(...)
When ego bursts
It makes space
For the other...
Alicja Pyszka-Franceschini, Autumn 2024
From the anthology On Immaturity (not yet published) by Alicja Pyszka-Franceschini
Photograph: Alicja Pyszka-Franceschini, Ambergate, The Birches, Derbyshire, UK
(...)
When ego bursts
It makes space
For the other...
Alicja Pyszka-Franceschini, Autumn 2024
From the anthology On Immaturity (not yet published) by Alicja Pyszka-Franceschini
Photograph: Alicja Pyszka-Franceschini, Ambergate, The Birches, Derbyshire, UK
I suspect you’ve been extremely busy this week, getting yourself ready for Christmas and making plans for days to come, completing tasks that had to be done.
Life has been hectic for us too in the last few days and Tuesday disappeared under specialist appointments, quick drop-ins to friends, school matters and joint learning.
I have, therefore, only a humble gratitude point to share this week. I am thankful today for good moments that we spontaneously initiate.
The photo below was taken at a farm nearby. I will forever remember my son cheekily running after a pheasant that proudly strolled around the field and my frustration that I couldn’t stop him (my son, not the pheasant). Young, energetic, stubborn. As most of them are at that age, I think.
The photo above was taken during a solo walk around our local woodland, Stanhope Woods, near Trent and Mersey Canal, Stenson, Derbyshire. I thought that I’ll share this with you before winter replaces autumnal decor with its frosty brush strokes.
So today I am thankful for spontaneous ventures that turn into memories captured and revived in photographs.
What is on your gratitude list today?
Is it only me or have you also noticed that we are buying less than in the past two years in the UK? Of course, inflation has a lot to do with it. The realistic capacities of our rooms and houses also play a role and, I guess, our self-control has vastly increased too. I have an impression that we shop differently now. That said, when you add something to your shopping basket, what do you like to add? When I was a kid we used to love when my auntie was coming back home from her shopping trips. We loved to see what she bought for herself and her kids. It was a shared delight, of sorts. But now these type of conversations have gained a different flavour to them and consumerism is not as straight-forward as it was in the past, but we do like talking about it so, prompted by a recent debate on BBC Radio Derby, I thought that I will ask you if you impulse-buy a lot and how you go about it?
From observing myself, my children and people around me, I noticed that impulse-buying rarely translates to over-buying everything. It is usually the same type of item that lands in our shopping carts and often that item is simply something that we find of value but also something that we get ourselves anxious about, be it health, education or cleanness, entertainment, or belonging. Anxiety can have a strong grip over us and does manifest itself in sudden weight-losses in our wallets. Sometimes, don’t get me wrong, it is so worth it. We invest in a better quality of life, a peace of mind and a sense of shared experience. We also invest in a smoother flow to our days. But when the impulses become another problem to solve, we feel that they no longer work in our favour.
But how about if we think that actually the impulses are working in our favour? That there is something that they are trying to say to us that we have to notice. Maybe that you are already this thing that you have bought over the years. That you are already healthier, cleaner, more educated, funnier, greener than several years ago. Keeping our confidence stable about ourselves and knowing that we are surrounded with people who notice our growth is I guess what could quite successfully reduce our propensity for impulse-buying. It would keep us in a good mental space.
Should we agree then that next time we shop, we notice our inner needs first and our growth?
Conscious-consumerism is a legitimate state of mind. :)
This post was promoted by a discussion on BBC Radio Derby that happened a few weeks ago. It seems like a relevant topic to tackle before Christmas.
At the Hindu Temple Geeta Bhawan n Derby
On the 31st of October, we celebrated in Derby the festival of light, Diwali alongside other festivities and the hype of Halloween. It can seem a bit strange that I am writing about this on Thanksgiving Day but on the other hand I feel it is most appropriate because in fact we rarely give thanks to each other for permissions to see and participate in the lives of our diverse communities. When we start to socialise into the routines of communities other than our own, we spot differences but at the same the common needs and burdens as well as the efforts to make us feel welcomed and included. This is a lot to be thankful for.
When years ago I started a doctorate (and never completed) at MOSAIC at the University of Birmingham in Multilingulism with the use of autoethnography as a research method, I was learning how to write about oneself as placed in a multicultural British landscape and in an eclectic family. The task was confusing and insurmountable at times and for a long time I could not pin down where the difficulties were coming from. Until of course I understood… One was coming from a commonly held belief that talking about oneself is not the done thing, let alone to research oneself in the context of multiple cultures… this seems even more odd. Anyhow, my doctorate collapsed during the Covid-19 pandemic under the pressure of ill health, two small home-educated kids, my husband’s increased workload (no, he was not on furlough) and my need for creative rest that I am still very much a supporter of. That said, although my doctorate collapsed, the need to engage in local communities remains strong.
