The Kindness of Strangers

It was already very late into the evening when we navigated through the German town of Stendhal last summer. When the telephone collapsed and the printed map, as if on purpose, showed us only the major streets and nothing nearby. No navigation. Both mobiles off. Just the drizzle and two small kids at the back of the car who really wanted to be stretching their feet in the warm beds after a long drive from Antwerp. We had one scare already when we got stuck in the queues for miles and after an hour our gears refused to cooperate and we were lucky to steer over to the hard shoulder of the motorway. My husband, unable to engage any gear at all and without any working phone, started to panic. Then he bent down and moved the clutch with his hand. This worked, but we were still scared as we carried on driving – confident at that stage that we would find our destination.

Stendhal greeted us with almost empty roads. No human in site, shops put to rest for the night, and no petrol station to stop by or a taxi driver to talk to and a detour around the city because of roadworks that completely took us off course and messed up the organization of the town that I had in my head. There must be a way of figuring out where we we staying, I thought to myself, trying not to lose hope just yet even though I was increasingly getting agitated and restless. The children’s tension mounted and then it broke out with joy as a Burger King stood there lit like a lighthouse in the stormy sea. We parked the car and checked if there was anyone in. We saw people moving but they could not see us. The doors were shut. We were searching for alternatives in our head. We had none. If it was about petrol, we could walk there. No problem. If it was about distance, we could call a taxi, but it was primarily about our lack of direction and no one who we could communicate with. There was no one to whom we could have talked to, until of course there was.

We spotted two people who had just walked out through the back door of the Burger King in a joyful and chatty mood. Did we just miss them? Were we too late? We ran to them for rescue and we explained our predicament. They glanced at our kids and willingly typed the address of our accommodation into their smartphones. We still couldn’t navigate it as all the mobiles seemed to refuse to cooperate with us that evening. As if we meant to talk for a bit longer and learn where we were all from. And so we’ve learnt that they were from Syria and they’ve been settling down there slowly, and they asked for our origin and whereabouts and we prayed together for the phone to give us the direction that it refused to give. Nothing was changing, the postcodes were not accepted, the network circulated in a loop. We grew in frustration and we almost resigned to spend the night at the carpark when all of a sudden a third person came out of the Burger King, attentive and quick, just in a few seconds asked us what has happened and without hesitation took the postcode and typed it into his car’s navigation. ‘No problem. I will drive you there.’ – he said. We couldn’t believe it. He was so quick to help. What’s your name, I asked: ‘Hadi’. He said. Where are you from? Syria. I smiled. A long time ago I was dreaming of taking a Syrian family to safety and it was a person from Syria who took us to safety. Maybe God takes into account good intentions, too, I thought to myself, while we reached our destination being guided by Hadi.

Thank you, Hadi. :)

A few reflections on the days after the referendum

Again

Like many of you I was shocked with the result of the referendum on Friday. In fact I was so unhappy that I could find in myself nothing but an angry voice. Truth be told I was never as angry in my entire life as when I heard of the Prime Minister’s resignation. Then, a day later, after I vented some of my frustration on social media, I realised one thing: how difficult it is to be kind when we’re angry. How difficult… it is.. to be kind when we’re angry. I think it is quite a powerful realisation. One that probably would help us all in dealing with and processing changes that we might not want go through.

On the Saturday and Sunday I was fortunate to be with family and friends celebrating the christenings of two wonderful little girls and on the Saturday when we were driving south with my family, I was thinking about the people who for the last forty or more years worked for European cooperation and strongly believed in its core values and purpose in the world. I felt the tragedy that they were going through, I saw the debris of their collapsed world and I heard the question that they were perhaps asking themselves: Was it all in vein? And my answer to them was: Don’t even think for one minute that it was in vein. It would be much greater a personal tragedy if for forty years you were working against your core values. That, to me, would be a tragedy.

So here came another realisation to me that actually it doesn’t matter if things fail in the end, but what matters is that you still want to commit and create. As Elizabeth Gilbert once said: Your ego is wounded but your soul is fine, your soul just says: Do you want to do it again? Do you still want to work for those values? That’s the key question.

 

Be gentle with your thoughts

gentle thoughtsImagine how differently our life would feel if we accepted that the destiny of our evening thoughts is to give us the necessary ointment for our minds. That our evening thoughts are there to give a massage to our troubled and over-exerted neurons. That their evening flow is supposed to clear our tensions, dissolve our doubts and heal what’s limping or fatigued. That rest starts even before we go to sleep. How contented would we be falling asleep?

What do you do to make sure that your thoughts are gentle to your mind?

Be good to yourself. Learn.

kind_unkind learning

“Be good to yourself when you are learning new things.” ~ Elizabeth Gilbert

The longer I study and research, the more I am convinced that developing an inner voice that is kind makes learning less painful and more satisfying.

Kind learning is reassuring, encouraging and full of small and sweet inspirations that help us move forward. It’s this voice which formulates convincing answers to discouraging questions. This kind and eager learning voice which encourages us to enter because the water is just the right depth for us.

The voice of kind learning seeks bigger pictures and deeper meanings. It wants us to answer questions beyond the formulaic: ‘Where do you see yourself in five years time?’. It wants to know: ‘What are your values?’ ‘What do you really care about?’.  It wants us to find the authentic self and for this we ought to learn self-compassion, to learn how to be reassuring and openly honest with ourselves – seeing all of our life journey as crucial to the making of who we are. When we work and learn with our values in mind, it all starts to take shape, it starts to feel right.

“Don’t ask what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive, and go do it. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive.” ― Howard Thurman

Thankful Tuesday

IMG_9384dancingDo you remember the times when friends or neighbours would call on you with a parcel of nutritious food when you or other members of your family were unwell? Well… these times are not over. A friend of mine with her two-year-old has just turned up on my doorstep with some warm and homemade lunch knowing that I’ve been coughing and sneezing for the last few days. Experiencing kindness feels wonderful. It’s uplifting. It’s inspiring.

When things like that happen, all of a sudden, you see that there are other ones that you can be grateful for. So I thought I will take an example from Katie at Life With The Crew  who is running a series of Thankful Tuesdays and I’ll share with you my highlights. I am grateful for:

– my friend who made me feel that I’m looked after
– all homemade remedies for coughs and colds, including the foul ginger, garlic, milk and honey drink;
– a quiet afternoon without a headache (but with a cup of coffee and a novel);
– music that’s always able to cheer up the chores;
– my son’s early morning dance and giggles that disarm even the most tired of parents;
– clothes that just need some ironing and not replacement;
– my hard-working husband whose dedication to work and his family permits our growth;
– life led with passion;
– and for all of you who take the time to read this. Thank you!

What are you grateful for today?

Pop over to Life With The Crew to be inspired!