Initiate growth inside your family

flowers

These very first years of family life are full of challenges and negotiations that once resolved are actually incredibly satisfying. I like to think of a family as a unit in a state of growth. So when we hibernate for too long, we ask ourselves which of the spheres of life we have recently or over time neglected. In fact, I like to do this very easy exercise in which next to a life sphere we discuss ideas on how to improve it. It is a very simple exercise that, if you wish to do it for your own family, is best done individually for each member and then together as a whole.

Life Sphere:

Spiritual  – effort to make time for meditation, reflection, prayer, quiet space in our busy liveflowers2s

Humane  – effort to make time for helping others outside the family and each other within the family

Emotional – effort to make time for cultivating positive emotions (love, kindness, compassion) and working through the negative ones, scheduling activities that bring about positive emotions

Physical – effort to make time for sport, rest, affection, cooking nutritious food, looking after our bodies

Intellectual – effort to make time for cultural activities (book, cinema, theatre) and stretching our minds, problem-solving activities, formal or informal study

Social – effort to make time for socializing, family-and-community gatherings, family conversation, celebrating, events in your own city, etc.

Environmental – effort to make time for engaging with nature, improving our homes or local areas, repairing the house, making our immediate environment pleasant

When it comes to family growth and well-being I have got one belief: every effort that you’ll make in the space of one year will deliver its shoots the next and if cultivated it will fully blossom in years to come. Do not get dissuaded or discouraged by the instant gratification culture, everything that is worth doing, is worth doing even if the fruit will show later in life.

Have a lovely family life!

This exercise has been inspired by the exercises promoted within Cognitive-Behavioral Psychology. If you’d like to learn more about it, you may like to read: Cognitive Behavioral Therapy: Teach Yourself (2012) by Christine Wilding or any other book or introduction to Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy.

Edible cities, edible homes

homegrown broadbeansHave you ever heard about the philosophy of edible cities? In the name of this ideal, owners of small flats and houses fill their windowsills with pots of chives and parsley, change their lawns into vegetable patches and fill their hanging baskets with tomato vines. It’s a great and straightforward way of bringing back THE REAL FOOD to your doorstep. No foil. No plastic. No packaging. Just the pure food produce pulled from the soil, your soil, and as organic as you can make it.

To me, a girl who grew up in a village with a big vegetable garden in the backyard, orchards and cold stores full of plums, apples and cherries, there is no other way of living in a city than making its surroundings edible. I need nature to feel grounded and I need contact with soil. It’s humbling and enabling at the same time. Humbling because the growth does not always happen, enabling because often it does and then you feel that you are more than just the manager of your pantry.

thyme
Thyme in winter

We’ve made a few changes in our garden this year to grow food, we have made a raised bed out of a tree that had to be felled due to its trunk forking out and we planted two small apple trees and blackcurrant, raspberry and blueberry bushes. Cherry tomatoes and small chillies are reddening in the sunnier parts of our garden. Some of our beetroots and broad beans are ready for collection and consumption. Herbs are abundant.

We had our problems. Things dried when we were away. The cucumbers just refused to grow. More than a few leaves have been eaten by slugs but to me this is an insignificant obstacle. Living in a city is not a problem either. I don’t see myself as limited by location. It’s just about getting the timing right and then learning as it all grows.

Thyme in Summer
Thyme in Summer

eaten by slugs

My son is a very eager grower and an absolute real food lover. He loves helping around the kitchen and the garden. He likes to play with food too, e.g. by taking broad beans out of their shell and then putting them back. And these broad beans… wow… once they are lightly cooked, they are divine. And the smell of the herbs in the kitchen is just wonderful. Just when we cooked some of our vegetables for dinner this evening I thought that one of the reasons for growing your own food is to remember what fresh produce should smell and taste like. It’s partially to have a benchmark against which you can assess the quality of food. Personally I am not enamored with supermarkets and I hardly ever shop there for food. Human contact is too precious for me and so we shop at the market or small independent stalls and stores. We rely on my greengrocer’s great fresh food produce.

folding it back 2homegrown apple_discoveryIt’s my greengrocer, some of you fellow bloggers, and my parents of course who remind me that we are not only consumers, but also growers and creators, capable of influencing our surroundings. If we always choose convenience, we become so one-dimensional, so plain and flat in knowledge and experiences that we are no longer… interesting.

Say no to convenience. There is always some space between flowers for some lovely food. I am happy that I didn’t get discouraged by last year’s garden failures. We’re definitely are going to grow more from now on. It’s just really really rewarding. I hope you’ll try too, will you?

herbscooking

camommilestarting to give croptomato flowersIf you would like to read more about edible cities and permaculture, read this book: Edible Cities: Urban Permaculture for Gardens, Balconies, Rooftops, and Beyond by Judith Anger, Dr. Immo Fiebrig, Martin Schnyder (2013).

 

What do we truly want from our lives?

Postcards Without Stamps

What do we truly want from our lives

I took a break from writing this blog to fill myself up with good experiences and as I was resting, exploring and nourishing myself and my body I’ve realised how depleting our current lifestyles are – those ways of life that we choose to live in our Western society: choosing walls instead of being outdoors, choosing screens instead of faces, choosing plasticated and pre-prepared food instead of a wholesome self-made dinner, choosing an additional cup of coffee instead of additional two hours of sleep, choosing to race through days instead of experiencing them… The body registers those choices and so no wonder it relentlessly directs us towards other ones through aches, pains, and tiredness – the signals that we should be thankful for as they remove the guilt for wanting to rest, for wanting to go against the mad and pushy current of modern life, for wanting to opt out.

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Be good to yourself. Learn.

kind_unkind learning

“Be good to yourself when you are learning new things.” ~ Elizabeth Gilbert

The longer I study and research, the more I am convinced that developing an inner voice that is kind makes learning less painful and more satisfying.

Kind learning is reassuring, encouraging and full of small and sweet inspirations that help us move forward. It’s this voice which formulates convincing answers to discouraging questions. This kind and eager learning voice which encourages us to enter because the water is just the right depth for us.

The voice of kind learning seeks bigger pictures and deeper meanings. It wants us to answer questions beyond the formulaic: ‘Where do you see yourself in five years time?’. It wants to know: ‘What are your values?’ ‘What do you really care about?’.  It wants us to find the authentic self and for this we ought to learn self-compassion, to learn how to be reassuring and openly honest with ourselves – seeing all of our life journey as crucial to the making of who we are. When we work and learn with our values in mind, it all starts to take shape, it starts to feel right.

“Don’t ask what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive, and go do it. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive.” ― Howard Thurman

The truth in compassion

compassion“There is a beautiful kind of cause-and-effect relationship between truth and compassion. They go together. Compassion leads to truth, truth to compassion; and what makes us avoid either or both of them is usually pain. We want to feel good. We want to protect our beliefs, our ideas about who we are. We want to protect ourselves from seeing the truth about others. … We think the lies are the truth, because we don’t trust the truth itself. But the truth itself is the point, regardless of whether it accords with our beliefs.”

A.H. Almaas, Diamond Heart Book I