Home – Page 13 – Postcards Without Stamps

I attempted to do the impossible over Christmas – I set out to part with one-third of my belongings. When I announced it to my husband and our toddler my husband worryingly replied: ‘But that means that one of us needs to go.’ :)

Well.. not quite.

All that went was the evidence of overcommitment: unread books, unused items, not-yet-or-not-often-worn clothes, forgotten home decorations, disliked music, excessive stationery and other neglected bits and pieces. I was very happy to remove them from my sight and give us back the space where we could hear our thoughts without having our attention pulled in many disparate directions. We needed a home that will stop us from being preoccupied with what we haven’t done and instead allow us to do what we want to do. Do you have a space like that? Space where you can stay relaxed but focused? Space that calms you down but at the same time allows you to move forward?

I see some beautiful images online of vast and glorious terrains and I imagine how easy it is to breathe and think in those spaces. Uncluttered by our engineering and unwanted items. Those spaces are physical representations of the mind that we want to have. Is this why we so eagerly appreciate photographs of single items that just sit there caressed by light, privileged by the space? Or photographs of open spaces… territories where we are free to wander and explore? They awaken a craving in us… don’t they? They draw us in.

That is why I decided I want to defend the spaciousness of our house, protect it from the jumble, disorder and confusion… decolonize our province and reinstate its original beauty and order. It needs to be liberated from the clutter. And we need that too.

It’s just a short visit. You catch the aroma of coffee and cake. Everything is so well-prepared and inviting that a mixture of both guilt and regret stirs inside you. “I’m just popping round – I won’t be able to stay for too long.” The instinct tells you that the generosity with which you are treated deserves much more of your time. You’d like to stay for longer but it’s not possible. The schedule, commitments, busy life. You feel embarrassed about how little time you can offer to your host so next time when invited you don’t come at all or you keep on rescheduling the visit.

Here’s the alternative. Brief visits serve their purpose. They are needed. They are meaningful. Bonds are built through them. Caring for each other is established. Just through asking a few questions. “How’s your new orchid growing?” “How are the kids doing?” These visits strengthen friendship, give rhythm to our relationships. Short duration pulses. Lifebeats.

So you didn’t stay for long? That’s okay. It’s important that you came.