“Who never doubted, never half believed. Where doubt is, there truth is – it is her shadow.”
– Ambrose Bierce
Tag: Life
Love at home and of home
Last week was very busy for our little family of three. Each of us had something special booked in our calendars. My little toddler had a sea event at his nursery to which we were invited. We were making fish, sea stars and other marine creatures out of old CDs, scraps of paper and glitter. It was really nice to get lost in an imaginary world and create part of it too.
On Saturday I had a chance to attend a one day course on portrait photography. I was learning how to create a small studio out of nothing and how to achieve different effects in portrait photography. While not all that I’ve learnt will be applied immediately, some might come in useful later on. One of the tasks that we were asked to do on the course was to go to people on the street and ask them if they would mind if we took photographs of them. I felt terribly awkward at first but then tackled the task. I made eight attempts, approached eight people and to my utter surprise, each and every one agreed! The only thing that I had to do was to ask.
I felt quite upbeat by this event but my enthusiasm for life somewhat dropped when on my way home I realised that there is a kitchen to clean, bags with food shopping to unpack, dinner to cook, piles of clothes to wash. The ends of my smile dropped. I sighed deeply before I entered the house… I walked in and… everything was done. It wasn’t a dream. It was my husband. This wonderful man who knows exactly what I need and when, who knows how to lift me up and how to keep me happy. His act of kindness energized me more than the course (so much so that I quickly washed the floors, uncluttered our desk and organised our son’s spaces). It was unbelievably enlivening and set a great tone to our weekend.
What these experiences taught me was that kindness at home tastes even sweeter than the kindness of strangers and that perhaps when it comes to caring for the house it’s great to break the chore routine every so often (either by doing it for someone or changing our focus to a different task). Variety is one of the key variables in optimal nutrition, maybe the same is true of well-nurtured and committed house-keepers.
Finding yourself
“The best way to find yourself is to lose yourself in the service of others.” ~Mahatma Gandhi
Curiosity builds community
Hundreds of emotions run through my body every time when my friends are telling me about leaving the UK and moving back to Poland. The longing for my country, the nostalgia for its customs and landscape, the love for my family and their way of life. Time has not been able to change those emotions, but what I am very grateful for is that it has managed to add new ones too.
I was travelling today through one of the busiest and most multicultural areas in my town. I was looking at people of different ethnic origins and cultures shopping for fruit and vegetables together, chatting and greeting each other at the street and on the bus stops. Immigrants, locals and newcomers all in one place. I looked at them and felt deep love for all of them. They’ve been forming me for the last ten years, letting me get to know them in everyday situations. They’ve been enriching me beyond measure. They’ve been educating me beyond measure and been stretching my identity beyond the borders of my Polish upringing. In so many ways I am them now and they are me.
On Saturday I took my son to a local hardresser. He was a young man, probably not even in his thirties, originally from Iraq. To my astonishment he started speaking to us in fluent Polish. To me this confirms that we are reaching out towards each other and that we like to learn of each other’s cultures. People have been always curious about people… and if that curiosity is removed, through whatever means, we will lose our ability to evolve as a society. We must remain curious of each other. We must want to get to know each other.
The other day I heard someone saying on the radio: “I wasn’t born in Scotland; but Scotland was born in me.” I think I can easily use those words to say: I wasn’t born multcultural, but multiculturalism was born in me.
I am here
Although I do enjoy spending time online, when I spend far too much time it makes me feel numb. I don’t know what it is, maybe information overload, but there is something desensitizing about the Internet. Of course there are texts, articles and talks that enrich, entertain or provoke us in some manner, where their content stays and grows with us for weeks. However, while reading them it’s really easy to click on those other links that just take up time. I notice that the more I stay online, the more my body and my spirit suffers and I suspect that it’s partially because of this ‘extra’ time of mine that I allow the Internet to rob me of… the time that makes me more detached than it makes me feel connected.
Someone told me once that a good start for regaining balance is to say to yourself ‘I am here’. I am here [breathe]. I am here [look around]. I am here [notice how you feel]. I am here [notice your body]. I am here… Who am I? Where am I going? What have I stopped doing? What am I looking for?
‘I am here’ is for many a start of a prayer or meditation. It allows us to take stock of our physical and metaphysical reality. It brings us back to our homes and personal realities that the Internet so eagerly detaches us from.
I am here, writing these words for you while I contemplate the future of this blog, of its value to you, to me and to my family. Part of me feels that the “I am” in “I am here” wouldn’t be me without writing and photographing… but I also wonder who I would be or become if the time that I spend on writing and documenting life would be spent on other things? I guess that my house would be cleaner… or maybe it wouldn’t.
