Touched

“The other morning I woke up worrying about a dear friend’s well-being. I felt it as an ache in my heart. When I got up and looked out my window, I saw such beauty that it stopped my mind. I just stood there with the heartbreak of my friend’s condition and saw trees heavy with fresh snow, a sky that was purple-blue, and a soft mist that covered the valley, turning the world into the vision of the Pure Land. Just then, a flock of yellow birds landed on the fence and looked at me, increasing my wonder further still.

I realized then what it means to hold pain in my heart and simultaneously be deeply touched by the power and magic of the world. Life doesn’t have to be one way or the other. We don’t have to jump back and forth. We can live beautifully with whatever comes – heartache and joy, success and failure, instability and change.” Pema Chödrön, Living Beautifully

Parenting with (Self)Care: Guides and Links To Resources on Postnatal Health, Wellbeing and Nutrition

Nutrition and postnatal health are the topics that I have, over the last two years, become very interested in. In nutrition because I want my husband and son to be healthy; in postnatal health because I want to be able to enjoy these challenging early years of motherhood. I’ve been reading a lot around those subjects but also attending meetings and events in my town that addressed those topics. I am one of these people that need to be reminded and frequently directed on to the right path if I want good habits to settle in.

Here’s a list of resources that helped me…

The essential guide to foods that heal, Olivier, Suzannah [ISBN: 978-0716023272]. It is actually unbelievable how many ailments can be healed or exacerbated by the food that we eat. This guide is clear, well-written and packed with information. It’s a spring of knowledge that is really worth drinking from.

The 10 Secrets of 100% healthy people, Holford, Patrick [ISBN: 978-0749929114]. Don’t be dissuaded by the strange formulaic title. This book to me seems like a good piece of research, with surveys for you to fill in to provide health signposts. This book has helped me identify what I should focus on in my recovery. It’s not strictly about postnatal health and has wider relevance. I like this book and would easily spend a week reading it again.

Postnatal depletion even 10 years later. This is a title of an article that I have found online (Click on the title to be redirected to the site). It really explains clearly how depleted women can be in the first years of mothering. It’s a very informative and essential read.

Other sources to keep an eye on:

Mothermorphosis – The author, Dr Oscar Serrallach, who writes about postnatal depletion is about to publish a book on the subject. I have looked at its brief and have put my email on the list to be informed of its release.

Nutrition and Wellbeing – Have you heard about FutureLearn? It’s a platform that offers free courses online prepared by British universities. I have just signed up to a course on Nutrition and Wellbeing that will start running in Aug 17. The course promises to “Demystify the complex and conflicting messages we hear about diet, health and lifestyle today” and is run by University of Aberdeen. Here’s the link to the course.

The resources above provided practical knowledge to me and were great change triggers. If you decided to look at any of them or to participate in the course, I hope that you’ll find all the info that you need to increase the quality of your family life.

How I have raised my energy levels beyond those of my toddler

Over the last 6 months I have made a deliberate attempt at improving my health and raising my energy levels to exceed, or at least match, those of my toddler. I was getting progressively weaker and weaker and so decided to manage myself more thoughtfully and replenish resources. Every step I made equalled a step up on the energy ladder and I only wish now I had done it sooner. Here’s a short description of the journey to vitality that I have taken so far.

1. I started small in January. No great ambitions. All that I really wanted was to get more sleep and so I did. Often at the expense of dirty floors, windows and dishes but in all honesty I was so exhausted there was no other choice. I gave myself 5 weeks. These were 5 weeks when I was committed to live with all the undone chores just to have the time for my recuperative bliss. Sleep is one of the most powerful medicines available. Do not feel guilty that you need it. You are not lacking discipline. You are lacking sleep.

2. I experienced an immediate improvement in my energy levels after those sleepy weeks but it was winter and I was lacking motivation to leave the house for longer walks and I knew I needed them to get fitter so I invested in pedometer – a little clever tool that counts your steps. To me, a blessing. You probably can use a smartphone for that and download the right apps but I do not have one so I bought this one. The pedometer worked for me, it worked for my husband, it worked for my mum and dad. Try, I think it might work for you too.