On the surface looking into the culture of a different community seems like having nothing in common with doing research into oneself, except when the holy scripture of that group teaches you a lot about self-intelligence and its importance for life well lived. The Gita actually uses the term ‘self-intelligence’ in its writing legitimizing self-knowledge, discipline and broader awareness of values that govern us and our choices. Indeed, who would we become without our ability to self-reflect and observe.
In the book Natural Law & Natural Rights, John Finnis lists 7 basic goods of human life necessary for our well-being. Among them, he lists: 1) life (itself with health, safety and self-preservation), 2) knowledge, 3) play, 4) aesthetic experience, 5) sociability (friendship), 6) practical reasonableness and 7) religion which of course concerns itself with love, the importance of truth, goodness, transcendence and the boundaries of human freedom. These common goods order and create what we call ‘quality of life’ and determine our overall satisfaction of life. Thus, part of learning about each other and our cultures is to see how we go about those values and common goods in our cultural groups and settings.
So here are a few postcards from Diwali as observed in Geeta Bhawan in Derby. For this post, I asked two mums to whom I chatted about the Gita, Radhe and Sarbjit, to explain to me who and what I saw at the Temple. They replied on WhatsApp.
Who are the gods/ deities here?
Radhe answered: ‘Shiva (with Trident) Parvati Devi (also known as Durga). In her arms Ganesha.
That peacock is standing besides Radha and Krishna’
“Abode of Krishna is called VrindaVan (Forest of Tulsi plants – one type of basil)
So eternally Krishna lives in a forest..residents of VrindaVan possess pure love for Krishna.
So in eternal vrindavan Krishna z devotees are in the eternally in the form of trees, parrots, peacocks, cows, cowherd boys, cowherd girls. Their forms are based on how they want to love Krishna…that will be a long discussion
Anyways, the story goes once Krishna was playing on his flute and has invited the animals of VrindaVan for a dance. Peacocks were dancing very gracefully. Soon Krishna joined their dance, looking at Krishna dancing peacocks started marveling his dancing.
Then the peacocks offered their best possession to Krishna, peacock feather. Krishna accepted their offering and honored it by always wearing peacock feather on his head.
In the middle, if I see correctly is Gopal – baby form of Krishna. Krishna reciprocates to the desires of his devotees. Many devotees want to love him as their own child so they worship him as Baby Gopal.
We worship deities by offering them clothes, food, jewellery.
So the deities are dressed in different colours the day you visited the dress happened to be of purple colour. Their is no particular significance of purple colour.
Next time if you ever choose to go you may see them in a different colour.
Traditionally on full moon day deities are offered a white dress.
On ekadashi (one day from the lunar calendar) offered a red dress.
By offering service to deity form of the Lord one can get purified of sinful desires. Sometimes people offer such service as an expression of gratitude.”
“Food has an significant impact on our consciousness. In Bhagvad Gita you may have studied about Sattvik, Rajasik, Tamasik.
We offer Sattvik food to the Krishna. When he accepts that offering it becomes Prasadam (which means Grace/mercy)
Prasadam will purify our consciousness.
That fruit was Prasadam. (…)
You visited the Temple on Diwali day, on Diwali people worship Lakshmi Devi and ask for prosperity.
[In the framed photo] is Lakshmi Devi, goddess of wealth.”
I also asked Sarbjit who visits the temple to tell me about a senior person who was distributing fruit towards the end of the prayer as I did not know who he was. Sarbjit replied, “If that man was wearing different clothes, then it was a Pandit. Otherwise, he could be a sevadar (volunteer).” During the worship people walk around the alter and worship each god separately after that they receive a piece of fruit, just before they leave the temple. The man very humbly told me that he is not a scholar in the study of religion and that there was someone else there who could have done it if I was there a lot earlier. But what he said, was that the most important thing is to remember that the gods/ the deities are indestructible and that what we as human beings cannot correct, they will do it for us. They will correct all the wrongs. This message I found to be most comforting. I hope you do too.
Happy Thanksgiving. May the light of Diwali keep on shining on us.
Thank you to Nikhila and Karthik for agreeing to be featured in the photographs for this blog post. Additional gratitude goes to Radhe and Sarbjit who supported me with their understanding of the customs here. Thank you very much.
Any comments and corrections more than welcome. :) Thank you all.
The text I referred to in the article is:
Finnis, J. (2011) Natural Law and Natural Rights. Oxford University Press: Oxford.
Postcards Without Stamps 