‘Just a second. I don’t want to throw them away yet.’ I remarked to my husband while we were cleaning the kitchen and reorganizing it to accommodate my functioning with two frozen shoulders. The plates and cups moved out of cupboards to lower surfaces and the pots now are within reach for hands that somehow it seems became shorter in the space of just few months. I had my grip measured today by the physiotherapist and while his grip was as strong as 56kg, mine was as much as a round 0 so I’m cooking in lighter pots now and I’m trying to surround myself with soft and delicate objects to touch, wrap myself in and sleep on too. I notice that soft fabrics ease the pain immensely as I suppose the nervous system is running this show as much as the joints, muscles and bones.
My camera work has taken a back seat for a moment. I am quite frightened of the camera’s weight and the repercussions of holding it for too long and too high but nothing is ever lost for the stubborn-hearted, right? I am using the time to make some sensible rearrangements that support creative with restricted hand movements. I’ll write a few posts on this soon. It is tough. I’ll be honest. Very tough at times and I’m cursing and crying sometimes at once and of course I fail not to mention the word ’embittered’ too many times to my friends while describing my moods. But then, I remind myself that I still have my index finger working quite well and, you know, photographers do not blame people, God or circumstances, they use this finger in different ways. So I remind myself to live by the standards of the profession and to search for the light. :)
Writing is taking me to various places at the moment. I have been trying to voice difficult thoughts to myself sensibly before I share them with others. Inner-dialogues have got this ability to get very complicated if left untreated, don’t you think?
My son has just started his secondary school and it pleases me to see him searching for his literary voice and that he is indeed enjoying his English homework. There is something about working with a dictionary that gives us rest and reassurance. All of a sudden everything has a meaning..
How have you been lately?
Postcards Without Stamps 
Dear Alicja
Although it was lovely to read your little story I’m so sorry you are struggling this way. I hope you are taking medication to cope with this pain and not just fighting through it. I don’t think I’ve ever heard of anyone with both shoulders affected this way, so you don’t have a way to work round it even. Does heat help at all. I know when my arthritis flares up I’ve found a good old fashioned hot water bottle has given some comfort. I wish you well and hope your condition starts to improve soon. Xxxx
Love Janie
PS wish Artur well in his new school xx
Sent from my iPad
LikeLiked by 1 person
GREAT TO SEE a post from you gain. Indeed writing keeps us going and if you can still see beauty in what others view as ;death; THE LIFE journey is rich indeed.
I’M thankful indeed for my faith in GOD which surely is still keeping me floating although my body is falling to pieces. Keep looking for beauty and keep writing and occasional photo will keep you travelling BLESSINGS! Thank you!
LikeLiked by 1 person