3. I read a lot about nutrition, gut flora, adrenal fatigue and supplementation. I was ignorant when it came to those subjects and I would not describe myself as a great supporter of supplements before. However I realised that after pregnancy I was just too depleted and would not be able to replenish my resources with diet only – I would probably have to double my food intake and I am not slim. In my case, post-pregnancy supplementation (2.5 years later!) was essential. On the subject of gut flora, I learnt that many autoimmune diseases are linked to our gut. If you, like me, were given antibiotics in the last few years, you may benefit from taking extra care for your gut. Fermented food could be really beneficial. Sauerkraut is regularly served on my table.

4. Are you a grazer? Yes I am. A bad one – one that used to graze on biscuits and chocolate. A good one – one that now grazes on nuts (Brazil nuts and walnuts), dried fruit (mainly prunes) and superfoods (e.g. avocado, blueberries). It’s a very simple but a very beneficial change to make as you simply graze on nutrients: vitamins and protein. Of course if you’re not a grazer then do not even try to be one – just add some nuts to your breakfast.

5. Water. I used to be a heavy coffee drinker. A couple of weeks ago I decided to break this habit too. I knew that my energy levels were improving as I was leaving half-full cups of coffee all over the house. Not drinking it – not needing it. I replaced the coffee with cold water. Now water is all that I need to feel refreshed in the middle of the afternoon when my energy drops slightly.

6. It’s only now, almost three years from my pregnancy, 6 months after I started looking after myself that I feel I can take on heavier workout and seriously look after my body. Is there anyone who you like exercising with? My sister has recently recommended Focus T25, which is a cardio 25 minutes workout per day for 5 days, I have tried it and loved it.

Just recently, during our first meeting, my nutritionist gave me a piece of advice. She suggested that I should create a positive mantra that would describe myself in good health with great energy. The mantra could be as simple as I am health. The psychological effect behind repeating it is similar to that of a placebo effect. If we think that we are healthy or that we are heading the right direction in our recovery our brain starts producing the necessary chemicals which support the process. I am healthy and vigorous – that’s my mantra. What would yours be? Where do you get your energy from?

Have patience to walk in small steps until you have the wings to fly.

Francis de Sales

The right time

Last year I started two small projects that didn’t come to anything. The work was done but the fruit was not born.

One of the projects was related to my garden. I turned the earth, removed loads of rubble and old dead roots, filled many flower pots and garden patches with earth and compost, and planted seedlings, seeds and bulbs. A bit too late to the season. They have grown to an extent but unfortunately never revealed its full beauty. Never blossomed.

This little incidence taught me something: Timing in life is important. It seems to me that many of our projects or endeavours in life have their time bracket. Ultimate conditions for growth. The right time. Perhaps it takes a failed attempt at making something happen to recognize that right time and to make use of it.

In the coming months I’d like to be a bit more aware of time (its presence, limitations, seasonality, etc.) and work with it and within it. Not against it.I think that time and I may even become friends this year.

What’s your relationship with time like? How do you stay in beat with it?

“Opportunities are usually disguised as hard work”

Whenever I feel slightly vulnerable, I search for words that would give me strength. I look for speeches that inspire me and make me feel less fragile. People have a capacity to hurt us but also to plaster our wounds; they can let us down or surprise us with their generosity. I love being surprised and inspired with people’s good heart, with their ability to sacrifice a bit of self-comfort, a bit of self for greater values, for community, family or friendship. I am painfully conscious of the fact that only actions will make me a better person, only actions speak of me. There are moments however when I feel very tired, when I feel too disgruntled to continue doing things and it is then that I most need to be inspired, I need to be convinced again… in order not to give up. These are the speeches that inspired me lately.
1. Patch Adams (Movie, Parts 8/10 and 9/10 on You Tube)
2.The real Patch Adams.
I’ve come across these words by Ann Landers the other day: “Opportunities are usually disguised as hard work, so most people don’t recognize them.” I hope I am not making a mistake by having another go at a project that will take a lot of effort to complete – in January I am resuming my doctoral studies. My research is not related to medicine, but I relate to the doctor in the videos when he says “Sir, I want to be a doctor with all my heart. I want to become a doctor so that I can serve others.” I am trying to fight a state of terrible insecurity right now. Last time I started my research I had to stop it as my body collapsed (pregnancy efforts and research was just too much for me to bear). In January I’ll be entering the research stronger in body but with trauma. I fear and I question but I want to do it…with all my heart.

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