BEYOND THE PRICE TAG, THERE’S LIFE

There is not a single day when I don’t think about how to bring up my son, what example to set, what values to instil, what interests and talents to nourish. My choices will affect him. My choices are affecting him already.

I’m giving him a lot of freedom and I see a very curious and independent boy developing before my eyes. I talk a lot to him and I see a willing communicator emerging. I cook for him and as he stirs the pots and smells the food on the stoves I can tell that the love of cooking has been awakened in him. But I also see a boy who finds it hard to fall asleep without one of his parents next to him (because making him fall asleep in the cot was just too hard for us), a boy who demands Peppa Pig just after his dinner (because it’s much easier for his parents to clean up when the computer is on), a boy who doesn’t always take no as an answer and is very willing to explain his reasons for doing things and negotiate his rights (and he’s not even two yet… oh, long disputes before us). So I am observing and I am wondering about the future… about the years that I have with my child… about those often fleeting hours during which I can make a difference to how he sees the world… to how he understands it… to how he engages with it.

Often I get overwhelmed and confused at what I should be doing, often I just want to leave things to take their own course and just simply go about our daily life and most often this is the best option but not always… not always.

There are things that need to be shown to our children. There are things that must be experienced and made tangible. There are values that we must impress upon them and we must make an effort to do it. There are habits that we must develop. This is what parental guidance is. Parental guidance is not only about the cuddles before the sleep, it’s also about attending to the much hated habit of brushing teeth after dinner, it’s about saying no when the need arises, it’s about teaching “I’m sorry” and “Thank you” and it’s about switching off the TV after 20 minutes because it’s time for bed. It’s about those small things.. and the big ones too like hard-work, tolerance, patience, caring, perseverance, love. This is how we secure their future… by attending to seemingly insignificant details in life, to their values and to their characters.

When adults talk about securing their children future, they mean money. They always do, as if money was the ultimate gift – the antidote to insecurities, the best problem-solving tool. I feel sorry for the child for whom this is actually the truth as that means that they got themselves into debt while still playing in the sandpit…. gambling with stones, the bucket and the spade, I imagine.

Children don’t need money in their sandpits. They already have the tools and skills to feel secure. Let’s not push money and stuff down their throats telling them that they need goods to feel happy, to engage with the world and to solve their problems. The world is theirs already. The grass. The trees. The bread. The honey. The sea. It is theirs.

I want to go deeper than the price tag. Not to ignore it but to see beyond it. Because there is life beyond the price tag. Real people that touch the Earth and its gifts and creations, tangible processes and experiences, hands that work, knees that bend, heads that drop, eyes that inspect, fingers that pick. For there is life beyond the price tag, real people that touch the Earth.

Honey is not only something that can be bought for £4.15 a jar in a local supermarket. I want my son to have the awareness of this, of how it’s made and where it comes from. I want him to get the story behind the jar. To see busy bees on flowers, beehives, honeycombs, and the bee-keepers and their veiled hats. It is my duty as a parent to help my son to see and understand this. To sow the grass with him. To plant the tree with him. To make bread together and to show him a beehive. To take him to the seaside, to see a boat, fish, nets and the fisherman. For this is life.

Security comes from a firm standing on the ground, from a firm understanding of who we are and where we belong to… and we belong here – to this world, to this Earth. I want my son to touch it. To see it. To live with it. To understand that the Earth is his and that he is its.

Back to writing earlier than expected. :) Hope you’ve enjoyed this post. x

Happy Mother’s Day!

Happy Mother's Day!

Happy Mother’s Day!

DIY: safari made out of a shoe box

Buying nothing new is not only about shopping. It is also about making use of what we have in our houses already. I had a shoe box and quite a bit of felt from my craft projects that I did as far back as two years ago. I decided to make something out of them. When I started I wasn’t sure what it will be… I thought that the fabric and scissors will lead me somewhere and I was right… it was quite a journey… a safari in fact.

First I ironed the felt that I wanted to use. Then I tightly covered the box with black felt and folded it diagonally to make nice and clean looking creases. I used big binder clips to help me with fabric adjustments. Once I knew how the fabric would cover the bottom part of the box I started unfolding bits of felt and gluing them back to the box with a double-sided adhesive tape. I glued the felt onto all the walls of the box and inside the box too.

I used green felt to cover the top of the box. I glued the felt to its flat horizontal surface and its side walls using the double-sided adhesive tape again. Around 3 cm of felt was hanging down from the side walls of the cover. I cut out small triangles on this hanging fabric using the pinking shears. And this is when I decided that it’s going to be a safari box. I left the off-cuts to use them for the grass and foliage inside it.

