple list of thoughts and experiences that I just wanted to log that are not only about today but also about the last few months.

Making: sense of my multicultural experiences on the pages of my thesis
Cooking: simple chicken dishes with olive oil, fresh tomatoes, garlic and basil
Drinking: jugs of water
Reading: once again The Road Less Travelled by M. Scott Peck; Masterpieces of literary reportage by Ryszard Kapuscinski, Last Child in The Woods by Richard Louv
Wanting: what I have
Looking: at the growing man on my side
Playing: shake, shake, shake – it’s just about shaking pretty much everything these days
Wasting: perhaps a bit too much money on books these months
Sewing: is about to be outsourced to a tailor – winter coats need mending
Wishing: well to people nearby and afar
Enjoying: gluten-free diet
Waiting: no more, there is no time to waste
Liking: this video about self-compassion being even more important than self-esteem, Jesper Juul, Hozier and Gipsy Kings
Wondering: what to write in this space
Loving: English charity shops
Hoping: to complete this list
Marvelling: at my son’s strength
Needing: stronger backbone to lift the pre-school attendee
Smelling: blackcurrants
Wearing: summer
Following: you ;)
Noticing: how much can be gained through a face-to-face dialogue
Knowing: myself much better than 4 years ago
Thinking: a lot about languages, cultures, modern families, nutrition and growing broad beans
Feeling: optimistic
Bookmarking: quotes on patience and perseverance
Opening: many packs of raisins for my little boy
Giggling: every evening when the summer heat subsides and the air cools down

and one addition:

Missing: I was missing writing for this space. I think I have grown quite a lot through my previous blogging experiences and it has always felt like a privilege to be part of this creative community. It’s great to pop in for a while.

The taking stock list and a template was made by Pip at Meet Me at Mike‘s. Go and visit her lovely space.

Natural dreams

Where do you go to escape from the turmoil of the world? I go home. Childhood home. Of course it boils there too. But it boils in a different language, about different matters although with familiarity from the past. We know our childhood homes so well. We know what to expect of them and, who knows, maybe it is this predictability of the place and language that makes it easier for us to truly rest and listen.

I tend to find myself when I’m in the unchanging landscape of my little village, in its stability. The fields, the trees, the meadows, the orchards, the forest nearby – they are always there ready to embrace me as I am. Ready to welcome me as me.

It’s a powerful sensation. Me as me.

In a world that demands constant change. In a world that asks for continuous development and seduces us with better versions of ourselves it is really difficult to appreciate the people we are and have always been – with our personal dreams, perspectives, and qualities.

In fact, it is even difficult to love our own core dreams when so many things around tell us that there are other, better dreams to dream.

When you feel like this think of the time when you last were dreaming with confidence. Big dreams, small dreams but with ease, no noise in the background. I have realised recently that I was at my dreaming-best when I was 14. I don’t know what I was doing ever since, but it was the time when my map of dreams was the most personal to me, no fears, fads and fashion. In my little childhood village there are cereal fields next to my dad’s cherry orchard. Walking along the fields, I meet the 14-year old. She’s cheerful, hopeful and determined. Where were you when your dreams were unfolding? Maybe you can visit this place? Or create a semblance of it where you are now? To allow yourself to be you, maybe with fears but without disabling judgements.

The lesson

I was in a shopping centre yesterday. I bought my son a little toy. One of these tiny cars that you wind up and they drive off on their own in whichever direction you set them in. My son played with it, giggled loudly and was really really excited about it. We walked together towards a play area in the centre and my son saw a crying boy. He walked towards him and put the new wind-up car in his hands, took a step back, smiled to the boy and laughed with joy.

When I described this to someone we briefly concluded that it’s good that the children can share. Then I thought about it for a while longer and decided that what I witnessed was not a lesson in sharing but a lesson in compassion. The simplicity and honesty of the situation was astounding. One little boy saw the other one in pain and did what he could to relieve the pain of the other.

Why do we as adults find it so much more difficult to behave in this way? Have we been educated out of compassion? Are we educating ourselves out of it?

How often have we crossed the street to avoid a person in pain? How often do we ignore the pain of our friends or family members? Why is the pain of others so difficult to acknowledge?

Liking rain: Photo Essay

Ever since I came to the UK, I’ve been learning to love when it rains. It’s not so easy at times… I must admit. But rain can be beautiful and mesmerizing. Purifying and full of promises. Of growth. Of fun and of adventure.

How do you feel about rain?

Where to find information on how to play with a toddler?

Bringing up a toddler means many things, but when it comes to good playtime it primarily means embracing movement. Toddlers love to move, they have the energy and need for action. Frequent runs around the park and playground are one way of exhausting their energy (and they are certainly effective) but it’s helpful to bring variety to our routines and have a set of activities for our toddlers to do at home and outside.

I was looking for a book that would give me ideas on how to play with my two-year-old and would help me with activities for a group of small children. My son is our first child and sometimes we haven’t been very successful at choosing games and entertainments that he would have enjoyed. Once I felt really out of depth while running a community event for toddlers in my neighbourhood. It’s not as easy to get them organised and interested as some may think.

When I found 101 Ways to Play With a 2-year-old I was really really happy and astonished at how easy play with toddlers can and should be. The book offers what it promises in its title (101 activities). Each activity is presented on a separate page and is beautifully illustrated with a drawing that make you immediately imagine yourself and the toddler at play. They are also marked with a difficulty level so you may want to start with the very easy ones and try other ones later as you child progresses towards being a three-year-old. But in all honesty, I wish I had this book even before my toddler was two as really some of these games are fabulous to try even before they pass their second birthday.

Another very strong side of the book is that it doesn’t demand any additional toy purchases or having fancy things around. Everything that is used in the book for good playtime you probably have already at home (a piece of string, shoes, crayons) or you will be able to find in your local park (stones, leaves). I read the book when I have a free minute here and there and I look for opportunities to use the ideas as our week unfolds. It’s all really nice and simple. This morning, for example, while waiting for our eggs to boil, we were making different shapes and patterns out of a piece of string, naming them and having fun together. An easy and lovely distraction prior to the meal.

Title: Angevin, D.; Jackle, A., Langowski, M., Lucky, B., and Torrent, B. (2014) 101 Ways to Play with a 2-year-old. New York: Nanook Books.

This is not a sponsored post. I am just sharing experiences and information.