I remembered about an elephant stencil that I had in one of my books ( Stencils by Lotta Jansdotter) and decided to use it on the box. I tried it first on paper but it didn’t work very well when I wanted to fill the cut out with paint so instead I decided to use yellow paint on its edges and make an imprint on the cover. I corrected the imprint on the cover when it was required. (If you would like to do it for yourself you can just cut an elephant, a heart or a flower out of paper and try to paint around the edges. It will give the same effect.)

Next, I cut out two leaves out of brown felt and glued them to the cover.

I flipped the box on its side, glued the remaining scraps of the green felt to the bottom of the box and onto its one side. Cut out a red circle and glued it to the back to make it look like the sun. I looked for some animals in my son’s toy collection and placed them in the scene. (These can be made of paper too. No need to buy special animals for it.) Placed the box cover on top and here it is… a lovely safari to play with. Perfect for a good pretend play with your child or between your children during a rainy or sunny afternoon. :)

All I used was:

iron, 1 shoe box, felt in 3 different colours, self-adhesive tape, yellow paint, an elephant stencil, large binder clips, pinking shears and small toy animals (nothing new was bought for this project)

Nothing New Challenge was started by Sash at Inked in Colour. Have you visited her blog recently? It’s the most amazing place online I’ve come across so far. Have a peek, it’s well worth it.

Let the story unfold…

I always cared about books. A book was the very first thing that I bought for my son even before I got his first baby grow. Books are integral to our family life. Our spaces seem incomplete without them and our days somewhat deprived if a book is not read or heard being read.

I never had many preconceptions about motherhood or about having a family. But there was always one thing that I didn’t want for my child. I never wanted to create a home where stories are not read, not told, not re-enacted or not invented. I never wanted books to be just lonely physical objects perched on shelves. In fact, I often felt sorry for those children who are given wonderful gifts of tales and fables and nothing is done with them… where those presents are really never unwrapped for them which means that the stories for these children never come to life. This is such a waste. Isn’t it true that to a large extent stories shape childhood? The stories we read, the stories we tell, the stories we repeat…. they make an impact on our child’s character and on the ways in which they perceive the world around them and their own role in it… Stories warn, stories educate, stories entertain and comfort… Stories remain when we are gone.

That first book that I purchased two years ago… There was a wonderland in that book. And I wanted my son to be transported there. There was vibrancy and strength in that book. And I wanted him to be energized by it. There was a meaning within the story. I wanted him to remember its message. And mainly there was joy… a pure joy that I sensed would emerge from engaging with it. A break. For my son and for me. Joyful, peaceful and energizing break.

Mothering with books is a form of simplified parenting. You allow the books to do the hard work of showing, telling, instructing and in many cases they are probably more effective than we are. It’s just much easier to follow a story than a parent. This year I am not buying any books but I am writing stories and poems because I see them as crucial for my son’s development. I see them as essential for his imagination, health and playtime. Without them I wouldn’t be myself and my son would not have the childhood that he deserves to have.

I know I am just a mum of a toddler… of a boy who cannot engage with an elaborate story yet and who frankly has just only recently moved on from the stage of book eating to actually being able to listen to the story. You may think that reading is not really that significant at this stage… that stories do not make as much impact…Well.. you see… I look at this small child and I look at the way he handles his books and I see a very strong need in him… the need to engage with the world that’s presented on those pages… the need to know, the thirst to understand… those small things such as why the little chicken is pulling a bucket full of water from the well or why the small kitten is in bed with a high temperature. How can you not tell the whole story when those small eyes are pleading to know?

The real-stuff corner and its powers

I used to think that toddlers love colourful toys. That vibrancy is what draws them in. I was mistaken. This beautiful toy above was presented to my son from our dear friend. It was offered with the most generous heart and best intentions but at the moment it’s mummy who plays with it most often. I think that my son will grow to like it and will learn to play with it when the time comes but now… it’s the real stuff and the real world that he seeks… so much so that the floors in our house are at times invisible while the opposite is true of our bookshelves and cupboards.

To manage this situation I created a corner for my son with the real stuff (everyday objects) to freely mess around with. The space is a hit. Both with him and with me. I cook or I do some work while he plays joyfully without my nagging. We are much happier together like this.

Looking at this little boy playing just with a simple jar I was again reminded that the ordinary in life can be a source of great adventure… perhaps it’s just about not seeing a jar as a jar…. but as something that you can… twist, turn, pat, rub, bite, wiggle, smell, wipe, stare at, stare through, scrub, make sounds with, cover your tiny teddy-bear with or catch a spider into.

I must admit I regret a few toy purchases. I should have paced myself a little and not been so swayed by their cuteness. It’s just I didn’t really appreciate the curiosity-generating powers of the real world. I didn’t understand that this is what a small child wants to know most about. So we’re going to be learning about the real world together this year. Discovering and re-discovering what’s around us. It’s Nothing New after all…

“…for children play is serious learning. Play is really the work of childhood.”

~Fred Rogers

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